It’s been a busy party weekend here in Denver. Like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t usually go out to clubs all that often, because most of the time I just feel awkward and don’t really enjoy them that much. But lately I’ve gone a few times to the Santa Fe Tavern for their Friday night karaoke put on by Spaceman Mike! (who’s super-cool). It’s a straight bar / restaurant but usually a few trannies show up. I’ve sung a few times and I’ve noticed a funny thing: since I’m dressed, I want to try to sing in a falsetto or at least a higher-pitched male range, but because I’m always so nervous when I go up, my voice automatically slides down into its regular low range. No big deal, as most of the other CDs all do the same thing too. Sometimes if I can loosen up a bit I’ll be able to throw in a few falsetto lines but it’s not easy. Of course, I’m not a good singer, but hell, 90 percent of the people there aren’t either. The fun thing is performing for your friends and trying to have a good time, so I usually try to sing upbeat or funny songs, such as “Kung Fu Fighting,” which I did the other night. A slow serious ballad would be the kiss of death, unless you can really sing. It’s a cool place and actually the first bar in Denver I’ve found that I really like.

Then last night, after feeling kind of crappy all day long, I finally said, “What the hell!” threw on some make-up and went out to a place called Milk Bar where some other local t-girls were planning to be. It’s pride weekend here in Denver (it’s not all the same weekend in other cities, is it?) so I knew the place would probably be packed. It’s an interesting place, with a black and white theme, named after the bar from “A Clockwork Orange,” and with another goth club connected to it next door. They’re both rather nice, and I felt pretty relaxed there. I usually just wander around when I’m at those places, check out the hotties, drink one glass of wine (hardcore!), chat with people I know (and thankfully there were quite a few last night) and dance a little with friends. I really like to dance, though again, I’m not good at it, but when you can really lose yourself in the beat for a moment it can be a wonderful time. Not to get all existential, but sometimes it does seem that living in this physical world and encased in this physical body that we carry around, it really can feel like a terrible burden – with the sense we all have of being separate from one another, the inevitable aging process, and the numerous flaws of the human body and damage that it’s prone to – sometimes it can just suck to exist, though the alternative is probably worse. Dancing, and obviously things like drugs and drink, can bring some momentary relief from all that heaviness, though dancing’s a lot friendlier on the bod.

So yeah, with all that, it’s a nice club – now the second one that I actually like enough in Denver to go back to. Of the two bars, I probably liked the goth one a little bit better, though the music was so shockingly loud that I had to wear ear plugs. It wasn’t that you might damage your hearing in the place but that you will damage it if you stay there unprotected. A girl leaned over at one point and tried to tell me that she liked the blouse I was wearing but it was like trying to decipher a foreign tongue – “Huh? What? You like my boobs?” But the music was pretty cool and the dancing in goth clubs is fun, if utterly pretentious. You really don’t have to do much in those places to call it dancing – just slowly move your arms around and strike dramatic poses. The other side, “Milk Bar” had much more pop and disco flavored music and was really crowded, as it’s a bit smaller. So anyway, I don’t think I’ll be there every weekend but I’ll certainly go back from time to time. Worth checking out.