I was feeling a little under the weather tonight, so I spent the evening watching the 2003 remake of that holiday classic, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” It’s really a vile and sadistic movie, but if you like the horror genre, it’s actually quite good in a “guilty pleasures” sort of way. It has really great cinematography and sets and atmosphere. Years ago I briefly worked on a few low-budget movies, so when I see something like that I always think of all the people in the art department who must have worked fourteen-hour days making rotting jawbones and crucified dolls, and all the poor people splashing buckets of fake blood around. There was also dripping water everyone. It must have been a grind putting it all together. But if you like that sort of thing it’s worth checking out. Good acting too.
A few days ago I had a great time on the webcam with Binder G. After tying me to my chair he began to wrap scarves around my face, adding layers and layers of gags and blindfolds, and finally wrapping plastic wrap over everything, leaving just my nose sticking out. He did a great mind-fuck on me, threatening to suffocate me with plastic wrap or with his hands over my nose. I had to really concentrate on relaxing to not get freaked out and into a panic.
Last night I was here working on the computer and I heard these loud “pop, pop, pop” sounds. I was thinking, those crazy kids and their fireworks! Then I heard all this loud aggressive shouting and after a few minutes saw the colored lights from the black and whites reflected on my curtains. The cops put up their caution tape all down the block and were out there looking for shells till two in the morning. I don’t know if anyone got hurt but apparently someone was pissed. I love this city but it can really be messed up sometimes.
I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, because I love the attention, but I can’t keep up with Yahoo 360! I’m happy to talk to everyone but I know that I neglect a lot of the messages and friend requests because there are so many of them. I’m sure I’m also neglecting my regular email too. So if I’m forgetting anyone, please forgive me, it’s really not personal. It’s just that my inbox runneth over…
It’s weird how TG admirers – guys who like t-girls – get such a bad rap. I sort of understand why – I’ve been to clubs where some guy who’s been drinking too much paws me and breathes in my face and generally acts unpleasant. But I often see postings online that seem to have a real disdain for admirers and I don’t really know why. I sometimes wonder, is there some residual self-hatred that we t-girls project onto these guys? I don’t know, but the attitude I sometimes see reminds me of that Groucho Marx line about not wanting to belong to a club that would have me as a member. Actually most of the time I enjoy the attention I get from guys when I’m out at the clubs, unless it’s especially gross or pushy. And I find that being with a guy romantically makes me feel so femme, which I just love. He’s the man and I get to be the object of desire. It’s not PC to say so but I love that feeling of being held, possessed, used and under his control.
It seems sometimes that self bondage gets put down as being not real or somehow less valid than doing bondage with another person. But I’ve always found it just really sexy in and of itself. I have done self bondage sometimes when I didn’t have anyone to tie me up, but I’ve also done it many times when I was just in the mood for a good self tie. The heightened sense of danger, which is very real – people do make mistakes and accidentally hurt or kill themselved doing self bondage – really does add to the thrill. I know it’s risky, and that some people will say I’m not being “safe, sane and consensual” in doing it. Hell, I’ve even sworn in the past many times that I would never do it again…but it ain’t gonna happen. I know myself too well. That idea of getting in over my head has always been a turn on. Even if I had dozens of tie-up partners, I’d still have the desire to do self bondage from time to time. And now that I have this webcam going it’s gotten even better – having people watch while I’m doing something that’s risky, intimate, and potentially humiliating. Just another pleasant evening at home.
I checked out the movie “SAW” tonight and have to say it was really good. I won’t give anything away but as a horror movie it has all kinds of great twists and turns, a terrific ending, and some really sick stuff along the way. These two guys are chained by their ankles in a nasty bathroom somewhere and they have a hacksaw that’s useless on the chains, but could be used to chop off a limb and escape. Hmm, what to do? There are also a few moments with a mother and daughter tied up and cleave gagged – The bondage isn’t that great but the movie itself is very very good and really creepy. Kind of reminded me of “Seven.”
Apparently it was made by two really young dudes who wanted to make a low-budget movie and started out with the inexpensive idea of two guys trapped in a room. On the ‘making of’ reel, the director looked like he was about 24 years old – pretty damn impressive. “SAW” Website