A friend recently sent me the last couple seasons of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and I’m really enjoying it! I’d seen bits of the show before and don’t normally get to see much TV, and I’m always totally out of the loop on what’s current, but this one’s really hilarious. Larry David just makes you cringe. If you liked Seinfeld, it’s more of the same. In fact, they’ve been doing a Seinfeld reunion show this season, which I’m looking forward to seeing. There’s some clips on the link above if you haven’t seen it before, or don’t have HBO, like me.
All posts by Sandra
The Decade Winds Down
I was reading an email where someone asked what have you accomplished in the last decade and how many more decades do you expect to have ahead of you? The latter is a particularly sobering question. I just talked to my Dad on the phone for his birthday, and although he’s doing okay, he’s old and I know that eventually I’ll get that inevitable phone call one of these days. For myself there are probably three, maybe four, decades left at best, though if I keep hiking and staying in shape I might be able to drag it out a bit longer. Of course, I won’t be modeling forever but do hope to keep taking bondage pictures of other girls for years to come. And as for what I’ve accomplished, probably the best thing I’ve done in my life so far is to start Trannies In Trouble back in 2003. I haven’t figured things out by any stretch, but it’s certainly the most successful thing I’ve done up to now and I’m very grateful for it and for the fans and customers who enjoy my pictures and videos.
For most of my life I’ve felt as if I’ve just been drifting along often lost and unsure, and I definitely still have those moments, but things have been more focused this decade than they ever were before. One thing that I’m still ambivalent about, though, is Los Angeles. I moved here in 2001 and may not have ever started my website if I hadn’t come here, so it was probably the right move. But on the other hand, L.A. can be such a grind to live in. It’s congested and dirty and there are so many people who are frustrated and angry and just getting by, so it can be a very tense and unpleasant place. Of course, if you were making a six figure income things could be a lot more comfortable, but at this point that ain’t me. I’ve been making contacts and spending more time in Denver this past year, though, and I suspect that I might be spending a lot more time there in the not too distant future. When I was there this summer, just the ease of driving and finding a parking space, having an apartment with some space to turn around in, and having smog-free skies with big puffy clouds was just wonderful, and I found a surprisingly active scene and some really nice clubs and a couple new models to shoot with in a relatively short time. After that I found myself asking what am I doing putting up with Southern California’s grind.
So all in all, the 00’s (what do they call this decade?) have been pretty good for me. I’ve had my lonely times and moments of doubt but compared to earlier decades this one has been pretty good. And I’m hopeful about the next one and where it will lead. We shall see.
Bizarre Bazaar 2009
I had a really nice time at Bizarre Bazaar last Sunday and just got a picture from Gerry, the official photographer (aka Fuckin’ Gerry). I love that guy, with his huge camera (it’s really huge!) He’s at all the Fetish events and doesn’t have even an ounce of inhibition (wish you could bottle and package that trait!) My feet were sore so I was just hanging out for a breather at the Threshold table. I also bought a couple of huge ballgags from Hottbonds. They’re so big they make my jaw ache, but I’ll have to try to shoot with them soon and not give myself even worse TMJ ;-) The venue, Bar Sinister, was a cool place too and I got to see a lot of friends and people whom I only seem to see about once a year. A fun afternoon.
Hogtie Video on Ts in Trouble
I recently posted a new hogtie video on Trannies In Trouble and have already gotten some really good feedback from it. It has a lot of gagtalk and an especially strict hogtie at the very end. Probably what makes it good is that I was really suffering when we made it and I think it shows. In fact I was even thinking of signaling to the cameraman to call it a day, but it’s probably good that I pushed on and endured ;-) At one point I’m kind of stuck between the couch and wall (the second pic below) and I’m actually pretty annoyed while I try to get into a better position. I was trying to talk to the camera man but he had no idea. After a few tries I was able to dislodge myself and get onto the floor, which was only somewhat better. Then at the very end we modified the hogtie so that each wrist was tied directly to each ankle – ouch, that was a tough one! I was really struggling by this point and again tried to communicate, but with the layers of medical tape over my lips and the big wad in my mouth I wasn’t doing too well. All in all, it was a really stringent and difficult tie and made for a nice six minute video. We all have to suffer for our art!
Bizarre Bazaar on Sunday, Nov. 15th
I just wanted to mention that Threshold will be holding their yearly Bizarre Bazaar vendor’s event this Sunday, Nov. 15th from 12 noon to 6 pm at Bar Sinister in Hollywood, CA. I’m planning to be there most of the afternoon, so if you see me do say hi. I’m hoping to see a lot of familiar faces and meet some new friends. Hope to see you there!
Favorite Red Wig
Recently we shot some more pictures in this nice secretary outfit with my favorite red wig. Like I mentioned before there were some technical problems on the bondage pics we did a while back in this same outfit, though I’ll probably post some of them as a small future update. Here are a few extra non-bondage shots, though, from the recent shoot, and I’ll post the entire set, with some more tight elbow bondage and a strict modified hogtie, for Friday’s update. Enjoy!
More Paranormal
Here’s an interesting article on how “Paranormal Activity” came out of limbo and got released.
Ian Anderson Acoustic Concert
The other night my friend Kim and I went to hear Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull in an acoustic concert here in L.A. Way back in my high school days I was a big Jethro Tull fan, back when they were in their prime (yeah, I’m that old), and I saw them a couple times in Denver in the late 70s, when they were awesome. Friday night’s concert was very good, though also a little bittersweet to see the inevitable passage of time. Ian Anderson’s voice is just a shadow of what it used to be, but he can still really rock out on the flute and acoustic guitar. There were about six other backup musician with him – not the usual Tull lineup, though their drummer did sit in on the bongos for a few tunes. The set list included some surprisingly obscure tunes. I’m not a “super fan,” like some of the people at the show who were just in heaven, but I’m pretty familiar with a lot of their stuff, so it was surprising to hear some “B” tracks that never even made it onto an album. They also played some compositions from some of the backup musicians, including a young woman on viola who was really amazing and quite cute too.
Kim and I didn’t dress for the concert, but ironically enough there were two crossdressers in the seats directly in front of us, so maybe we should have. It could have been the tranny corner. In any case, it was a fun show and definitely colored with nostalgia for me and reminders of one’s mortality and the relentless march of time. One thing that didn’t change, though, is they finished up with interesting and energetic acoustic versions of “Aqualung” and “Locomotive Breath,” which are the tunes they almost always wind up their shows with. And for a 62 year old guy they really rocked.
Paranormal Activity
I love horror movies and Paranormal Activity is one of the better ones I’ve seen, in the “less is more” camp and quite effective. It’s about a young couple who start to hear weird noises at night in their house and reluctantly begin to suspect that they’re being haunted. It’s amazing that it was shot for all of twenty thousand dollars with a video camera and actors who appeared to just be playing themselves. The couple can be a little annoying at times, but you get a real sense of their composure unravelling as things escalate. The comparison to The Blair Witch Project is inevitable, though I enjoyed this one much better than Blair Witch and there’s less shaky-cam in this one (though still quite a bit). If you’re going to see this, it’s best to see it in a crowded theater to get the audience reaction and also best not to watch the trailer beforehand. I watched it and wish I hadn’t, as there were scenes shown that I found myself waiting for. I think going in less prepared would probably heighten the tension. Definitely recommended.
Same-Sex Marriage Defeated in Maine
Bummer – voters repealed Maine’s same-sex marriage law, almost exactly a year after the same thing happened in California. This time, though, is the first time actual legislation was rejected, as opposed to a court order. Very discouraging but the fight goes on – it’s not like it’s an issue that’s just going to go away.
Nitrous Oxide
I was at the dentist the other day, getting a filling replaced. The sound of the drill always makes me anxious, so in addition to a good shot of lidocaine, they also gave me some nitrous oxide, through a breathing device over my nose. Man, that stuff is weird and not particularly pleasant! Within moments of inhaling, I was experiencing tunnel vision, spots before my eyes and a feeling of slipping away from reality. After about five or ten minutes, I found it so unpleasant that I had to wave to the dentist and let him know that we could continue without the gas. I know a lot of people find it very relaxing and feel giddy with it, but it was making me even more anxious from the sense of loss of control (I don’t miss the irony too that I’m into bondage but have this deep sense of anxiety over losing control). I’d forgotten how strange nitrous is, but I do remember taking it once as a child, and the dentist’s face looked like it was three feet high, and I had a sensation of falling backwards into the dental chair, which was expanding like a big marshmallow to swallow me up. As a child, I didn’t have the confidence to say that’s enough, so at the time I just endured the weirdness.
I’ve always been very sensitive to drugs, which often made it hard for me to enjoy smoking pot when I would occasionally do it years ago. Sometimes it would be pleasant, but more often than not, I would get anxious and paranoid. Or I would have this experience where all my worst judgmental thoughts about others and my own deep doubts about myself would come to the forefront, as though they were hanging right there in front of my forehead and I couldn’t look away. Not a pleasant experience, so I never did pot that often, and haven’t done anything like that in quite a few years now.
That Wig Again
Well, it can’t all be hiking around here, so here are a few more shots from a couple weeks ago with that new red wig. I’m also wearing that favorite brown skirt and a new blouse that I really like. It’s made from a very stretchy and clingy material and feels great to be in. The bondage shots from this set had some technical problems, so I’m not sure if I’ll post many of them, but the pre-bondage poses were fun and nicely lit.
Cactus to Clouds
Okay, it’s another non-kinky hiking post today, though probably the last one till next summer ;-)
I read about this insane “Cactus to Clouds” hike on Mt. San Jacinto in Palm Springs, CA, a couple years ago and I wondered if I’d ever be up to doing it. Basically you start on the desert floor in Palm Springs and climb up over 10,000 feet of elevation gain to the summit of Mt. San Jacinto, going from the desert to an alpine environment in one long day. This mothah is tough! The desert heat can be deadly so spring or fall are about the only times to safely attempt it (in winter the upper trails get dangerously icey). The trail is sketchy and easy to lose too, so I found a good group to go with – didn’t want to end up alone and lost in the desert!
One cool thing about Mt. San Jacinto is that there’s an Aerial Tramway at the 8000 foot level. So when you’re coming down, you just descend partway to the tram station and ride back down – covering in 12 minutes what took hours and hours to do on foot!
New Wig
A friend recently gave me a new wig with this “flip” action going on that I really like. So yesterday I had a fun shoot and wore it with a couple outfits. Here’s a quick preview. There’ll be some tight duct tape bondage with this red get up in the upcoming weeks. This Friday is also the Club Fantasy party in N. Hollywood, CA. I know what wig I’ll be wearing! Oh, and my good friend Delilah also did some cleaning out of her closets and gave me some clothes she hadn’t worn in a while. So I’ll be bringing some more things to give away at the party. Hope to see you there.
Fun Shoot with Domina Elle
I had a really fun shoot with the fabulous Domina Elle in Denver this summer and finally have the pictures up for this week’s update on the site. In the set, I show up rather cluelessly for an exam at her address and don’t have any idea what I’m getting into. Well, it involves an exam table with stirrups, rope and a leather gag. Here’s a preview of a few more shots from the full set. Thanks so much to the lovely Domina Elle, of course, and to Jodajen and Elle at Narcissistic Intentions, and to Goliath for the nice rigging, and to Wild Bill for generally helping out and being supportive. Enjoy!
Syren! at C. Frenz
It was a busy weekend here. Friday night was the monthly Club Fantasy party and I had a nice time hanging out with some of the regulars and also met a few new people. Then Saturday my friend Kim and I went to the most recent Syren! event held at a nice club in the San Fernando Valley called C. Frenz. I’ve never been there before, though it’s right across the street from Mistress Cyan’s dungeon, called Sanctuary, where I’ve been many times.
C. Frenz turned out to be a really nice club with quite a bit of space. During the week it’s a gay bar but Syren! took over for their event and there was a very mixed crowd there, with quite a few trans girls. I saw a lot of familiar faces and met a few new people and had a really nice time.
There was a photographer named Ryan Beyer also, who’s very talented and does some fabulous work. He was running around with this big scoop on the front of his camera and I figured it had to be a ring flash, so I went over and talked to him. He set up a photo area in the back and showed me how the flash works. By being circular, with the lens poking out through the middle of it, it takes pictures with absolutely no shadows, for a very unique look, sort of flat but with this weird “heightened” quality to the image. Once you recognize what it does, you’ll see ring flash pictures everywhere, as it’s a very popular look in fashion photography. Here’s a sample shot that he took. He also had some side lighting going on to give those highlights on either side of the subject. Well, I love to geek out on this sort of thing and had a nice time chatting with him. All in all, a fun weekend.
Hoarders on A&E
This is a totally non-kinky post today. Lately I’ve checked out a few of the episodes of Hoarders on A&E, about people who compulsively fill their houses with junk and never throw anything away. I have a good friend who’s had this problem for years and it only seems to get worse as the years pass. If you’ve ever dealt with a family member or friend with this condition you know how frustrating and bewildering it can be. You want to just talk reason with them. It seems like such an obvious problem and so easy to fix if they’d just throw things out. But they won’t and no amount of reasoning will budge them. You can help them clean out the house and in two months it’s back to where it was. The house is just a symptom of a deeper underlying mental disorder, a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that plugs into issues such as loss and abandonment, and which can be incredibly hard to treat. Anyway, it’s a very good series and they have some preview clips and episodes online at the link above.
Delta Stewardess Outfit
I just got back from Atlanta for a few days, visiting my parents, and flew back to L.A. on Delta airlines. They have this really fabulous red dress that some of their stewardesses wear. By the way, I just looked up how to spell “stewardesses” and learned that it’s the longest word that you can type with only the left hand (I guess there’s a bad joke somewhere in there about that right hand.) ;-)
Anyway, the stewardessses on this flight didn’t look exactly like these fashion models, but they were still pretty easy on the eyes. I wish you could buy this dress online. It would be wonderful for a photo shoot!
SoCal Fires
We’ve been having some pretty miserable conditions here in Southern California the last few days, with the fires nearby in the mountains and temperatures hitting 100 or higher in many areas. I have a family member who refers to Southern California as the ninth circle of hell and on days like this it seems he might be right.
Really Tight Elbows
This week’s update was really intense. I recently shot a set with Chainguy, using hemp rope, and we did a tie that was one of the most stringent I’ve ever been in. As you can see in the second picture, the wrist tie was knotted off to my elbows, which were lashed together nearly touching. Then the elbow rope was run up to the tight collar around my neck, with some tension to keep me from struggling too much, and a tight waist rope was added after that. Then my legs were tied and I was silenced with a ballgag. There was no way at all I was ever going to get free of this on my own, and it was an incredibly sexy feeling! I’ll have the full set up on the site later tonight.
