It tends to go in cycles but recently I’ve gotten a few of those “You’re going to hell” emails and blog comments (all of which I deleted). One guy who wrote admitted that he was still sometimes bothered by his forced femme fantasies and that he got turned on looking at the pictures on my blog – apparently he spent a fair amount of time checking it out. It makes me sad. I just wish that people wouldn’t torment themselves so much over their sexual urges. From what he wrote it was clear that he was going to be struggling with his sexuality for the rest of his life, going back and forth between his religious beliefs, which in his mind shouted “No!” and occasional bouts of masturbation followed by guilt and self-loathing. That’s no way to live. When I was in my teens I was terribly guilt-ridden about being a crossdresser who likes bondage, and it probably took me ten years to even begin to set that aside. Thankfully now enough people in my life know about this side of me that there’s no going back. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a believer myself but I have no problems with spirituality. In fact I know several people who are believers AND who also enjoy their kinks and they’re able to make it work and not torment themselves, as they really aren’t mutually exclusive things. The guilt and the prohibition are really so unnecessary and are just generated in one’s own mind.
I don’t want to put down anyone’s religious beliefs but the idea that there’s a supreme being keeping track of my sexual fantasies and my masturbation sessions, and that at the end he’s going to unleash eternal torment upon me – I don’t buy that for a second, and there’s no evidence at all to support the belief that that’s how the universe is set up. It’s just a story that so many of us have been told, handed down through the generations, and frankly I think it’s nonsense. There’ll probably be some comments and emails saying I’m wrong, and to change my ways before it’s too late, but if you’re inclined to write and say I’m going to burn in hell, please don’t. I’ve heard it a hundred times already; it’s usually the same old tired arguments and Bible quotes, and if it’s a blog comment that someone leaves, I’ll probably just delete it, unless it’s very well reasoned, with no misspelled words, or really really clever.
Hello Sandra,
we felt guilty because we thought that we were alone to love crossdressing and bondage, and because we live in socities where christian religion is very present in our education, telling us what is good and what is bad.
Sexuality (any kind of sexuality), considered as a pleasure (and not as the way to have children), is a bad thing in christian religion. Of course, it exists some limits to sexuality (the laws).
We are afraid of the judgement of other people. If our close are opened mind and share the same passions, we can accept what we are, and what we love, not as a monster, just like a man with kinky side …
I understand where this comes from in the US. There’s a heavy seam of desire for the levying of Calvinist punishments and damnations on others which turns back on itself as guilt. Everyone grows up with it so I guess it’s only human that it takes years to shed or can’t be gotten rid of at all.
For a domain/blog about crossdressing & bondage this place is very freeing, so to speak. In its way it’s rather jaunty.
Being a reformed Catholic that spent a lot of time in the corner, I can understand George Carlin’s take on God. The #1 killer on the planet, more wars have been fought over different Gods and religions. The suicide rate that involves religion is also very high, too high.
Ironically in education and amongst scholars, to prove a fact more than one good sourse is required, most term papers require three. The Bible is a so-called book of fact with no reasonable sources, and through science have discovered the New Testament took over 400 years to complete and a lot of it was written in Greek which is odd since only a few of the Apostles were educated.
Thanks, Paddy, DD, and PF, for the comments! I just Googled “George Carlin on religion” and got some terrific YouTube videos. I love that guy!
It is hard as a Christian to read a post from someone I admire and, though from a distance and not based on any physical relationship, do care about, when they say they are not a believer. But I recognize the sources of such statements and though, as I say I do not know the real answer behind the disbelief, perhaps you are a rational scientist who needs physical proof, I suspect that the disbelief springs more from the wounds you receive from supposedly good Christian people who seek to hide their weaknesses and sins behind yours. All I can do is say I am sorry, I am sorry for people that soil the name of God, in the name of God, by their actions towards others of God’s children who may not look like or act just the way they think God’s children should look or act.
“For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13) David composed these words as a testament to the sense he had of God’s intimate involvement in all the areas of our life. David was a sinner and a hero, but He loved God and everything else, the dalliance with Bathsheba, the conspiracy to allow Uriah’s death, all his sins could not separate him from God nor God from him. God called David a man after God’s own heart, and I think what that means is that the outer manifestations have little to do with damnation or redemption. It is what lies in a person’s heart that matters. But more to the point for me is the passage from Psalms, and it has been a great comfort as a CD, who is into bondage, but who also counts herself a Christian that to realize, I am God’s creation. Who am I, who is anyone for that matter, to question the way God made me? Now what I do with the things God gave me, or made me to be can make a difference. I can both embrace myself as God created me and choose to reflect His Glory in positive affirming ways, for myself, but most importantly for others’ or I can listen to misguided and intolerant people and convince myself that I am not God’s creation, bundling the desires up and burying them deep inside, doing who knows what kind of harm, or I can reject the naysayers and reject their God. It is my firm belief God would have us be who we are and not choose either of the latter two paths, but I also firmly believe that those choices never ever separate me from God’s love and desire for me to live to my fullest potential and being as He created me to do. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s Love” (Romans 8:38) Sandra, I guess that would be my response to those who would condemn us to hell for our love of dressing and bondage. Even if you do not believe, you can feel free to throw God’s own words as “they” literally believe them back at them. I realize that perhaps it is better to walk away, even Jesus told his disciples not to tarry where they weren’t wanted, and to turn the other cheek. But for me it is hard to sit idly by while God is dragged through the mud, while some of His Children are turned from him by those who have little or no understanding of the sacrifice Christ made for ALL, not just those who manage to polish up the exterior while harboring hatred in their hearts.
Finally I do feel I must respond to the rationalists out there. I consider myself somewhat of a rationalist; science to me only contributes to a better understanding of the ultimate Creative power at work in the Universe. I like the Genesis story of Creation because it presents a poetic and simple way for a primitive people to describe their understanding of God. Did it happen that way? No, the evidence points me to something even bigger and more awe inspiring. Just because science hasn’t proven God, though I argue that every day God is revealed evening scientific discovery, doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist. A good rationalist will not revert to a dogmatic stance that eerily parallels that of his religious counterpart, just because science hasn’t devised the proof for the God Theorem. After all, my grandfather had never heard of black holes, or quantum physics. Doesn’t mean they didn’t exist in the 1910’s.
Anyway, this has probably gone on too long and all I want to say is that my hope is to someday stand in a Christian Congregation as Vicki and reflect His Glory. Oh those churches where I could do that do exist, it’s me I still have a little bit to work on in getting there. I think that, more than any amount of “preaching” I might try and do is much more in keeping with God’s plan for me and for others. Still, and you can’t stop me, I’ll be praying for you and for all who suffer wounds inflicted by the mean spirited.
At last, sooemne comes up with the “right” answer!