I’ve often felt a little uncomfortable in the world of Transgender Activism, since I basically consider myself “just” a crossdresser (I hate that word “just,” but you know what I mean), and so often crossdressers are somewhat looked down upon in that community. You’ll sometimes run across the not-so-subtle message that crossdressers are okay but we really wish you were all “serious” transsexuals like the rest of us. To be fair, I really can’t make a blanket generalization, as many – probably most – transsexuals are very cool and friendly, but the bias does seem to come up more often than one would hope for.<\/p>\n
But if I’m totally honest I have to admit that I’ve never ever had the feeling of being “a woman trapped in a man’s body.” It’s not even close. I certainly have persistent transgender urges, but they show up more in just wishing that I were female, but never actually feeling that I really am a woman inside. I’ve always known I’m a guy, even if I’m not the most masculine guy out there. With my long-ish hair and tight jeans, a close friend recently described me as “metrosexual,” which I found pretty amusing but probably accurate. I mean, hell, I have blond highlights in my hair.<\/p>\n
But the main motivation for dressing, and definitely for doing bondage, is that it turns me on. That alone tells me that I’m not transsexual. It’s a sexual fetish and I’d be lying if I tried to deny it to make it more “acceptable.” One well-meaning friend years ago once said, “but you’re too good looking to be just a crossdresser.” I guess that’s flattering but logically it makes no sense at all. And, well, I’ve always had a hard time with compliments anyway ;-)<\/p>\n
One other area that’s tricky for me is that many people in the local BDSM scene refer to me as Sandra, or as “she,” whether I’m dressed or not. Again, it’s flattering of them to do that, but it always makes me a bit uncomfortable. I think because I do look a little androgynous in my day to day presentation many people just assume I am transsexual or heading into transition, even though I’m not. To be honest, when I’m in guy mode I would actually prefer to just be called Robert, but I don’t push the point, since it’s a burden to insist on two names depending on one’s style of dress. So I’m kind of resigned to always being called Sandra in that community, regardless of how I’m presenting myself. Again, the androgyny is part of the problem. Some people, I’m guessing, just aren’t completely sure when I’m in boy mode, though it feels pretty obvious to me. If I’m not wearing makeup it’s a pretty safe bet that it’s okay to call me Robert. Also, to be fair, I assume many people in the scene don’t even know what my male name is, so I obviously can’t object to that. It would just feel really tedious to me, though, to go around correcting people on my name all the time, since honestly most people probably don’t care that much, nor should they. I know my own attitude has always been, just give me your name and I’ll use it, but multiple names to be used at different times does seem like a bit much. I wish it weren’t so, but alas…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve often felt a little uncomfortable in the world of Transgender Activism, since I basically consider myself “just” a crossdresser (I hate that word “just,” but you know what I mean), and so often crossdressers are somewhat looked down upon in that community. You’ll sometimes run across the not-so-subtle message that crossdressers are okay but … Continue reading “Just” a Crossdresser<\/span>