I’ve been hearing from quite a few guys lately who are either married and closeted crossdressers whose wives don’t know, or who are in marriages where the wife doesn’t approve of the crossdressing and doesn’t want to hear about it, or who have wives who only partly tolerate it. And I find it kind of sad because oftentimes I’ll read someone describing their situation and it’s apparent that it’s going to be a continuing problem. I always come back to wondering how it’s possible to make a marriage work if the wife finds her husband’s sexuality or gender expression unacceptable. It just seems like a recipe for failure. And that doesn’t mean that either the wife or the husband is wrong, maybe just incompatible.<\/p>\n
Of course, if the husband keeps it secret from his wife for the rest of their life together, I suppose that could work, and it has worked, I’m sure, for thousands and thousands of couples over the years. But what a heavy price to pay for the poor guy, basically shutting himself down and keeping this part of himself hidden from his wife and from everyone else for his entire life. Fucking depressing! <\/p>\n
I’m sounding like Ann Landers again here, but it just seems like the only way to make it work in a situation where the wife knows but disapproves is to allow the husband to enjoy dressing on his own from time to time, or maybe with other crossdressing friends, and to otherwise turn a blind eye to it. And that might be an acceptable solution to save the relationship. In any case, the husband is probably going to dress from time to time anyway whether the wife approves of it or not. So it’s probably better if there’s some degree of aggreement about how to handle it, even if it’s just limited agreement like, “she knows but doesn’t know.” We all know how strong these urges are and how they never frickin’ go away. <\/p>\n
In my own case, being out and fairly visible on the internet there’s no way that a woman would ever agree to marry me if she had a problem with crossdressing, so in some ways it’s probably not a problem I’ll have to deal with, just by default. What maybe makes it a little more complicated is that unlike a lot of crossdressers who only like other women or other cds, I like to play around with guys too, especially when it comes to bondage games. So that’s inevitably going to shrink the potential pool of women who aren’t going to run shrieking from the room when they hear my full story. Sometimes I would like to have a partner (and I’ve only ever really fallen in love with “real” women), but I’m also such a loner and control freak that I’m ambivalent about ever making that kind of commitment with another person. It’s not out of the question but would have to be a very special situation. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been hearing from quite a few guys lately who are either married and closeted crossdressers whose wives don’t know, or who are in marriages where the wife doesn’t approve of the crossdressing and doesn’t want to hear about it, or who have wives who only partly tolerate it. And I find it kind of … Continue reading Marriage<\/span>