Having Fun in Colorado

I’ve been having a great time in Colorado and am getting some good mountain climbing in. Yesterday I went up the West Spanish Peak with a good friend. It’s about 13,600 feet, so the air is really thin, but I love the dead silence when you’re up there and the view for miles all around. I’m going to try to tackle Pikes Peak, which is a bitch, on Tuesday.

It’ll be good to get back to L.A., though, later next week and get back to getting my ass tied up. I’ll be craving it good ;-)

Off to Colorado

Well, with the summer almost over, I’m off to Colorado tomorrow for a visit back home. I’m really looking forward to it as this year has been sort of challenging emotionally. It’s always great to hang out with my friend K. and see the old hometown. I’ll still have email access while I’m away but it’ll be a little spotty. So I’ll be off at 3:00 AM to the Ontario, California, airport, which is much more relaxed than LAX. One of my favorite things in life, which sounds pretty dull really, is reading in airports and on planes. While you’re up in the sky I love that feeling of life being on hold. I’ve read nearly entire books curled up in the window seat and just drifting along. Of course, every now and then I’ll have an image of some airline catastrophe flash through my mind, though of course driving the L.A. freeways is way more dangerous.

Oh, before I go, just off to this afternoon’s Rope Bondage Workshop – doing basic bondage, which is one of my favorite presentations.

New Shoot with Kyra

A couple days ago I got together with Kyra at the local Best Western to shoot some new pictures and we had a great time. I love the sleaze factor of motel rooms and Kyra played up the schoolgirl in trouble angle perfectly (not a real schoolgirl, of course! We’re just talking fantasy here.) Here are a couple preview shots to enjoy. Note the long plaid skirt that gets trimmed down while she’s wearing it. I’ll likely post the full set next Friday.

Break Ups on This America Life

I listen to the NPR radio program This American Life a lot when I’m working on the computer and this week they have a terrific show on Breaking Up. (You can actually listen to it online, just click on the ‘Full Episode’ link under the picture of Stevie Nicks.) The best part was the opening segment and the first story where writer Starlee Kine writes her own break up song and plays it over the phone for Phil Collins, who’s actually very cool and down to earth.

I’ve got to say I’m a total sucker for reliving the misery and yearning of break ups. I haven’t had that many really close relationships over the years, but there are a few, including with women that I’m thankfully still friends with, that I’ve never really gotten over completely. And it is interesting how it’s only women that I’ve gotten smitten over. I’ve played around with quite a few guys and other crossdressers, especially with the bondage play, but when it comes to “relationships,” I’ve only ever fallen in love with women. But I sometimes feel more and more like it’s kind of a lost cause in terms of ever making a serious relationship ever really work out. I’m definitely a bit gun shy about trying again, and frankly it’s not that often that I meet anyone with whom I’d really like to.

I know when I was younger I could become smitten and infatuated just like that, but now it just doesn’t seem to come so easily. Maybe it’s just getting jaded or pulling back to protect myself against any future hurt. But I’ve definitely wallowed in all the cliches and pathetic behavior that they mention in this radio show – feeling that one’s emotions and experiences are so unique and profound, when in fact everyone goes through break ups, everyone’s been dumped, and in fact all relationships break up until you find one that doesn’t (to paraphrase Dan Savage). And then there’s that feeling that you’ll never get over the pain and that in a twisted way you sort of don’t want to get over it. The pain feels big and meaningful and life can feel so small and pointless in comparison that it’s almost better to swirl it around in your mouth and savor it for all you can get.

It’s funny but when they played part of that Phil Collins’ song “Against All Odds,” my eyes still start to fill with tears. Which is ridiculous. It’s a really corny song but still very effective. I’ve always been a pushover for stuff like that.

And speaking of pointlessness: There’s also a good article on the Newsweek website about Woody Allen’s new film and his ongoing obsession with the futility and randomness of life: “At 72, he says he still lies awake at night, terrified of the void.” Well, as they say, he has been consistent in his views.

Club Fantasy Attendance Way Low

Here’s a post I put up on the Ts in Trouble Yahoo Group about the Club Fantasy parties. The attendance has been really low and I hope we’re not nearing the end:

I don’t want to sound alarmist or anything, but we need you for the next Club Fantasy party on Friday, August 15th. Attendance has been really off for the last couple parties and I’m not sure if it’s due to the summer heat or the fact that I was gone in June – I know I don’t have that much influence ;-) But in any case, I know if the numbers continue to be low we’ll have to give up the venue to another group. So if you’re able to come on out on a Friday, come on out!

Also, if the parties just don’t work for you for whatever reason, feel free to write me offlist or post here and let us know. You won’t hurt my feelings. I know we don’t have booze there, and there’s no sex at the clubhouse, and it only goes till midnight, and those may be serious problems for you. Or there may be something else that makes the parties a “no go” for you – maybe they’re just boring (horrors!) So let us know – or just me offlist if you prefer.

Club Fantasy Party Info.

In any case, I hope to see you on the 15th. I’ll be bringing rope as usual and hope to get tied up or do some tying…Hope to see you there…Hugs, Sandra