A couple days ago I got dressed in my more casual daytime look and drove down to West Hollywood for the Transgender Day of Remembrance memorial service. This was the third one I’ve been to and obviously they’re always sad and rather depressing, honoring and reading the names of trans people who were killed over the course of the year. It was a nice service with some really talented musical performers and I saw quite a few people whom I know, but it did go on a bit long. I hate to sound negative, but I found myself inevitably comparing it to the service I heard last year in Colorado Springs (my old hometown), which seemed to hit all the right notes in just under an hour. I’m glad I went though and showed my support for the community.

I also wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here in the States who celebrated today. The memorial earlier in the week is always very sobering but I do try to remind myself just how good I have it, especially to have friends and family who care for me, and all the many members and great people I’ve worked with over the years who support my website. I’m sure I’ll write more later but I’ll admit it’s been a pretty good year. Of course I have the kind of personality that’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop but I do remind myself to be grateful. I know so many people for whom things are so much worse, especially some of the crossdressers who sometimes write, feeling very alone with their gender feelings and their kinks and lifestyle. I can relate to a lot of what I’ve heard over the years, of course, and wish peace of mind and lots of fun to everyone out there. It can be tough but sometimes it can also be pretty darn fabulous!

So last Saturday my friends Ronda and Krystle and I went to this crazy haunted house in downtown L.A. called Blackout. Delilah had told me about it earlier but had to attend the week before and refused to comment about it afterwards, which was for the best as it only increased my anxiety level. In fact, if you’re in NYC or L.A. and ever want to go, you probably should skip this post as it is best to go in with as little input as possible. It was a lot of fun although the build up and anticipation were probably 60 percent of the experience. It’s billed as an “extreme” haunted house, where you walk through alone, sign a waiver beforehand, and have the option of using a safeword if you get too freaked out. All this, along with the creepy waiting area beforehand where horrible white noise is cranked out at an unnerving volume left me feeling very unsure about the whole thing as we nervously waited in line.

Ronda and I both dressed in our schoolgirl outfits (sorry, no good pictures to show) and we were warned by the serious guy greeting us that our outfits might be trashed by the end of it. But there was no turning back so we continued on. Once inside it was quite disorienting and creepy, with minutes left standing in pitch dark (very effective) and getting dragged along from room to room by unseen hands. There was a lot of physical contact, nakedness and touching (though I was really hoping to be seriously groped!) and there’s definitely a sexual undercurrent to much of it, including some bondage and a couple girls with tape over their mouths (loved those rooms!) Also for any straight guys who have insecurities about their sexuality this is definitely NOT for them! I had a great time and felt so relaxed and giggly when it was over after the release of all that tension. My biggest fear was that I might safeword out of it but once I was in for the ride I knew that I’d make it through okay regardless of what happened. Actually they could have ramped up the intensity a few more notches and I would have gladly paid even more. It was a fun night, and with the West Hollywood street party just a few days beforehand it turned out to be a great Halloween!

My friend Kim and I had a great time the other night at the super-gay West Hollywood Halloween party. This is the second time that I’ve gone and getting there early is really the way to do it, as things only get more packed and crazy the later it goes. They estimated about 400,000 people this year on Santa Monica Blvd. It’s good fun just walking around and checking out the show, and although wearing low heels is not as sexy, it really is a must. Last year I made the mistake of wearing four inch heels (yeah, I know four inches ain’t that high, but try walking on pavement for three hours in them and you’ll be in real agony).

There were lots of lovely ladies out too – it seems almost all commercially made women’s costumes are required to be prefixed with the word “sexy.” And I got lots of lingering eye contact from many guys as I strolled along in my sissy maid’s outfit. (I have no idea what was possibly going through their minds.) One guy came up with a friend and wanted to take a picture and I found myself suddenly in an intimate full-body hug. It was one of those, “Wow, I’m Really being hugged” moments. Oh, also the guys with the Aztec themed costume below do an amazing job. Last year they did the L.A. County Morgue set-up. Definitely worth a visit if you’re in SoCal this time of year.