Things I’d Like To Do

Being in a more reflective mood lately, here are some things I’d like to do while I’m still here on planet earth. In no particular order:

— Go bungee jumping, especially at this place.

— Do a tandem skydive.

— Hike from the Santa Monica pier to Rancho Palos Verdes along the coast. I think it’s about 20 miles.

— Meet and get together with more bondage tops. Not to complain, but you’d think living in a big city it would be really easy to find bondage tops who are into damsel in distress style bondage and like to tie up trannies. But my experience has actually been that they’re quite hard to find.

My preference when I play is to be tied up by guys, though of course I’m flexible and open to possibilities. I hear from lots of guys who aren’t into bondage and who just want me to give them a blowjob. And while I’m not really looking for sex, to be honest I’m sometimes open to some sexual contact with the right person and under safe conditions. But when you hear, “Oh, yeah, I guess I’d be willing to try out the bondage thing,” that’s pretty much a deal killer. If someone’s just not into it, no amount of explaining from me is going to make it work.

I sometimes wonder if guys are intimidated about writing me, since I run my website and teach a bondage class. But really I always try to be nice and polite. If we don’t click it’s not a big deal and I’m never cruel about saying no. Believe me, though, I really want to say yes. It just seems that finding the right “fit” is pretty tough. Not sure why but I sometimes wonder if it’s me or something I’m doing. Okay, that was a long few paragraphs.

— Go to Europe for a few weeks. The only countries I’ve been to outside the US are Canada and Mexico, so I’d love to spend some time in Europe, especially the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy (I’d love to see Rome and Venice) and, heck, just about anyplace else. To be honest, I’d love to trade out my bondage and/or photography services in exchange for staying for a few days with different hosts on the Continent, as there’s no way I could afford numerous nights in hotels. With obvious safety precautions, I’d gladly tie someone up, or be someone’s bondage pet (it’s not like you’d have to force me too hard), in exchange for a stay in a guestroom or on a sofa. No harm in puttin’ it out there ;-)

— Spend a few nights at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

— Go to Tokyo and visit one of the clubs where they do Japanese Rope Bondage shows.

— Go to Antarctica while the ice is still there.

— Ask a bunch of women who are way out of my league for their phone numbers and get shot down. This would scare the crap out of me but I think it would be such a liberating thing to do.

— Start a second website, especially one involving beautiful genetic women in bondage with trannies. Maybe me tying them up and sometimes getting tied up with them. Now that would be fun.

— Visit New York City again, stay a few nights in Manhattan, dress and go to some of the clubs.

— Walk across the Mojave Desert, or Death Valley. I’ll probably never do this, as I could easily die, but it would be really amazing to pull off.

— Own one of those coin operated car wash places. What a great business that would be. Just sit back and watch the money come in.

— Sleep in a coffin. Probably with the lid open – I wouldn’t want to really suffocate and die in there.

— Speaking of coffins, I’d love to do a bondage scene for a photoshoot involving a coffin, or being boarded up in a basement, or more simply – being tied up and stuffed into a car trunk or packing trunk. Or maybe tied up and left in a cave with a couple torches burning for illumination. Or tied up and lowered down into a dry well. Or tied up and left in the hayloft of a barn. Or maybe stuck inside one of those storage containers on the bottoms of those big 18-wheeler trucks. Or tied up and placed in a large clear glass cylinder with a timer on the side indicating the amount of air left…The options are endless…

— Along similar lines, videotape for the website a long overnight kidnapping session, with the actual abduction, tying up, transport in a car trunk, transfer to a secluded warehouse, menacing at the hands of the abductors, and eventual abandonment on an old mattress with a chain and shackles secured to the ankles so that the poor girl (me!) can’t escape. Fun and potentially scary…

Well, that’s just a few things. It’s a fun exercise to think about things like this. When you get in the mindset the possibilities just keep coming. What do you dream of doing? I’m sure I’ll come up with more later for a future post.

Modern Medicine

I’ve been back in L.A. for a couple days now. Thanks again to everyone who had a good thought for my family and me. My mother surprised all the doctors and is on the road to recovery – she’s a pretty tough cookie. It was good to be in Atlanta with her during her ordeal, and it’s also nice to be back home.

One thing that struck me while I was visiting in the hospital – something everyone knows – is how good modern medicine has become at keeping people alive, and the dilemma it can make for the family. I’m grateful that my Mom recovered, but if she hadn’t, then at some point someone would have had to make the decision to pull the plug, and since my parents are divorced, unfortunately that someone would have been me and my brother.

It’s amazing that they can put a tube down someone’s throat and take over their breathing for them, but seeing someone on a ventilator is pretty gruesome. They keep you sedated while on it, so that you won’t “fight” against the tube, but they can’t keep a person sedated for long periods without medical consequences. So every few days they bring the sedation up and the person starts to become aware of their discomfort, sometimes feeling that they’re choking and not getting enough air, even though they are. It can be uncomfortable at best and hellish at worst.

Seeing this first hand I got to thinking what would I want if I ever got really sick. I think if I were still relatively young and caught something like, say, a really virulent flu bug, and had to be on a vent for a few days with a good chance that I’d recover and be back to normal – in that case, I’d probably want to go through with it. But if I were old and getting to the end, I’m not sure I’d want to experience the fear and discomfort of it. I’ll definitely have to look into making a living will or getting something in writing. Modern medicine is really amazing but it’s gotten so good that it can be a blessing and a curse.

Not that anyone’s asking my advice, but if you have family, I’d definitely talk to them about this stuff and about what they would want if they ended up on life support. Would they want to be on a ventilator or have their heart re-started if it were to stop? This incident with my mother happened so quickly that it took all of us by surprise and we were all sitting there wondering if she would really want to be going through this or not. Thankfully it worked out well for everyone involved, but it could have been much more wrenching than it was.

Back to Atlanta

It’s been a strange day. I had to fly out to Atlanta again yesterday, as my Mom had a health emergency on Friday and ended up in the ICU. She’s been sick for several years and things finally took a much more serious turn. It’s hard to say how long I’ll be here, but it’s good to be with my Dad and take some of the pressure off him. We don’t know if my mother is going to recover or not but the medical care here at the hospital is amazing. The nurse was telling me that 15 years ago she saw people die in the hospital much more often than they do now. The big difference being that with the technology they have, they can keep someone alive so much longer and have much more control as to when they will die, if death is inevitable.

Of course, the Friday updates will continue as usual on the website. I love this service. I could basically travel anywhere and keep working on my home computer over the internet.

In any case, if things don’t turn out well I might have to go back to L.A. for a while and then come back to Atlanta yet again to deal with things. If you’re a person who prays, have a good thought for my family.

Mouth Stuffing

I had a terrific photoshoot the other day with Delilah. She’s had a lot of changes in her life lately – all good things – so I haven’t been able to see her as often as we used to, but she was able to get away for a few hours and shoot some pictures of me for the site. I always love being tied up by Delilah. She’s really good at it and always does it extra severe.

Lately, I’ve been playing around with heavier gags, doing more full mouth stuffing. Years ago I never even stuffed my mouth when I was gagged, but I’ve gotten hooked on the heavy stuffing and gotta have it now. Of course, the risk of choking is very high with this kind of gag. So if you do heavy gagging, be sure to be extra careful and monitor your “victim” closely. I can say from experience that if you ever have someone tied and gagged and they start to choke on you, it’ll scare the wits out of you like you’ve never known! Not a fun occurence. I tend to panic and freak out easily myself, which is probably why heavy gags are such a thrill and turn on for me. There’s that fine line to walk – being turned on versus being truly scared.

This set of pictures was a big turn on for me, as I really had to watch my breathing and keep my wits about me. There was a very large thick scarf tightly wadded up and shoved deeply into my mouth and then a long thin scarf used as a cleave gag to hold the wadding in place. I actually had to work my way up to the wadded-up mouth-stuffing scarf – six months ago I probably couldn’t have taken it all in. The cleave gag that holds it in place was long enough to be wrapped several times around my head and Delilah pulled it extra tight. You can see how it contorts my face in a very uncomfortable way. I always love pictures like this where the girl appears to be in some very real distress and where it’s apparent that she really is gagged and unable to speak. Here are a couple sample shots and I’ll post the full set later tomorrow for the next Members’ Area update on the website.

Email Apologies

I apologize to everyone whom I might owe an email to. I’ve been really bad at keeping up with my email and MySpace page lately, so I know I’ve been neglecting a lot of friends out there – probably worse so than normal, and I’m sure that over the years I’ve probably missed or forgotten to respond to hundreds of emails. I hope in the past I haven’t pissed off too many people but I’m sure there’s been at least a few. It’s nothing personal, of course.

I actually found much of January a bit challenging emotionally, as I had the usual post holiday blues pretty hard this year. So I’m looking forward to February being a lot better in the emotions department. That’s not an excuse or anything, just what’s been going on chez Sandra. I did do a lot of shooting, though, in January and have a shoot in San Diego tomorrow that I’m looking forward to. Hopefully I’ll have more news soon.