A couple people have asked me recently about an earlier post where I mentioned how it seems that people who are into damsel in distress style bondage are really in the minority in the BDSM scene, where bondage itself is a small minority interest. One friend asked, “What are the bondage people into if they’re not into DID-style bondage?” I’ve gone on about this before but it does seem in the BDSM scene that Shibari, or Japanese bondage, has really become the dominant style in the last few years, especially in the BDSM clubs and dungeons. It often seems when I go out to the clubs anymore that Shibari is what you see when you see bondage (other than cuffs and leather restraints) and that good ol’ damsel in distress style bondage has become much more scarce in comparison.

My guess for this is that damsel in distress bondage is often the style that bondage fetishists (such as me) favor, whereas Shibari seems much less fetishistic, and fetishists in general often seem to be a minority at the BDSM clubs anyway, where Dominance/submission play (D/s) and Master and slave relationships are so often the main focus. And in that environment I think Shibari fits right in as a form of aesthetic bondage that’s difficult to learn and thereby sets one apart as a bad-ass top for those who go to the trouble to learn it. I’m sure many would disagree with me and say that Shibari has just as much of a fetishistic charge to it, but I just don’t see it – which I grant may just mean that it’s not my fetish ;-) But one of the things that bewilders me the most about Shibari is that so often the girls aren’t even gagged. Now I know that for bondage fetishists the gag is oftentimes the main focus of the whole thing. I’ve lost count of how many bondage lovers I’ve heard say “It ain’t bondage if there’s no gag.” And I would totally agree – I mean, what’s the point otherwise?

I remember there was a big day-long bondage demo in L.A. several months ago and I was struck by how all the presenters, and I think there were seven or eight, all of them were doing Shibari and not a single one was doing DID-style bondage. I didn’t even bother going after that. And again, I totally get how difficult Shibari is and how people devote years of study to it. But I just find it way too cold and clinical and lacking in any fetishistic “bondage charge.” I think I have a folder on my computer with maybe twenty Shibari pictures that I’ve seen over the years that I find a turn on, and of course probably thousands from all the damsel in distress bondage sites that I’ve joined (way too many!)

Anyway, just another rant and I’m sure I’ll be back at it again before too long. I don’t hate Shibari – I just wish it hadn’t taken over and become THE style of bondage at the clubs. What I really like about FetishCon, on the other hand, is that it’s one of the main events that’s still focused on damsel in distress bondage, so even though I’m a crossdresser at least I don’t feel like I’m completely out of the loop there! I’m definitely looking forward to it in August and seeing friends whom I haven’t seen in way too long!

I had a really nice shoot recently with a very cute girl named Kali who has a terrific secretary look – my favorite! We shot a couple sets of pictures and I’ll post the full set of this one for this week’s update on Friday, where she ends up as a helpless secretary bound, cleave gagged, then OTM gagged on top of that and blindfolded too! We had a great time and it was very sexy getting her into the ropes and gags ;-)

I went out the other evening, just in boy mode, to one of the local “munches” – where a bunch of kinky people get together in a restaurant for dinner. It’s all very non-kinky and a good way to meet people in a very low pressure environment. I actually met my last two girlfriends at munches, not that I go out trolling, but you never know who you might meet. Of course, most of the time it’s some chit chat and a meal and that’s it, which is fine too. Well, it was definitely one of the latter kinds of evenings but I’m trying to take my own advice and go out to events, whether I enjoy them or not, as eventually if you do it enough you start to make contacts. Sometimes it feels like I make contacts in spite of myself, as I can be pretty shy and tongue tied when I first meet people.

One discouraging thing about the BDSM scene in general, I’ve found – and this is in any city, not just Denver – is that people who are into damsel in distress style bondage are a very tiny minority, and then being a crossdresser makes it an even tinier minority. So sometimes I get to feeling like why even bother going, but again it sometimes pays off if you go out enough.

Anyway, not the most exciting blog post here but it is tough starting again in another city, although I do have some history here. Actually most of the potential models and photographers I’ve been talking to have not really been that big in the BDSM scene, but are generally more just people who are familiar with my site and write me. Or people from Fetlife, who know me there and see that I’m now in Denver.

Hopefully I’ll have more exciting news as time goes on. In the meantime the picture taking continues on :-)

A lovely girl named Tiffany recently contacted me and we had a really nice shoot the other day. She wears a corset which gave her this amazing tiny waist in this tight green dress. I also love how she looks in the metal collar and the dangley earrings. I’ll be posting the full set of these pictures late tonight or early Friday, where she gets tied up, vetwrap gagged, and then finally pantyhose hooded and taped. She’s a very busy girl but I look forward to hopefully shooting again with Tiffany before too long. She was a lot of fun and it was terrific rendering her completely bound and helpless! ;-)

Well, I’m slowly getting more settled in and unpacked from my most recent move here on the west side of Denver. It was certainly way easier than the drive out from California. I think the new apartment will work out pretty well and I’m looking forward to doing some shooting here. Things have been going okay but it seems like so much time has been spent apartment hunting and running errands and just trying to stay on top of things. I’d really like to start having more fun this summer. I’ll have to work on that.

A nice girl from Poland recently wrote me and let me know that she translated my bio into her language and posted it on her blog related to transgendered issues. Wow, that was a lot of effort, I’m sure, but it looks pretty neat, and it’s very flattering that she went to all that trouble. I hope it’ll be of interest to her readers.