“Faux ASMR” Sandra Does Self Bondage

August 25th, 2019 at 7:10 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I shot something a little different the other night. I had a few hours free in a cheap motel so I decided to do some self bondage, something I haven’t done in a long time! And since the walls of the motel were so thin I thought I’d do a “fake” ASMR-style video, whispering to the camera while I discussed what I was about to do. It was a sexy and intense evening and when the Hitachi came out at the end there really wasn’t any acting involved. Here are a few animated gifs to go with it, and here’s the link to the What’s New? page.

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TEASE is Back! Saturday, July 27, 2019, Noho, CA

July 16th, 2019 at 10:05 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I’m really thrilled to announce that the TEASE Party is back up and running with our next one coming up on Saturday, July 27th, in North Hollywood, CA. I was recently given a nice donation of clothes and things by one of our members who’s hanging up the heels (not purging, just feeling the passage of years), and I’ll also go through my closets and find some things to donate. So there should be a lot to look through – clothes, some wigs, books and CDs – all of it for the taking! TEASE is a fun and laid back party always with plenty of bondage going on, and it’s great to see the club up and running again, still at the same location in North Hollywood. It’ll be from 8 PM till 2 AM, $15 for Threshold Members, $20 for non-members…Here are some links below…Hope to see you there! Hugs, Sandra

http://tranniesintrouble.com/tease.html

https://fetlife.com/events/796864

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A Couple More Captions off Tumblr

June 29th, 2019 at 6:29 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I’m no longer active posting on Tumblr now that they’ve banned adult material but I still run across some of my pics that anonymous people have captioned. I always love seeing things – they amuse me! :-) If you see any more like this feel free to write and send ’em to me!

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Naughty Bondage with TS Klintelle Moore

May 30th, 2019 at 7:01 pm (life in general, los angeles)

Anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while knows that I’ve been meaning to shoot some racier and more revealing scenes for a while, and so when I was approached by a young trans pornstar named Klintelle Moore it was a nice opportunity to push the boundaries just a little bit. I’ll admit I was a little nervous getting ready for this shoot, but Klintelle’s a very nice girl and once we got going it all worked out great. Klintelle’s a natural at making distressed and worried faces, which is what we want in damsel in distress bondage! The shoot wrapped up a little late but it was a good one and we had a nice time shooting together and I’m hoping we can do it again. So here are a few sample pics, and the full gallery of 65 pics is over on the site. I’ll be very curious to see what people think…Enjoy!

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The Mysterious Marie Maiden

April 28th, 2019 at 3:57 pm (life in general, los angeles)

A close friend of Rebecca H. Heels (who passed away in 2007) recently contacted me to share some of Rebecca’s pictures with me, as well as some pics of Marie Maiden.  I never met Marie and have never spoken to anyone who did know her, but her look was extraordinary.  I’d say she was the perfect submissive fetish maid. 

I remember seeing some of her pics probably in the late eighties and mid-nineties, including some super sexy pics in her paisley dress (seventh pic below). I’d heard that she was the submissive of Ledermeister, who made high-quality leather gear back in the day and who passed away years ago.  Everyone who owned any of his gear always said that it was amazing stuff.  Marie Maiden appeared in a few videos with him, as well as with Rebecca H. Heels and Mistress Antoinette, who ran Versatile Fashions.  But Marie herself always seemed like a mystery.  I wonder what happened to her and if she’s still alive, still dressing, or if it’s all in the past?  In any event she was one of a kind.  If anyone knows anything more about her or if you have any memories of first seeing her pictures or videos, feel free to leave a comment below…Thanks and enjoy!

 

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Sixteen Years of Trannies In Trouble

March 22nd, 2019 at 8:02 pm (life in general, los angeles)

Here it is – Sixteen years of Trannies In Trouble! I’m grateful and always a little amazed that the site is still chugging along after those very modest beginnings in 2003.

On the down side, sites like Pornhub and xHamster drive me a little nuts, but they’re here to stay. I have a few online friends who send me notices when they see a new batch of my videos reposted on the tube sites. (Obviously so much of what those sites post is stolen material and it always amazes me from a legal standpoint that they stay in business year after year, but then again it’s “just porn” so there are no real consequences.) Recently I saw one of my videos with Jewell Marceau and me that had over 130,000 viewings on xHamster, and just the other day another one with Star Nine that had over 220,000 viewings! The biggest irony is when viewers watch my stolen videos on those sites and then leave a “thumbs down” rating! I’ve had people ask me, “Well, isn’t it good free publicity?” If there were just an occasional reposted video here and there it wouldn’t make any difference, but at this point it’s become such a widespread problem in the porn business that it’s made piracy the norm. I’ll admit though I do plan to make a Pornhub account to at least post my free preview videos. I might as well try to get a little traffic out of it. We’ll see.

But I don’t want to be all negative. It is pretty amazing to me that my site is still going, even if from a business point of view it has experienced a decline. But I get it. As I’ve said before, the whole naughty website business has on average seen a downturn this decade for a number of reasons, with the tube sites and social media being only one part of the story, as well as changing online habits and the huge increase in smartphones. But I’m still in the game. And yes, my current mp4 videos are viewable on smartphones, which is part of the reason I switched to that format in late 2016.

As always I do want to say to the paying members: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can’t do it without your support and I really appreciate each of you. Every sign-up, even just for a month or two, makes a difference and keeps the site going. I hope my material is worth it.

I am hoping to continue on to year seventeen and hopefully far beyond – with my fingers crossed. I’m always open to feedback and suggestions and new ideas for scenarios. And I’m always on the lookout for new models and new locations to shoot at in Southern California. I’d like to shoot a few scenes this year that are more revealing (more panty bulges and maybe even a few fully exposed shots), so anyone who has a nice put-together look and who might be interested in something a little more naughty, send me an email. While I can’t always shoot with everyone, I always give honest and considerate feedback, and for those who would be a good fit on the site I definitely want to hear from you! In the meantime, I’m going to keep cranking it out and hope to see you back here next year at this time…Stay safe and keep it tight! Hugs, Sandra

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Classy Lady Delilah Returns! / Plus Online Interview at Your Kinky Friends

February 27th, 2019 at 9:25 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I’m excited to be posting a new gallery with my friend Delilah Knotty to close out the month! We shot these a couple years ago and I’ve been holding onto them till a good time, which is now, since Delilah also just did a nice interview with Nicholas Tanek over on his website, “Your Kinky Friends.” Check her out!

I hope you like the new gallery – it’ll be a hot one with tight hemp rope and several gags, including a super tight OTM gag over a stuffed cleave gag to keep her quiet!

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Sybil Minnelli Returns!

January 29th, 2019 at 8:34 pm (life in general, los angeles)

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen my friend Sybil Minnelli, so I was thrilled when she was able to spend a weekend recently in L.A. We were able to get together with our friend Ikaras Jones, who brought a bunch of rope and helped us out with some picture taking. It was a blast doing some new bondage scenes and just hanging out. Sybil was looking as incredible as ever. She has the best outfits with her amazing stockings and retro lingerie! Here are a few preview shots, with the black and white pic taken on her phone. Ikaras and I put her in rope bondage, mummified her, and finished up with an intense Hitachi scene. I don’t think she minded too much…More coming soon!

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2018 Quickly Draws to a Close

December 19th, 2018 at 1:46 pm (life in general, los angeles)

2018 has been an interesting year for me and a good one! As I mentioned earlier I signed up with a new healthcare plan which helped me get back into therapy. I’ve been in therapy a number of times over the years and I highly recommend it (as long as it’s a good therapist whom you feel some rapport with). Just to be able to share stuff openly and not keep it inside – it’s been a huge relief for me.

I also mentioned on Twitter an interesting podcast series about Pornhub and the effect it’s had on the porn business. It’s called “The Butterfly Effect” and it’s fascinating, although, hey, I’d listen to it just to hear the host, Jon Ronson, and his Welsh accent. (Here it is on iTunes)

photo by Michael Keye

One of the takeaways from the podcast is that sites like Pornhub (as well as social media in general), have created an atmosphere where many consumers now feel that naughty pics and videos should be free. Of course this has had a negative effect on the porn and fetish website businesses. It didn’t really hit me till about three years ago but I certainly have noticed a downturn, which I’ve alluded to before. It helps that I have a very specialized website, so not all my stuff gets reposted (though a lot of it does). I never scold anyone when they write and tell me how much they love seeing my stuff on the tube sites, but I always nicely explain that those videos are all stolen and pirated. And besides, I understand how it is. I used to watch old bondage videos myself on the German site MyVideo till I finally gave up the habit. And soon after that the site changed its format anyway. I really doubt, though, that very many people here reading this blog look at my stuff on the tube sites anyway, as so many of the comments here are from regular viewers of my site or people I know.

I say this every year, but I do really appreciate each of you here who are currently members of my site or have been in the past. Without your support it would not happen (or it would just be a fraction of what it is now with an occasional update). So thank you so much! And I understand too if joining a paysite like mine just isn’t in the budget – I know how it is. I’m definitely still in the bondage game, though, and I plan to keep going for as long as I can. I’m actually more excited about the coming year than I have been in a long time. Maybe the world is going to hell and California may burn to the ground, but in the meantime I’m looking forward to shooting some hot new stuff in 2019 (even if it is among the embers!)

On a more serious note, earlier this year after Anthony Bourdain’s and Kate Spade’s deaths I did write a heavy blog post on mental health issues and suicide. I got some really nice responses from people. And then I started to feel self-conscious about what I had written and I even considered taking it down. I was worried that I said too much. I didn’t want to come across as though I defined myself by my suffering, and I didn’t want to sound like I was too “troubled.” But from the emails I got I know that the blog post touched some readers so I decided to leave it up. I still have days that are a struggle, when it can feel like a real grind to get anything done, but I’m actually doing much better than when I wrote that post and I feel like I’m ending the year on a nice upswing.

I hope that everyone out there reading this is hanging in there and doing okay. In spite of the craziness of the world that we live in I do think it’s going to be a good year for many of us, so I hope we all stick around for another one. In the meantime, keep it tight and hide those knots from prying fingers. See you all in 2019! Hugs, Sandra



photo by Delilah Knotty

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Dreams of Love and Lust

November 29th, 2018 at 10:21 pm (life in general, los angeles)

Talking about dreams is usually boring as hell but I’m going to do it anyway, so forgive me if this is a snooze. A couple times a year I’ll have a dream where I’ve met a mysterious woman who’s really into me, or who gives off that vibe, and whom I also find attractive. I’m almost always in “boy mode” myself though I think there have been a few exceptions. Usually it’s a scene where we’ve just met and I’m tiptoeing around my feelings, unsure of whether to own up to just how attracted I am to her. In some of them, though, the woman approaches me and her presence is intoxicating. Usually there’s nothing explicit going on but the atmosphere is highly charged. In a few of them we have been in bed in an embrace, or she’s put her hand on my cheek looking into my eyes, or my hand will be on her leg. Something big is about to happen but it hasn’t happened yet. But there’s always a feeling of, “How lucky I am to have finally met this person and to be here in this moment alone with her…”

Just a week or two ago I had one of these dreams, with a woman wearing a satin blouse and shiny skirt, like in the picture below, very voluptuous, practically coming on to me. In the back of my mind I knew I’d have to tell her I’m a crossdresser and I wasn’t sure how she’d respond. I was a little worried but feeling completely swept up in the moment. Again the atmosphere was so charged and I could see her legs and her stockings through the slit in her skirt. The curves of her body pressed tight against the clothes.

At this point I’ll usually wake up and then go, “Damn it, I’m awake!” And then the sadness hits. There’s such a feeling of connection, followed by the thought that I may never feel something like this in real life. I lie there just wanting to be dreaming again. These occasional dreams are by far the most powerful ones I have, like a brief moment when life feels perfect but, alas, they’re not real. I only hope I have one again soon. Maybe by writing about them I’ll trigger some more. Otherwise it could be another six months. It’s worth the wait…Nite Nite.

Photo by AmberKatt

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West Hollywood Halloween, 2018

November 2nd, 2018 at 12:43 am (life in general, los angeles)

I had a great time last night in West Hollywood. Most everyone I know who usually goes was skipping it this year because it was a weekday night, so I grabbed my camera and went solo and had a fun time shooting a little video. Towards the end of the night I was even able to connect with Ikaras, Lorelei from Bedroom Bondage, and Jon Woods from American Damsels. So there’s even some bondage shots in the video! I was really glad to make it again since I’ve had to skip the last couple years. Another one all wrapped up!

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Video Preview Clips Redone

October 28th, 2018 at 3:14 pm (life in general, los angeles)

It took me long enough but I finally re-edited the free preview video clips over on the site. The old ones definitely needed a workover. These little clips really take a long time to put together, the toughest part being just finding the right moments in the various videos that work well for a one- or two-second shot. It’s nice to finally have these updated and looking better. Really hoping to get another one done before the end of the year…

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Another Humiliating Scene on the TInT News Network

September 25th, 2018 at 6:08 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I can always count on LordIce to dig up some new humiliating scenes where everyone on the web can see what I’ve done! I posted this one over on Twitter recently, definitely a new favorite :-) Thanks, LordIce!

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Hogtied and Posture Collared!

September 3rd, 2018 at 10:29 am (life in general, los angeles)

While updating my new computer and switching over to Windows 10 I found another video from 2015 that I had completely forgotten about! The still pictures from this scene are on the site and now the video is too. Delilah Knotty tied the hell out of me on this one, which is what she does! It was totally inescapable, especially once that hogtie was all cinched down…Sexy and intense!

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“Remember These Pics?”

August 27th, 2018 at 9:10 pm (life in general, los angeles)

I recently had to upgrade to a new computer and I’ve learned that Windows 10 has this odd habit of sending you occasional notifications about old files and folders on your computer. I got one the other day asking about some old pictures from around 2014. The second one I’d completely forgotten about, shot by my friend GW with some nice moody lighting. And the first one was just a casual pic that I shot while feeling sexy in my latex skirt and tight sweater. This was after a photoshoot earlier that day, and I recently posted more of these over on the site. So, yes, thanks, Windows 10! Now I DO remember these pics!

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More Animated GIFs from Twitter

July 26th, 2018 at 2:45 pm (life in general)

I’ve been posting more of these sexy animated Gifs over on Twitter and thought I’d share a few more over here, featuring Allison Li, Anna Sky, Ashley A., Bella Hart, Cassie Woods, and Miki Lee. I am always amazed at some of the responses I get from people, where just a four- or five-second clip can be so sexy! I’ve also been working on some new video techniques and am shooting with a new camera so there should be some even larger-sized videos coming soon if all goes as planned. More to come! :-)

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In an Eeyore State of Mind

June 19th, 2018 at 3:12 pm (life in general)

(After the recent suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, I rewrote this blog post that I’d been working on, basically an update from my earlier post about depression back in 2016. It’s a heavy subject but I try to end on a hopeful note. It won’t interest everyone so I won’t be offended if you decide to skip this one. I’ll be back to writing about bondage again soon.)

Earlier this year I had to change my health insurance and, to my pleasant surprise, the new plan covers some visits to see a therapist. I’ve been in therapy many times over the years but it had been a while, so it’s really nice to be seeing someone again and to be able to talk freely about things.

After going through a very thorough intake interview in March, I was finally diagnosed with dysthymia – a low-level persistent depression that hangs on for at least two years, with at least some depression symptoms occurring more days than not. It used to be classified as a “personality disorder,” which sounds so stigmatizing, as if you’re just a permanently fucked-up person. Later changed to a mood disorder, it was most recently renamed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the bible of mental health professionals, as “persistent depressive disorder.”

One blog I saw recently refers to it as “the depression that stays hidden,” or simply as high-functioning depression. It’s basically like having the personality of Eeyore. I have good days and bad, and I hide it well, although on bad days I may seem overly quiet and inward. I am still able to feel joy and have a good time – things aren’t always bleak – but as I’ve written in this blog before I’ve probably been dealing with this since I was a child.

There is something strange about seeing a mental health diagnosis written down, as if to say, “Well, you always knew there was something wrong with you. Here it is.” Something else that I’ve struggled with for years, social anxiety disorder, was also listed on that sheet of paper. Neither diagnosis surprised me in the least.

I’ve never been actively suicidal but, as I’ve touched on before, I have had suicidal ideation for decades, starting back when I was about nine years old. I remember getting out of bed one morning to get ready for school, and as I walked into the bathroom to pee this wave of sadness and futility came over me and I wished I were dead. Since then over the decades I’ve had similar “death thoughts” probably thousands of times. When things are stressful my mind can easily go to those dark places, sometimes very dark.

Like many people, I was shocked and saddened by the news of Anthony Bourdain’s death by suicide, and Kate Spade’s just a few days earlier. Suicide has always been one of my biggest fears, so whenever I hear about someone actually going through with it, it hits close to home. Of course, with someone like Anthony Bourdain, who just seemed so cool and put together, it’s especially troubling.

Another suicide last year that really shook me up was that of pro-domme and fetish model January Seraph. I had never met her but again, from the outside, she seemed to have such a successful life and career, although she was open about the dark side and her ongoing struggles with depression. Her Twitter feed ominously ended with, “This is the last thing I was working on before The Nothing took hold.” Since last summer there have also been several other suicides and drug overdoses by models in the fetish and porn scenes, with several articles talking about the disturbing trend.

Obviously talk about mental health issues makes many people uncomfortable. There’s a huge stigma around mental disorders and especially suicide. I get it. It touches on our own darkness, and our potential for self-annihilation, which is frightening to consider. We all know that life could take a turn and beat us up so badly that we give in to despair. Suicide has always seemed to me like a temporary madness that takes over, and I have great respect for just how dangerous that impulse can be. One way I try to resist the stigma is to be open here about my own experiences with depression. Keeping the dark things hidden feeds the shame and self-loathing that so easily grow when deep down inside you feel like a damaged person.

Let me be clear again that I have no plans to kill myself. In my own case I’m talking about suicidal ideation versus actually offing myself, though I know my risk is higher than the average person, which is why I plan to never own a firearm and to do everything I can to minimize that risk. When I was going through a tough spell earlier this year, I even vowed to myself never to take my own life regardless of future circumstances. I hope that makes a difference in the end. Life is tragic enough without ending it like that, and I’d hate to have people on Twitter and Facebook writing, “Hey, did you hear about Sandra?”

So I cope, and I do pretty well though I can’t say I’ve ever felt cured of depression. I’ll have times – a few weeks when things are going well – and I’ll think, “Hey, maybe I’m getting this thing under control.” But the low moods, anxiety, and that empty feeling in my chest always seem to return. At this point I suspect it’ll be a life-long thing that I deal with, with ups and downs, although thankfully I’ve never been manic or bipolar, just a gloomy Gus.

But I consciously do a lot of positive things to manage it, some of which – keeping a gratitude journal – are easy to roll one’s eyes at. Corny as it sounds, though, that journal really does help. I also exercise regularly, meditate daily, try to eat my vegetables and drink more water, get a good night’s sleep (not easy since I often get insomnia), and try to watch my rumination and negative self-talk (again, not easy at all). I always look forward to the holidays too, with October through December usually being my best time of the year. I just really like Christmas!

Although dysthymia is a mental disorder, I’m a little skeptical to think of it as a disease in the same way that diabetes is a disease – for example, there is no blood test for dysthymia. And after all these years psychiatrists still don’t really know the underlying causes of mental illness. I’m no expert but it seems to me that this uncertainty just points to the complexity of causes – physical, social and psychological – behind mood disorders.

In my own case, there’s also the whole question of gender. I’ve never been particularly happy with being a man, but I also don’t really feel like I’m a woman. And while I don’t think about gender all the time it does often feel like a weird limbo state. I’ve thought it over many times but going back and starting over again with two X chromosomes somehow doesn’t seem like a particularly viable option.

A few people have asked me, why aren’t you taking medication? It’s a valid question. I actually did take Prozac for many years, and later Wellbutrin too, but after the first year I didn’t get much response from the drugs, which is an all-too-common outcome especially with milder forms of depression. Martin Seligman, the father of the field of positive psychology, points out that one of the dirty little secrets of psychiatry is just how often the drugs don’t work, with only a third of people taking them getting full remission of symptoms. For those lucky souls who get a good response the drugs do make a huge difference. But that leaves two thirds who get no relief from medication or only partial relief.

Although the verdict is still out, there’s even some evidence that long-term use of antidepressants where only partial remission occurs (which is what I experienced) can actually lead in some cases to a permanent depressive syndrome. There’s no way to know if anything like that happened to my brain chemistry but I do regret taking Prozac for so many years when it really wasn’t doing all that much. Having said that, I still follow the research on some of the newer drugs in development, such as Ketamine. It’s bizarre to think that a form of the club drug Special K would ever be used to treat depression, but if it gets good results in the drug trials I wouldn’t completely rule out trying something new.

In his book “Lost Connections,” Johann Hari argues that our modern world with its isolation and lack of social support is making so many of us miserable. Here in the United States, deaths from suicide now outpace deaths from traffic fatalities – close to 45,000 per year according to the Centers for Disease Control – with an increase of 25 percent in suicide rates since 1999 and thousands more failed attempts. The World Health Organization (WHO) now lists depression as the leading cause of disability worldwide, with a global increase of 20 percent in just the last ten years. CNN reported after Anthony Bourdain’s death that the WHO “estimates a global suicide rate of one death every 40 seconds, which by 2020 they predict will increase to one every 20 seconds.” As many have pointed out, something is deeply wrong.

But I don’t want to end on a completely bleak note. Collectively the world may be fucked but individually there’s still connection and beauty and meaning. Simple moments connecting with friends and family, or having one of those rare perfect days when the sun sets and all feels right with the world – I find those times do make it worthwhile. My fears of the future and of eventual decrepitude may tell me otherwise, but in the end I believe the struggle is worth it and that there’s a dignity in continuing on.

I may be a little nuts, but I’m still here and I hope to stick around. Keep the faith…Sandra

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More from Trannies In Trouble Network News!

June 2nd, 2018 at 12:32 pm (life in general, los angeles)

LordIce just sent me another cute and kinky digital manipulation. Lots of bondage in the news lately!

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Digital Manipulations from LordIce

May 24th, 2018 at 6:20 pm (life in general, los angeles)

Recently I got these clever digital manipulations from LordIce, who contacted me over on Yahoo. I really love both of these, and that humiliating “slut-shaming” scenario from the local news made me laugh, which Delilah just dismissed as #fakenews over on Twitter ;-) In any case, LordIce is working on some more. I’ll look forward to seeing what he comes up with next!

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My Photobooks on the Kindle – Free Giveaway!

April 20th, 2018 at 9:21 am (life in general, los angeles)

I just posted my two photobooks over on Amazon for the Kindle reader and I’m doing a five-day free giveaway – free to download and keep, all yours. I’m hoping to get a few reviews over on Amazon and in turn get a little more publicity for Trannies In Trouble. If you don’t have a Kindle you can still look at them with the Kindle App on Amazon, for viewing on your computer…Here’s a link to my Amazon page, big-deal author that I am ;-) Thanks! ~Sandra

Cover designs by Treiops Treyfid

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