As so many have commented when news of Bryon Noem’s bimbofication fetish came to light, very few are kink-shaming him for what he’s into\u2014certainly not me. I’ve met quite a few gurls with similar fantasies! But the first thought that came to mind when I saw his now-notorious photo was, “Girlfriend, with some makeup and a nice wig you can take this to the next level!” And with the money he’s reportedly been spending on cam girls he could certainly afford some high-quality breast forms\u2014ditch the balloons and get some really huge realistic-looking knockers!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is of course the massive irony that he’s married to a woman with such a strong anti-LGBTQ record<\/a>, including her stance against drag shows on campus, not to mention her own history of playing dress-up<\/a> for the camera as the former face of the DHS and ICE. But I really just feel sorry for Bryon Noem. What he did was stupid and reckless considering all the controversy surrounding his wife. It makes you wonder if he secretly wanted to be found out. (To paraphrase Freud, every fear is a wish). But once that picture came out, I would suspect that Bryon Noem probably thought of killing himself, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s had a few moments since then where self-annihilation might still seem like a reasonable option for him. I’d be more surprised if he didn’t have an initial suicidal impulse\u2014it would be almost inevitable after such a degree of public humiliation. He’ll be known for his bimbo fetish for the rest of his life, the defining moment of his life\u2014this poor guy with bad judgment and worse dressing skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one is asking for my advice but if he was, mine would be to own it. Come up with some humorous lines when talking to the press to show that you fully embrace your kink and, yes, work a little more on your look. Maybe do a photoshoot makeover in Vanity Fair<\/em> magazine the way Caitlyn Jenner did years ago. But the only way to get over something this huge (pun intended), is to learn to laugh at yourself and not blame anyone else. Initially there were reports that one of the cam girls he was seeing online, Lydia Love<\/a>, had leaked the photos, but since then it appears likely that she simply commented on the photos once they were already out there, confirming that he was a client: “Did I expose him? No. None of those pictures are from me. I just told my story.”<\/em> I’m still not really sure how the pictures got released. If one of the girls he was talking to online outed him non-consensually, well, that wouldn’t be cool at all, regardless of one’s political leanings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And regarding that marriage, well, if Kristi Noem were also his Domme that would make it even better! It does appear though that she’s already been cucking him<\/a> big time if the rumors are true (and her alleged affair was already being reported as the worst-kept secret in Washington back when she was still head of the DHS).<\/p>\n\n\n\n So again, I’m not kink shaming Bryon Noem, though the massive irony of the story is still pretty funny. And it’s generated, of course, some killer memes. Team Bryon!<\/p>\n\n\n\n