I had a really nice time at Bizarre Bazaar last Sunday and just got a picture from Gerry, the official photographer (aka Fuckin’ Gerry). I love that guy, with his huge camera (it’s really huge!) He’s at all the Fetish events and doesn’t have even an ounce of inhibition (wish you could bottle and package that trait!) My feet were sore so I was just hanging out for a breather at the Threshold table. I also bought a couple of huge ballgags from Hottbonds. They’re so big they make my jaw ache, but I’ll have to try to shoot with them soon and not give myself even worse TMJ ;-) The venue, Bar Sinister, was a cool place too and I got to see a lot of friends and people whom I only seem to see about once a year. A fun afternoon.

I recently posted a new hogtie video on Trannies In Trouble and have already gotten some really good feedback from it. It has a lot of gagtalk and an especially strict hogtie at the very end. Probably what makes it good is that I was really suffering when we made it and I think it shows. In fact I was even thinking of signaling to the cameraman to call it a day, but it’s probably good that I pushed on and endured ;-) At one point I’m kind of stuck between the couch and wall (the second pic below) and I’m actually pretty annoyed while I try to get into a better position. I was trying to talk to the camera man but he had no idea. After a few tries I was able to dislodge myself and get onto the floor, which was only somewhat better. Then at the very end we modified the hogtie so that each wrist was tied directly to each ankle – ouch, that was a tough one! I was really struggling by this point and again tried to communicate, but with the layers of medical tape over my lips and the big wad in my mouth I wasn’t doing too well. All in all, it was a really stringent and difficult tie and made for a nice six minute video. We all have to suffer for our art!

I just wanted to mention that Threshold will be holding their yearly Bizarre Bazaar vendor’s event this Sunday, Nov. 15th from 12 noon to 6 pm at Bar Sinister in Hollywood, CA. I’m planning to be there most of the afternoon, so if you see me do say hi. I’m hoping to see a lot of familiar faces and meet some new friends. Hope to see you there!

Recently we shot some more pictures in this nice secretary outfit with my favorite red wig. Like I mentioned before there were some technical problems on the bondage pics we did a while back in this same outfit, though I’ll probably post some of them as a small future update. Here are a few extra non-bondage shots, though, from the recent shoot, and I’ll post the entire set, with some more tight elbow bondage and a strict modified hogtie, for Friday’s update. Enjoy!

Here’s an interesting article on how “Paranormal Activity” came out of limbo and got released.

Bummer – voters repealed Maine’s same-sex marriage law, almost exactly a year after the same thing happened in California. This time, though, is the first time actual legislation was rejected, as opposed to a court order. Very discouraging but the fight goes on – it’s not like it’s an issue that’s just going to go away.

I was at the dentist the other day, getting a filling replaced. The sound of the drill always makes me anxious, so in addition to a good shot of lidocaine, they also gave me some nitrous oxide, through a breathing device over my nose. Man, that stuff is weird and not particularly pleasant! Within moments of inhaling, I was experiencing tunnel vision, spots before my eyes and a feeling of slipping away from reality. After about five or ten minutes, I found it so unpleasant that I had to wave to the dentist and let him know that we could continue without the gas. I know a lot of people find it very relaxing and feel giddy with it, but it was making me even more anxious from the sense of loss of control (I don’t miss the irony too that I’m into bondage but have this deep sense of anxiety over losing control). I’d forgotten how strange nitrous is, but I do remember taking it once as a child, and the dentist’s face looked like it was three feet high, and I had a sensation of falling backwards into the dental chair, which was expanding like a big marshmallow to swallow me up. As a child, I didn’t have the confidence to say that’s enough, so at the time I just endured the weirdness.

I’ve always been very sensitive to drugs, which often made it hard for me to enjoy smoking pot when I would occasionally do it years ago. Sometimes it would be pleasant, but more often than not, I would get anxious and paranoid. Or I would have this experience where all my worst judgmental thoughts about others and my own deep doubts about myself would come to the forefront, as though they were hanging right there in front of my forehead and I couldn’t look away. Not a pleasant experience, so I never did pot that often, and haven’t done anything like that in quite a few years now.