Mood: A Bit Down

I try to stay active, get exercise, and have projects to work on because otherwise I tend to get depressed more often than I like to admit. These things do help but I still find myself getting depressed sometimes even though life is going really well. I think for some people, depression is a part of their temperament (though some might say it’s just a habit.) I know that there have been medical studies indicating that the more depressive episodes one experiences during one’s life, the more prone that individual is to have further episodes in the future. Sort of a discouraging thing to hear for someone who’s been depressed many times since adolescence.

One of the crappy things about depression is that I’ll feel bad about feeling bad, like I “shouldn’t” be feeling down. I’ll tell myself, “What do you have to feel bad about? Life is good, you just started co-sponsoring a bondage party, and are running the bondage workshop, and taking lots of pictures for your website. You have your health and friends and family who love you and an active life – What the hell are you feeling down for?” And it’s like, “Yeah, that’s all true – isn’t it ironic that I feel depressed?” So telling myself that I should be feeling something different is about as useful as someone saying, “Cheer up” or “Snap out of it,” or my favorite, “Smile!” (And what’s really annoying is that sometimes when you do force yourself to smile, it really can give your mood a little boost.)

Current mood: A bit dark (but it’ll pass).

6 thoughts on “Mood: A Bit Down”

  1. Cheer up Sandra. You are a wonderful combination of brains,beauty and wit! Your website is the best anywhere related to B&D/TV’s. Things will continue to
    improve for you in the future, I am certain. Rick

  2. Logical intelligent people always suffer more as their right brain fights with their left brain. When I’m depressed, also often for no ‘reason’, I just try and not make any importent decisions until it passes and yes it pisses me and other logical types off when logic is no help.

    Oh and when your logic fails you just remember that old cliche “the heart hath the reasons of which the mind knows not.”

    Incidentally, I’m cheerful today, for no reason so here take some of mine. : )

  3. When I get depressed I visit trannies in trouble, and see the gorgeous Sandra bound and gagged, wearing a tight girdle, and boy does that bring my spirits back up.

  4. Thanks, Everyone, for all the nice comments! I’m feeling fine today and back in the sunshine (we must be sharing some of the same thing, Babette :-) xoxo, Sandra

  5. Wheeeeeeeeee ! Sunshine and I accidentally made the coffee way too strong. Now let’s hold hands and sing “we are the whirled” and omg I love that writer chick you linked to, and her “get out of hell free” cards. Now i’m so happy I can barely be ‘restrained’, but please somebody(anybody) try : )

  6. Sandra,
    I know how you feel and I feel the same way. I live your situation as well. What your doing now doesn’t seem like your accomplishing anything for the future. At least thats the vibe I got out of it. Keep your chin up and a smile on your face, we have it better than most people out there. Appriciate what you have accomplished and success out of your future projects in progress.

    Louann

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