I spent New Years in San Francisco visiting my good friend Kim. New Year’s Eve we ended up at a tranny bar called Diva’s, had some champagne and danced a bit, and watched some really hot Latinas shake their booties. I also finally had the chance to meet my friend Krystal, whom I’d been chatting with for a long time. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to play but I look forward to getting her all strapped up one of these days (he he he…)

Traveling while dressed
I’ve wanted to fly while dressed for a long time and on this trip finally had my chance. I flew out of the Burbank airport, which is small and close to home. I went low-key: girl’s jeans and top, shoes, make-up, jewelry, a coat and a purse. I was a little nervous but tried to act like I belonged there and like it was no big deal. The guy checking IDs at security looked at my passport (which obviously has a male picture on it), then without moving his head his eyes went up to my face, he paused for a moment, his eyes went back down, and he handed me back my ID without saying a word.

I usually feel like I don’t pass very well because I’m so tall. But I started to notice that most people either didn’t notice me at all or if they did, I was probably just another person in the crowd. Of course there were many times when I felt I was being checked out or seemed to notice a look of recognition on someone’s face.

One time I noticed an older woman looking at me several times and then it looked like she was giving me a dirty look as she passed by. But who knows? Maybe she looks that way all the time? That’s the weird thing about “passing.” You just never really know what’s going through someone’s mind unless they say something to you. I think it’s best not to worry about whether or not you’re passing, but it’s hard not to. I accept that crossdressing will always be controversial and that there are going to be some people who won’t like me for doing it. But all I have control over is my reaction to the outer environment.

Hash Brownies
So I was doing such a good job of playing it cool and then everything fell apart. It was later that evening at Kim’s place. I was having a great time just hanging out and decided to sample a couple bites of her special brownies. An hour or so passed and I felt nothing, so we both took another little bite. Then another hour or so passed and it hit me hard. I had such a bad trip! I only occasionally smoke pot, maybe once or twice a year, because I’m especially sensitive to it and never know how I’ll react. Well, for over two hours I was freaking out. I got the shakes really bad and felt totally out of touch with reality and wasn’t sure I was ever going to get back to it. In the back of my mind I realized that it was just the drug and that this too will pass, and then I’d get swept up in it again, like in waves. Kim was very helpful guiding me back and holding my hand. And then finally after a couple hours it began to wind down. The next morning I was back to my senses and I had one of those feelings of clear insight, as though the patterns of my life up to now all made sense and I could see where I was going, and it was good – I was on the right path. Who knows? Maybe it was all just an after-effect, but I sure felt good. In retrospect it was an intriguing experience, though scary as hell at the time.