I’ve noticed more and more that I have big anxiety issues with email. It seems that in the last year the volume of incoming email has really ratcheted up and I find myself having a harder and harder time responding to all of it. I even find myself feeling deeply guilty when I don’t respond and sometimes moaning when I look at my inbox and see this huge lists of unanswered emails with those little checkmarks next to them. Oftentimes I’ll just close Outlook Express in despair, realizing that the list will only be bigger tomorrow and knowing that I’ll probably never get it down to zero. Last week I was answering some email and realized that I’d spent three hours on it and had still only made a dent.
Now I don’t want to complain and I don’t want people to not write me, as I know that the reason there’s all that email is that lots of people like Trannies In Trouble, for which I’m truly grateful. The website is a ton of work but it’s been one of the better things I’ve ever done in my life. But I also realized recently that at the present moment my relationship to email is out of balance and causing me a lot of mental anguish and I have to accept that until I get better at it and improve my email skills the sense that I’m overwhelmed by it is going to continue to cause me anxiety. Right now I can only accept that my inbox is way out of whack, my abilities to deal with it are lacking, and I haven’t even begun to figure it out yet.
As I’ve mentioned here before I’m the kind of person who typically has a guilty conscience. I want to please people and, like most of us, I want people to like me. And the unanswered emails make me feel like I’m letting people down, hurting others’ feelings, and making people resentful – reactions that are most likely way overblown and just coming from my own worried and overheated brain. So in a way I’m asking for forgiveness in writing this blog post. If I haven’t written back, it’s not personal. I just don’t know how to stay on top of it, and I know there are a lot of people who will probably never get a response. I don’t like that but I know that until I figure out a better way that’s how it is. Email (and the internet) is a blessing and a curse. Thanks for indulging me if you’ve read this far and leave me a comment here if you’re in the same boat or have any thoughts. Actually blog comments are way better than email and are probably way likelier to get a response, though at this point I can’t even promise that ;-)
Best advice I can think of:
Set-up some filters that will ship certain kinds of e-mail into specific folders. Perhaps any with “Trannies in Trouble” in the header go to one folder, as an example. I certainly hope you already have a spam filter in place. If you have spam stuff that is slipping through, you should mark that stuff as spam (if you can) and your system will recognize that IP address and/or similar headers and ship them off to spam world in the future.
It is well advised, however, to give a quick glance to your spam folder every couple of say and scan through the most recent arrivals. Sometimes “real” e-mail can be misdirected.
Dani
Hi Dani. Yes, I do have a very good spam filter, so that’s never been much of a problem. It’s just the sheer volume of messages that’s so tough to stay on top of.
A couple people have written me apologizing for writing, which wasn’t my intention at all. I still like to have people write me, and I try to respond as much as I can but it might take a while, and more and more my responses are often just a line or two. But I still like to hear from people. No worries and no need for anyone to apologize! :-) I was just feeling really overwhelmed when I wrote this post.
Sandra,
Two ideas…
1. Start up two folders to stuff your e-mails into:
T-In-T BUSINESS
T-In-T PLEASURE
Everything goes into the Pleasure folder, except those directly related to making money with your T-In-T site.
2. Maybe you can fashion up a way to make it a pleasant diversion. “E-MAIL TUESDAYS and THURSDAYS”. Dress up as Secretary Sandra and devote some time to playing with the e-mail. Maybe you can place a little bondage upon yourself to enhance the experience while sitting there banging away.
I used to telecommute one day a week, and while working at home I’d ball-gag myself. Sometimes I’d go 3 or more hours gagged thusly and I’d make a point of getting all drool-ey and wet.This was on top of the typical cross-dressing “regalia”, especially for me nylons and heels.
But this is all assuming that you like to entertain yourself at home with a little dressing-up and a bit of bondage.
Dim Bulb