This weekend was just too much. Saturday was the TransGiving Event, where I had a part in the Glamour Boutique Fashion Show. I heard later that the response to the show was quite good, but my own performance falls somewhere between bad dream and fiasco. Delilah and I were supposed to do a bondage routine, with Delilah tying me up for a while and then both of us continuing on with some more subdued bondage play in the background while the models walked the runway up front.

I was supposed to walk down a few stairs onto the stage with my hands tied together in front – probably not such a swell idea in retrospect. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and couldn’t see a thing. I thought I was down all the steps, but misjudged them by one, and nearly took a nose dive right onto the stage, letting out a gasp as I stumbled and nearly went down. Talk about humiliation. But it gets even better. I just barely kept on my feet and continued on, walking with shaky legs across the stage. Just a few feet away there were several speakers set up on stage, but the electrical cords for them hadn’t been taped down to the floor. So about five seconds after nearly going kersplat on the stairs, my foot catches a cord and over goes one of the speakers, crashing onto the stage – BOOM! It had to be one of the most humiliating experiences I’ve had in a very long time.

Delilah was doing a good job soldiering on, but by this point I’d nearly lost my will to live. The entire time I was onstage I felt like the supreme idiot of the room. When that speaker fell over I just wanted to stop and say, “Okay, let’s just call it quits, shall we?” But of course you can’t. I bore the discomfort, did as well as I could to continue on, and got off the stage with my cheeks burning.

There’s something to be said about embarrassment. It does serve to ground you and remind you of just how shaky our illusion of control is – it just stings so bad at the time.

In any case, I was completely deflated after my “performance,” so I didn’t stay for much more – just gathered up my stuff, gave a ride home to a friend, and slinked back to my bungalow. I read the paper in bed for a while and turned in early, with an empty feeling of, “I can’t believe that actually happened…”

It was only after a good night’s sleep that I can look at it now and see the humor. It really was one for the books, and I start giggling every time I think about that speaker crashing down. I’m just thankful I didn’t sprain an ankle or anything. I almost wish it had been videotaped, but it’s probably best that it wasn’t or I’d have to post the damn thing online.

So this morning, after a quick jog to clear my head, I got ready for the bondage workshop, thinking, “Well, today can’t be worse than last night.” And yes, thankfully it went pretty well. I was a little nervous at first, but got into the swing of it as we went on. It was a fairly good turnout too for this being the first time, maybe fifteen to twenty people. I knew that I wouldn’t have to maneuveur any stairs or speakers in five inch heels, so compared to last night it was a breeze. Now I have to come up with something good for next month – maybe some chest harnesses and crotchropes.

After all that, I’m looking forward to the boredom of a lazy Memorial Day Monday.

It’s been a busy week, but I finally put up some basic bondage techniques pages on my site, in preparation for the workshop that I’m giving on Sunday. Someone said that we teach what we need to learn. So true, just the process of sitting down and trying to explain my own ways of doing things (and I’m no expert by any means), has really helped with my tying. I know I’ve gotten faster just the last couple months.

I’ll report back how it went, and hopefully I won’t pass out or anything.

It was a pretty busy weekend of kinky fun. Friday night I went out to Club Fantasy and got laced up in a heavy leather straight jacket by my friend Paul, and then later my new friend Wendy stopped by and she ended up getting locked up in heavy chains and cuffs. My favorite moment was when we were both forced to squeeze into this little cage that you can only stand in. We were standing back to back and could hardly move at all. At the end of the night, Paul added the heaviest, strictest hood I’d ever seen. It was made out of hardened leather and totally cut off my sight and speech. All I could hear was this whining sound as my breathing went in and out of these tiny holes at the nose area. At one point I was thinking, “What if someone slipped you a mickey and later you woke up wearing all this gear?” I would completely freak out. As it was, I had to keep telling myself to relax and focus on my breathing. It was like being entombed.

Then Saturday night Delilah and I spent the evening at Dragon’s Gate in Orange County. Delilah practiced some tying on me, lashing me to a pole, and later doing a nice hogtie. We’re supposed to take part in the TransGiving fashion show, next weekend, though at this point I’m not sure what to expect from it. I just saw on their site that it’ll have “explicit sexual content.” Say what?

I also chatted with LadyBadger for a while. She keeps the best Yahoo Group of kinky events in the area.

Later in the medical room, there were two girls doing something evil to some guy, but what really caught my attention was the beautiful black and white dress one of the girls was wearing. It was kind of a 1950s style vintage number with really nice details. The dress itself was the sexiest thing in the entire dungeon and I thoroughly coveted it.

I love this…

Wow, it looks like it’s official. I just got an email notification of the rope bondage workshop I’m giving at the end of the month. I’m a little nervous but looking forward to it. Deep breaths.

Rope Bondage Workshop with Sandra Gibbons

Sunday May 28, 2006
4:00 pm – 6:00 pm
This event repeats on the last Sunday of every month.
The next reminder for this event will be sent in 5 days.
Event Location: Hollywoodland Studios
Street: 11300 Hartland St.
City, State, Zip: N. Hollywood, CA 91605
Notes:
Open to all interested members of the BDSM Community. Join Sandra to learn the basics as well as some new tricks! $5 for Threshold members and affiliates, $10 for non members

I heard this today on NPR and it’s pretty amusing. This guy was at the BBC to interview for an IT job (elsewhere reported as being a cabbie) and was mistaken for an expert on internet music downloading. Next thing he knows he’s on air being interviewed. His reaction is priceless.

Site with the video

NPR Article

Last night’s webcam self-bondage session was a big challenge. I stayed tied up for over 3 1/2 hours, using rope and shiny electrical tape for a gag. For my wrists I used handcuffs with the usual ice cube trick, using 26 cubes this time. That sounds like a lot, but I’ve found that once you reach a certain number it doesn’t seem to add that much more time. The difference between, say, one cube and three cubes is huge, but when you start using more there’s less impact per cube. Last time, when I used ten ice cubes it took about three hours to melt, and now this time with 26 cubes, it only took 3 1/2 hours. Of course, I’m sure the room was a bit warmer, what with summer being right around the corner. To really make it last longer, I’d have to use larger ice cubes, say, a small dixie cup or something like that frozen solid.

Okay, enough geeky talk about ice cubes. The session itself was really tough to endure. After about an hour into it I was thinking, Oh my, this is a bitch. Here are some pictures:

It was pretty cool seeing Julie Simone up at Threshold over the weekend. I’ve been a big fan for years and she put on a nice bondage demo. I find her pretty intimidating but finally worked up the courage to go talk to her afterwards and she was really nice. She has a real quiet and mysterious manner about her, which just adds to her appeal for me.

Later that night, I stayed for the party at Threshold and had a fun time tying up some friends. There were a lot of familiar faces. Kelli and I tied up Beverly in a nice chair tie. She looked fabulous in her 1950s-style wool suit. And then we all went to work on a really sweet and cute Asian girl named Wendy (whom I’d been emailing the last week or so). She looked so cute all tied up with hemp rope and a leather blindfold and gag. I was beat at the end of the evening, but in a good way.

It’s been a busy few days here with no blogging at all. But I’ve been dreaming about doing another long-term self bondage session and it looks like I finally have some time late Sunday afternoon, after all the Hallmark Holiday stuff (that’s kind of creepy, isn’t it?)

Anyway, I’ll be starting around 5:00 PM Pacific Time and I’ll post some links on the site once I get going.

I just found out that the amazing Julie Simone is going to be giving a bondage presentation this Saturday, May 13 at the Hollywoodland Studios in the San Fernando Valley. If you’re even remotely into bondage and are in the Los Angeles area, you’ve got to come see this. She is amazing. The first time I saw her tying someone on a DVD I was blown away. She’s so fast, precise, in control, and with zero hestitation. And she’s totally hot too. I’m really looking forward to this one.

Here’s some details re-posted from a Yahoo Group:

NEXT Saturday, May 13

SM101: Julie Simone shows Carlos the Ropes

Saturday, May 13 at 5 p.m.
Hollywoodland Studios
11300 Hartland St.
North Hollywood, CA

Admission: $5 for members; $10 for guests

My friend Miki and I had been occasionally emailing each other for the last year or two and we finally had the chance to meet and had a great time.

Sometimes when you do a lot of bondage, taking pictures and so on, it can become kind of routine. But it was really nice getting tied up with Miki. We switched back and forth and she started out getting me tied up on her bed. For some reason, everything just came together and the feel of her touch was like electricity, sending me deep down into my happy place. I’d been feeling a bit bummed out the last day or two and really needed that.

Later in the week, last night, we went to Mistress Cyan’s dungeon in the San Fernando Valley. I hadn’t been there in several years, so it was really nice to see some familiar faces again after all this time. I’m such a shameless exhibitionist and had a really fun time tying Miki up over and over again with this great new hemp rope I recently got from Twisted Monk.