Eddie Izzard has been in the news quite a bit lately, now using she / her pronouns and adding the name Suzy to her name: Suzy Eddie Izzard, though she’s taking a very relaxed and undemanding approach, saying people can use or not use the new name, still appearing publicly as Eddie, and saying people can use basically any pronouns they wish, which seems wise – “No one can really get it wrong.” I’ve been somewhat surprised too by the amount of grief that she gets on Twitter and social media, though I shouldn’t be, especially on Twitter, which is such a cesspool. I consider myself a fan, so I’ll admit I’m actually a bit relieved that she’s still fine with going by Eddie. I’m nowhere near her level of popularity, of course, but I think if I were to change or modify my own name a lot of people would say, “Oh, you’ll always be Sandra to us.”
In any case, probably around 2007, I got to see Eddie Izzard perform here in Los Angeles and it was a great show. A genetic woman I dated a couple times bought tickets for us. She knew all about my dressing. One early funny moment was when she thought that my website was an outreach service to trans people who truly were in trouble – homelessness, physical abuse, drug addiction, that sort of thing. I had to smile and explain what the website really was. I remember trying really hard not to laugh too much, but it was pretty funny! Maybe once the time comes to retire from bondage, I’ll rebrand the whole thing and begin my new career as a social worker!
For some reason, the night of the show I just went in boring “Robert” mode. Looking back, it was pretty stupid not to dress up – I mean, hell, it was Eddie Izzard, though at the same time she too was performing in boy mode that evening. And I was still nervous about going out dressed back then. It was a great show and she’s such a likeable person, which makes the grief she’s been getting online even more depressing – though when you step into politics (she recently unsuccessfully ran for Parliament), things are bound to get even more heated.
After the show I was feeling pretty good about myself, and my date and I went back to her place. I clumsily thought that something more might happen that evening but soon enough realized, “Oh my, I don’t think my date’s particularly attracted to me. This was just a ‘friend’s date,’ wasn’t it?” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t just shooting myself down prematurely. It was just suddenly obvious that nothing more was destined for the evening. I picked my ego up off the floor and brushed it off. We chatted some more, and I put on a smile and didn’t take it personally. I thanked her for the great show and lovely evening and headed out to my car. It was so long ago but I don’t think we ever saw each other again after that night.
It is funny when you’re out on a date and are not quite sure where it’s going. Like most, I’ve had my share of truly awkward moments with dates after coming back home to their place or to mine. There was one doozy a couple decades ago where I was struggling with deep social anxiety and yet the date I was with still invited me back home. Looking back, I can’t imagine why the poor woman I was with didn’t just thank me while I was staring at my shoes and say, well, I need to get up early tomorrow! It’s one of those memories that I wouldn’t mind erasing from my brain like in that Jim Carrey movie. At this point though I have to admit that my days of dating genetic women are likely over. Trannies In Trouble has warped my sexuality for good and I was never the most masculine and conventional guy with women to begin with.
As for the Eddie Izzard show, that was a really great night even if it ended with a certain awkwardness. But I still was touched by my date’s lavish generosity. I know those tickets weren’t cheap! Who knows, maybe if I’d dressed up the evening would have ended on a more promising note – a lesson there (whether it really is or not), but when you have the chance to dress up, always go for it and don’t put it off!