Wow, I’m such a slut! I was on the webcam last night for close to seven hours and really enjoyed it. Several members from the website dropped by and chatted: Kara, Edie, Garcia, Cheryl, Maneater, Chelle and several others that I’m sure I’m forgetting. I’m thinking more and more that I really must be some sort of exhibitionist. I used to think that, “No, not me, I just like to take pictures,” but the funny thing is I found myself getting really turned on knowing that I was being watched. I would stare into the lens of the webcam and imagine that someone was watching and laughing at my helpless plight (which they really were).

I used the ice cube in the pantyhose trick to suspend the handcuff key out of reach. I did it twice. The first time I had my hands cuffed in front and used leather belts to bind myself. That way I could also type and let my hands wander a bit as I struggled and moaned. As it was approaching nine PM, I was sure that the key was going to drop before the top of the hour. So I made a bet that if the ice wasn’t melted by nine I would do it all over again. The minutes ticked by and, damn, finally the key dropped at nine PM and thirty seconds! I couldn’t believe it, though I was also pretty excited about being “forced” to do it again. This time I used six ice cubes in the pantyhose – more than I’ve ever used before – again used the leather straps, clear duct tape over my mouth, with a strip going all the way around my head, and the handcuffs again – but this time cuffed behind my back. Then I sat back to wait and watch the melting ice.

The first hour or so was easy enough. There was some fun chatting going on in the chatroom, though with my arms behind my back I couldn’t participate too much. Then I started to realize that I was growing really tired and could see that the ice still had at least another hour or two to go before it melted. I started to worry a little and lay on the sofa as well as I could to relax. Later it was getting close to midnight and several people had to sign out. I got in front of the webcam and started rocking back and forth and pleading into the lens. The bondage held me so tightly and there was nothing to do but wait. I must have drifted off into some kind of bondage trance. I kept moaning and shaking, regretting that I’d used so many ice cubes, but also really excited even though I was exhausted. Finally it was down to the end and I sat on the sofa staring at the key overhead just out of reach. Kara was so sweet to stay watching till the very end and offering words of encouragement. The ice finally gave way and the key dropped and I was free! It was past midnight. I’d started chatting at five PM, so all together was probably bound and gagged for at least five of the seven hours. Wow, what a turn on!

Last night I went to the Bondage Ball and met BV, whom I’ve been talking to through email for a couple weeks. I was so glad she showed up and we got to talk and hang out. DK was also there and we got to visit with her for a while too. I also briefly got to meet Dominic Wolfe, which was really cool. I have to admit though that before anyone got there, when I was wandering around looking at people and they looking at me, I felt really out of place. The crowd seemed way more hip than me – or so I told myself. There were some incredibly hot girls in tight PVC dresses who got me all turned on. There was one in particular with a tight metallic dress that had buckles all the way up and down the back. She was incredible and gave BV a nice compliment about her dress as we were leaving. But to be honest I’m not sure that I need to go to another party like this anytime soon. What bothers me about fetish parties is that it feels like there’s so much pressure to look beautiful and hip that it really isn’t that much fun. I often feel at these events that you can’t really get to know people or make any real contact. The music’s too loud and I worry about how my breath smells. A lot of times I’ll go out at night and come home just feeling alone and depressed.

I’ve been thinking for a while I should start keeping a blog to jot down what’s going on in my life and at the website. Hopefully it won’t be too self-indulgent, but since it’s all about ME it probably will be.

Things have been really busy lately. The site’s been up over two years and has taken off in ways I never thought it would. I’m really grateful to all the members who have signed up, especially the ones who have stayed there with me month after month. I hope I’m providing some hot material and a place to talk to others with similar interests. I’m so grateful for the internet. I remember back in the early 90s when I was hearing more and more about it. I spent a year working at an adult bookstore in Colorado Springs – the First Amendment Bookstore, which sadly enough didn’t have much crossdressing bondage material. I remember guys would say it must be the greatest job, since I could watch all the hardcore pornos I wanted to, but they didn’t do anything for me so I rarely ever watched them. I remember telling one guy this and he couldn’t believe me – how could you not watch porn?