Monthly Archives: December 2024

life in general

The Age-Verification Ambulance Chasers

Leave a comment

Apparently, there’s a law firm in Kansas that’s using the state’s new age verification law to solicit potential clients to sue porn website owners. Kansas’s law (one of the strictest in the country) is designed so that any citizen, not just the state, can bring a lawsuit against a producer. The Kansas law allows for a minimum fine of $50,000 dollars against any website operator with a site accessible in Kansas that doesn’t have an age verification system in place. It seems some producers may have already received letters from the Kansas law firm demanding a settlement to avoid legal action. I can just imagine having to speak to one of these lawyers: “It would be a shame to find yourself embroiled in a big lawsuit. But hey, buddy, making a settlement would be a much wiser path, spare yourself all that scrutiny and embarrassment of being dragged into court with your weird fetish website, could ruin your life. Yeah, would really be a shame if something like that were to happen to you, wouldn’t it?”

If this kind of thing escalates, it’s possible it could reach a point where I may have to block my own website from showing up in states where I could conceivably get sued. Pornhub has already done that, and in those states, you have to use a VPN (virtual private network) to get around the block. Thankfully VPNs are pretty cheap. Ironically, many teenagers are already way more familiar with using VPNs than many adults are. It’s too early to say what traction these legal tactics will have, and of course there’s the big Supreme Court case coming up in January challenging Texas’s age verification law which could change everything (or not). More wait and see.

life in general, movies, television

The Horror Movie That Traumatized Me – “Carrie”

Leave a comment

I like horror movies but there have been a few that were just too creepy and upsetting, and the one that creeped me out more than any other is the original “Carrie” with Sissy Spacek, based on the Stephen King novel. If you haven’t seen the movie, this blog post has lots of spoilers – as does that trailer linked to above, which basically gives away the entire movie!

I was thirteen when the movie came out in 1976. I was a pretty sensitive kid, and I remember going to the theater with my mom to see some other movie. We were waiting in line, and I glanced over and just by chance saw the coming attractions poster where Sissy Spacek is smiling as the prom queen on the left and covered in pig’s blood with big wide eyes on the right. The moment I saw the poster my stomach just dropped. Something about the image just chilled me to the bone and I knew I would remember that image and that moment the rest of my life. I can’t even remember now what movie my mom and I were seeing that day but I’m pretty sure I sat there in the theater the whole time thinking about that poster and knowing I would have to walk by it again when we left. I felt genuinely distressed, and all that winter while the movie was in the theaters I avoided looking at the movie ads in the newspaper and was cautious whenever TV commercials came on in case the trailer for the movie were to pop up – much the same fear I had a couple years later (warning: creepy ventriloquist doll!) with the trailer for “Magic.”

I finally worked up my courage and saw “Carrie” on VHS when I was about twenty with my friend Kathy, my once-best friend whom I’ve written about a few times. I was glad I got through the movie but I still found it very creepy, and the prom scene and the ending still got to me. Years went by and then one night in the early 2000s I woke up with insomnia and turned on the TV at 2:00 AM. Sure enough, the prom scene was playing on the screen – the precise moment when Sissy Spacek has just been doused with pig’s blood and is hearing that voice in her head: “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” It took me a moment to register what I was even seeing and then the shock came over me – OMG! I immediately turned off the set. That movie really left a mark on my psyche, even decades later.

So to confront my fears, I finally sat down and watched the movie again with my roommate a while back, and I’m happy to say I had a great time revisiting it. There’s nothing kinky about the movie, but as others have commented online, it’s definitely much campier than I remember. I still find the last half hour pretty creepy but now I can enjoy and appreciate it. It’s one of those movies where everything came together perfectly, the cast, the story, the direction, the music, and all the creative camera moves and techniques such as the use of split screen and slow motion during the prom scene. Brian De Palma’s earlier “Phantom of The Paradise,” has a similar feel and is another one totally worth seeing that also has a couple scenes that freaked me out, but nowhere near to the same degree.

I know some would probably say, “It’s a good movie and has its moments but it’s not that upsetting!” Somehow though it just really wormed its way into my head when I was young. I think there are a few elements that frightened me the most: first off, just the fact that what happens to Carrie is so unfair. She’s bullied mercilessly and the bullying finally turns her into a monster as she snaps and takes her revenge (though I’ve read some interpretations saying that she disassociates during the climax and doesn’t fully realize what she’s doing). For me, one of the saddest and most frightening moments of the movie is that once she’s burned down the gymnasium and killed everyone, she’s left walking home all alone in that bloody dress. Something about the ruin that she’s caused and the damnation of her own life in that moment just seem terrifying to me. And the shot of her as she slowly walks out of the gym with the fires raging behind her and the doors then swinging shut and locking everyone inside just feels so hopeless and desolate.

Roger Ebert (warning: bloody Sissy Spacek pic!) in his review made the interesting observation that the horror doesn’t come from an outside monster or from some supernatural being – the horror comes from what the characters are: the mean girls who bully Carrie, her crazy religion-obsessed mother (whose religious worldview is actually reinforced by the ending), and Carrie’s own growing powers that finally lead her to snap and take revenge on her tormentors. An interesting aside, before the movie was released the name Carrie was quite popular as a girl’s name, but it has apparently declined significantly since then, not surprisingly.

It was reassuring for me to read a few interviews with Sissy Spacek where she said that the making of the movie was a completely positive experience for her and that she enjoyed shooting the prom scene. To maintain continuity and as part of her method acting technique, she apparently actually slept in the bloody dress for three nights in a trailer parked by the set where they were filming. And for much of the production she avoided the other actors in order to heighten her feelings of alienation. It made me feel a little better to know that she wasn’t freaked out by any of it.

But for me it’s still the number one most frightening horror movie ever. A close second is “The Exorcist,” which objectively is even more creepy and disturbing, though for me I’d still give “Carrie” a slight edge. Plus, as some reviewers have pointed out, “The Exorcist” at least leaves you with some hope at the end since the devil has been cast out (at least for the moment), whereas “Carrie” is relentlessly hopeless and sad. Even Amy Irving’s character, one of the only survivors, is obviously left to cope for the rest of her life with a serious case of survivor’s guilt and PTSD. As for myself, Sissy Spacek’s blood-soaked image has probably crossed my mind thousands of times over the years. When I’m alone in the dark and getting up to pee at 2:00 AM my mind will still sometimes go to that image. I don’t completely understand why that particular image upset me so much, whereas other bloody images from other horror movies were not that bad – but boy, it sure did!

There are certainly other horror movies that really gave me the willies but none as much as “Carrie” did: “Poltergeist,” “Halloween,” “Alien,” and more recently, “Midsommar.” The woman in the bathtub was pretty bad in “The Shining,” as was the ending of the original French version of “The Vanishing.” The first time I tried to watch David Lynch’s “Eraserhead,” I was in a theater and found it so upsetting that I walked out halfway through. (I’ve since seen the whole thing – very good but definitely not for everyone.) “Prince of Darkness” was another disturbing one from the ’80s, an imaginative Antichrist movie directed by John Carpenter that features a video transmission from the future showing a shadowy figure emerging from a tunnel – something about that brief moment, which occurs several times, just gave me the chills. For me, though, “Carrie” will always be right at the top of the list.

If you have a “favorite” horror movie that did a number on your head, leave a comment as I’d love to know what it is. And if you’ve read this far thanks for indulging me here. It is a little embarrassing admitting how much that movie affected me, but I’m also happy to say that I’m now a big fan in spite of what it did to me in my younger years. But I’ll probably still continue to think about “Carrie” (and sometimes “The Exorcist”) when I have to get up late at night to go pee.

Cool pic with Sissy Spacek outside a theater back in 1976.

life in general, los angeles

Sandra Reports for Jury Duty

2 Comments

I get notices for jury duty fairly often living here in L.A., about once every two years. I wouldn’t mind that much going to the courthouse if it were just for a day, but running Trannies In Trouble takes up so much time that it really is a big inconvenience serving on a jury. The only time I’ve ever been chosen, as an alternate juror, was sometime in the early 2000s on a criminal trial that lasted three or four days.

Just last month I had to go downtown to the big courthouse where a bunch of high-profile cases have been tried, including the OJ trial and the Phil Spector murder trial. It’s a dull ugly building, and when I arrived, I was probably one of 200 or 300 people waiting in the huge seating area on the first floor. I really didn’t want to serve more than one day so I dressed in my casual Sandra mode, wearing girls’ jeans and tennies and a black androgynous satin top with sequined buttons. I wore light makeup and a wig and some jewelry, going for that androgynous musician look that I usually wear when I check into hotels. I wanted to stand out and look unusual but not completely bizarre. I skipped wearing a skirt and high heels since I wanted to feel comfortable, especially if I were going to have to spend the whole day there. No one spoke to me the entire morning except for the lady I briefly talked to when checking in. I had plenty of reading material and enjoyed some people watching. At one point there was a squeaky outside door that badly needed to be oiled. After the third or fourth time that someone went through it and it let out this absurdly loud metallic wailing sound, I glanced over at a woman who was looking in that direction and we both laughed under our breath.

Going to the courthouse is kind of interesting since I’ve had some paralegal training in the past. I’m not an actual California paralegal since the state has pretty strict requirements, but I know just enough about the law to sound like I know what I’m talking about while not really knowing much at all. But the atmosphere of the courthouse is interesting, all the different people and the sense of potential drama amid endless tedium, delay and waiting.

Prosecutors, of course, want people on the jury whom they feel they can persuade. But any prosecutor who would allow me to sit on a jury would not be doing a good job. My desire to stand out and look unusual was part of my strategy not to be picked. I did make it into one of the courtrooms for a domestic violence case and I was reassured listening to the prosecutor question prospective jurors, asking them detailed questions about their attitudes and opinions. It was immediately apparent that if I were questioned and simply answered honestly (I would be under oath anyway, which I take seriously), he would almost certainly send me home. I was prepared to say that I run a fetish porn website for a living (true), and that alone would probably mark me as a wild card who might make unpredictable decisions. I’m certainly not an anarchist, but I am very skeptical of the fairness of the legal system and am especially repelled by the shockingly high incarceration rates in the United States, something that I have no stomach to contribute to. As I’ve said before on this blog, we Americans have this crazy impulse to lock people up. Many developed countries use fines and probation as a deterrent but here in America it’s so often go straight to jail. And with so many prisons now privately-run businesses, there’s money to be made in putting people behind bars. What’s more American than making money?

So as I sat there in the courtroom, I realized, “Hey wait, I think they just seated the last juror. Did they? did they?” And then as I watched from the sidelines, the jurors and the alternates were being sworn in, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet! I had such a rush of relief! “OMG, I think they’re going to send the rest of us home!” Sure enough, twenty minutes later I was walking back to the parking garage, I didn’t even have to speak to a single lawyer about my numerous legal opinions. I was off the hook again, probably for another 24 months or more, and I could still get some work done that afternoon. At least now I know exactly what my courtroom outfit will be for next time!

life in general, los angeles, websites

The Future of Porn as 2024 Wraps Up

Leave a comment

I always enjoy doing these yearly wrap-ups, and I’m happy to say this year has been a pretty good one for me. Running Trannies In Trouble gives my weeks and months a certain sameness – doing the photoshoots, editing the material, updating and emailing. In many ways my life is routine and even boring most of the time even though it may look like one big bondage orgy from the outside. I’ve said many times, though, that when a photoshoot goes well, I often get a natural high afterwards – often some of the biggest emotional highs that I ever get – which is probably a big reason why I keep doing them. Running a website for a living can be stressful but I know if I stopped shooting, I would miss those moments. When it goes well it can be a rush.

I’ve also had some nice social events with friends this year. My friend Jeanne and I again went to the Transgender Erotica Awards last March. I never feel like I really fit in at that show since it’s not a bondage-themed event, but it is interesting looking in from the outside. For me, though, as I’ve gotten older, my tastes have become simpler. I don’t need much to have a nice evening. Just hanging out with friends and family are what makes life worth living. I can’t imagine being isolated and alone, as so many are, especially the elderly. I’d be miserable living like that and I’m grateful for the people in my life.

The Future of Porn – Back in July I also wrote a blog post about The Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 and its hardline stance against the porn industry. I wish I were writing something really sexy here, but I’m afraid this post will inevitably be a little dry with all the legal stuff going on. I’m usually not overly political on this blog, and my own political leanings aren’t that important to the discussion. But whether you love or hate Donald Trump at least now we know who the next president will be. In many ways the waiting before the election was the worst.

Since the election I’ve been reading more legal news as it relates to porn and trying to anticipate what might come next. In some ways I would actually be more worried if JD Vance were president, since he’s on the record as being very anti-porn. He’s also good buddies with Kevin Roberts, who heads The Heritage Foundation and who wrote that much-quoted introduction to the Project 2025 playbook calling for porn sites to be shut down and porn people to be put in prison.

The Trump administration has a long list of goals they want to achieve, especially in their first 180 days in office, and while I could be naive and missing things, I’m doubtful, despite the rhetoric of Project 2025, that an outright ban on porn is on that to-do list. Plus, Donald Trump and his people tend to broadcast what they plan to do. For example, it’s clear that they’re moving full speed ahead with plans to carry out mass deportations, something that’s been discussed and in the news for a long time. A friend of mine also pointed out that Trump’s campaign especially appealed to men, and if there were an attempt at an outright ban against porn that it would alienate a lot of his supporters.

That’s not to deny that we’re currently experiencing a very strong anti-porn push in this country, with much of the movement at the state level with all the new age verification laws being passed. As many of you know, Pornhub has pulled out of the states that currently require age verification simply to avoid the hassles of trying to comply with these new laws. Again, I’m all for keeping kids off my website, but these invasive laws are not the way to do it.

One interesting unintended public statement this summer was from Russell Vought, who’s a major policy wonk who contributed a lot to Project 2025’s “Mandate for Leadership” playbook. He was secretly recorded last July while meeting with two guys who he thought were donors to his think tank. “I actually never talk about our porn agenda,” he said, later adding, “We’d have a national ban on pornography if we could, right?” And regarding age verification laws he admitted that they’re a good way to get rid of porn websites, since as mentioned above sites like Pornhub will often simply pull out of those states where the laws have been passed. “Which of course is entirely what we were after, right?” (more here). Vought has since been named to head Trump’s Office of Management and Budget (OMB), where he also served during the first Trump administration.

The biggest recent news, though, is the challenge to Texas’s age verification law, Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton, which the Supreme Court will start hearing on January 15th, 2025, though of course we won’t have a ruling till the end of the summer. This could be a big one, though again it’s anyone’s guess how it might play out, although with the current makeup of the court the FSC has a lot of work ahead of them. I’m a paying supporter of the FSC, who are a very worthy group advocating for the porn industry.

The upcoming Supreme Court case (lots more details here and here), could have a huge impact on age verification laws – reversing them or leading to even more laws, depending of course on which way the decision goes. California’s proposed age verification law thankfully did not pass earlier this year, and I breathed a big sigh of relief when I heard the news. What we don’t know, though, is whether the new Trump administration will supercharge the anti-porn push in this country, or if things will continue on as they’ve been going, which has certainly been bad enough for the porn industry. Even a family member of mine called me this summer and said, “They’re going to come for you!” By my nature I’m a cautious person and I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but obviously I just don’t know. If I were going to guess I would imagine that there will be continued hassles and scrutiny in running an adult website, more age verification laws (maybe a federal law, which would be a huge headache), but that there wouldn’t be an attempt at an outright ban. Speculation, of course, will get you nowhere and I could be totally wrong about all of this. It’s just wait and see.

So on that not very reassuring note, I hope everyone has a nice time over the upcoming holidays and a fun New Year’s Eve at the end of the month. As always, thank you so much to everyone who follows Trannies In Trouble, and of course a very special thanks to the paying members who have joined through CCBill or have bought some of my videos on Clips4Sale. Without your support the site would just be a hobby with an occasional random update. I really could not do it without you! Take care, keep the faith, and all the best in the new year! Love and hugs, Sandra