Dreams of Love and Lust

November 29th, 2018 at 10:21 pm (life in general, los angeles)

Talking about dreams is usually boring as hell but I’m going to do it anyway, so forgive me if this is a snooze. A couple times a year I’ll have a dream where I’ve met a mysterious woman who’s really into me, or who gives off that vibe, and whom I also find attractive. I’m almost always in “boy mode” myself though I think there have been a few exceptions. Usually it’s a scene where we’ve just met and I’m tiptoeing around my feelings, unsure of whether to own up to just how attracted I am to her. In some of them, though, the woman approaches me and her presence is intoxicating. Usually there’s nothing explicit going on but the atmosphere is highly charged. In a few of them we have been in bed in an embrace, or she’s put her hand on my cheek looking into my eyes, or my hand will be on her leg. Something big is about to happen but it hasn’t happened yet. But there’s always a feeling of, “How lucky I am to have finally met this person and to be here in this moment alone with her…”

Just a week or two ago I had one of these dreams, with a woman wearing a satin blouse and shiny skirt, like in the picture below, very voluptuous, practically coming on to me. In the back of my mind I knew I’d have to tell her I’m a crossdresser and I wasn’t sure how she’d respond. I was a little worried but feeling completely swept up in the moment. Again the atmosphere was so charged and I could see her legs and her stockings through the slit in her skirt. The curves of her body pressed tight against the clothes.

At this point I’ll usually wake up and then go, “Damn it, I’m awake!” And then the sadness hits. There’s such a feeling of connection, followed by the thought that I may never feel something like this in real life. I lie there just wanting to be dreaming again. These occasional dreams are by far the most powerful ones I have, like a brief moment when life feels perfect but, alas, they’re not real. I only hope I have one again soon. Maybe by writing about them I’ll trigger some more. Otherwise it could be another six months. It’s worth the wait…Nite Nite.

Photo by AmberKatt

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West Hollywood Halloween, 2018

November 2nd, 2018 at 12:43 am (life in general, los angeles)

I had a great time last night in West Hollywood. Most everyone I know who usually goes was skipping it this year because it was a weekday night, so I grabbed my camera and went solo and had a fun time shooting a little video. Towards the end of the night I was even able to connect with Ikaras, Lorelei from Bedroom Bondage, and Jon Woods from American Damsels. So there’s even some bondage shots in the video! I was really glad to make it again since I’ve had to skip the last couple years. Another one all wrapped up!

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