So once again I’m spending a couple days visiting my parents in Atlanta for the end of the year. Every time I blog about these visits it’s the same thing – nice to see them as they’re both old and dealing with lots of health problems and also rather discouraging since there’s a certain amount of denial of the future and of reality, especially regarding my mother who lives in her own little world (a very common story). But it’s the right thing to do to be here with them so here I am. As always, movies provide some good distractions and I’m really looking forward to a nice glass of wine tomorrow night for New Year’s Eve – hope everyone has a fun night with friends and family or whomever you’re spending it with…And here’s wishing all the best for 2013!
You are at a point in life when you become a parent to your parents. Their loss is inevitable, This is a wrenching time for you so insure they get the care needed but, importantly, you need to take care of yourself. Where they are at can be depressing but their situation has nothing to do with you. A swirl of “shoulds” could be buzzing in your brain, but put them aside. They can in no way change the situation except to drag you down, something you really don’t need. You have your life to live……….. and live it well……….!!
rv
Thanks so much, Volcane, for the words of encouragement. It is a tough thing to deal with but inevitable, as you say…Hope you’re well and had a good New Year’s Eve too…
Treasure them while you have them Sandra, i lost my Father years ago & Mother only last year, i miss them both dearly. It was hard towards the end, but i found the strength to cope from my friends & was able to give comfort to my parents in their final moments.
It is inevitable of course, & we can be only ourselves.
My support & respects to you. You are certainly an inspiration to me when i’m in Rachel mode x
Sandra, I recently lost both of my parents. My dad had been gonzo for years with dementia. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last fall and fell very fast. They died last month within a week of each other.
I got to spend a good deal of time with my mom before she passed. I’m always going to remember her as both a parent and a friend. I’m really lucky she was so much her own woman down until the end. That’s so different from the years of my Dad’s absence from sanity. But for all those years she was there for him. She spoke of her disappointment with him before that but once he relied on her she was his constant champion and caretaker-in-chief.
Take what you can from your folks and how you spend time with them. I miss my mom do much.
With empathy,
Selina