All posts by Sandra

computers, life in general

Red Wig and Dress

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Well, I finally got around to that set with the red hoodie dress and red wig. It was a very strict and intense duct tape bondage and as the set progresses I also get blindfolded, which was a real turn on ;-) Here are a couple of “extra” shots below that didn’t make it in. I’ll be posting the full set on Friday for this week’s update.

More Computer Crap – I finally got the computer all back up and running over the weekend after that nasty computer virus. On the plus side, the computer’s probably running about as well as it ever does. It’s always so peppy after a clean install! I took a friend’s advice and made a cloned copy of the “C” drive onto an external hard drive, and I’m adding a larger “D” drive, so I’ll make a second cloned copy on the old drive just for extra insurance. If I get nailed again theoretically it should be fairly easy to copy the clone back to the “C” drive and be back up and running without the hassle of re-installing Windows and all those programs, some of which are so bloated.

I’m kind of freaked out now about going online though. I’ll probably start using Firefox more, as it’s “supposed” to be a bit safer than IE, though it’s debatable. Apparently more and more viruses are being written to target Firefox as it becomes more popular. It’s funny, though, are there kids out there who have the secret desire to grow up and be computer virus programmers? (“I want to mess up people’s computers and extort money from them! That’s what I want to do!”) I guess the answer’s yes.

While re-installing all my software I noticed too how many programs there are that, as a service, make a database of all the crap on your computer, thereby nicely slowing it down – a special feature, just for you! Nero is one of the biggest offenders, with Nero Scout. Why would I possibly want some CD burning software to index everything on my computer and run in the background doing it’s thing? Thankfully with a little work, you can shut down all these processes, but they’re all so unnecessary to begin with.

Okay, I’ll take a deep breath, and hopefully no more computer news for a while. I’ve obviously had this stuff on my mind way too much! Bondage would be much more preferable ;-)



computers, life in general

These Computers

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Well, Happy New Year, everyone! I was determined to get back to L.A. and get right back to work…and then I caught a computer virus. Yikes, these things are nasty! (The blog and the website, of course, are perfectly fine, as they’re on a server somewhere out there). But my home computer got hit hard last night, with one of those bogus spyware viruses that cause all those scary pop up windows to take over your computer. I’m not normally in favor of capital punishment, but the people who make these viruses definitely make me re-think it (spammers too).

I used a good free program called MalwareBytes that was able to eliminate the worst of the virus and allow me to use the computer again, but there are still mystery files that show up every time I run a scan. I was using Bitdefender but it obviously didn’t catch this thing. I’m really not even sure how I got it. I was checking out a photographer’s work on the Deviant Art site, and there may have been something on there, but I can’t say for sure. Well, it looks like I’ll be re-installing Windows XP tonight or tomorrow. And I’ll probably go with a new antivirus software, probably Nod32, and will probably pay for the “pro” version of MalwareBytes. I hate to waste a day or two with this kind of stuff, but what’s one to do?

Be careful out there. It’s a scary world.

life in general, movies

Winding Down

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I hope everyone’s having a nice final week of the decade. I’m having a nice time with the family in Atlanta and had a nice evening yesterday seeing “No Country for Old Men” with my Dad on cable TV. I’d seen it once last year but enjoyed it even more this time. It’s really brilliant and the themes of aging and the randomness of the universe really resonated. (Spoiler alert following). One of my favorite moments is when the young wife refuses to call the killer’s flipped coin, and she basically tells him that the coin doesn’t mean anything, it’s just you. I also love the irony of lawman Tommy Lee Jones (who normally always gets his man) never really figuring out anything in this one. It’s pretty dark and mournful but for the end of the decade it just felt perfect and gave my Dad and I plenty to talk about for the next hour.

Back to L.A. on Friday and back to work for the new year. Have fun tomorrow night!

life in general

Happy Holidays

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I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has had a nice time today. I’m not really a believer but was raised “sort of” Catholic, though it didn’t take (but I still ended up guilt-ridden anyway). My Dad never really went for it and my Mom was a convert who almost immediately regretted it. I have no problem with Jesus; it’s religion that gives me the willies. But I still often enjoy going to an Episcopalian service on Christmas Eve, especially if it’s in a big cathedral. They really put on a show and have some of the best music. One of my favorites is “In the Bleak Midwinter,” which you don’t hear too often, but it always brings a tear to my eye. Last night I went with a friend and we had a really nice time, and it was really good for us both to get out and not be alone.

Then I’m going to Atlanta soon for a few days to see my parents and am looking forward to hanging out and watching the New Year’s Eve shows with my Dad. It looks like Kathy Griffin is going to be back again this year on CNN, with Anderson Cooper and Lance Bass. I just love her. Here’s a clip on YouTube from last year when the open mike caught her dealing with a heckler – funny stuff!

life in general

Oldies

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I was doing some housecleaning tasks on the website the other day and got to looking at some old galleries from years ago. There were a few old favorite pictures that I hadn’t seen in a long time and I went back and dug up the old files for them and re-edited a few at a larger screen size. It’s funny how small pixel-wise some of the original pictures were. There were a couple that were shot on a 2.7 megapixel camera – and heck, we were happy to have even that back then! I know it really wasn’t that long ago, about six or seven years, but it sure seems like it was ages. And looking at these pictures I get that feeling of, “Oh, to be that young again…” The years pass and where do they go? Time in a bottle, that winding road, blah blah blah.

Anyway, it was fun to see these old pics and to see them re-done in Photoshop and looking about as good as they’re probably ever going to look. That last one, by the way, was only from last year, but it just struck me as a neat picture with nice lighting, so I removed an extension cord on the garage floor with Photoshop to make it a little better.





life in general

Club Fantasy on Jan. 15th, THEN on Feb. 5th

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Whoops, I got totally confused on the Club Fantasy schedule, so I just deleted that previous post. Here’s the correct info: the next Club Fantasy party will be on Friday, January 15th, and then starting in February we’ll be moving to the first Friday of the month, starting on Friday, February 5th.

Right before the January 15th party there’ll also be an interesting-sounding presentation by Raven Kaldera called “Double Edge: The Transgender/BDSM Intersection” from 7 PM till 8:45 PM, with the party starting right after. I’ll be there and at the party.

Here’s some more information on the presentation. Hope to see you there.

date: Friday, January 15, 2010
time: 07:00 PM to 08:45 PM
where: The Threshold Society
address: Los Angeles, CA map
cost: $10 for workshop (party is separate)
dress code: Anything

Double Edge: BDSM and Transgender

From the man or woman who cross-dresses for the first time as part of a BDSM scene, to the transsexual who is trying to figure out which play parties they can attend, being transgendered in the BDSM scene is both a blessing and a challenge. At the same time, a remarkably high percentage of transgendered people identify with leathersex – why? We’ll discuss how BDSM roleplaying lends itself to gender play, struggle with the political implications of being gender transgressive perverts, talk about what happens to D/s roles when people change gender roles, and remind folks of what we have to teach the larger community. For transgendered folks of all stripes, their partners, friends and allies, and anyone who’s curious about the intersection of kink, power exchange, and the gender spectrum.

(Raven Kaldera is a queer FTM transgendered intersexual shaman. He is the author of too many books to list here, including “Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path”, and “Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships”. He and his slaveboy Joshua have been teaching and presenting workshops regularly for 6 years, bringing BDSM to the Neo-Pagan, Sex/Spirituality, transgender, and other communities.)

This workshop will segue into The Threshold Society’s Transgender Fantasy Party, for those who want to stay and play. The workshop fee is $10 per person. For party fees and information, contact my hosts.

Information about The Threshold Society is here: http://threshold.org/

Please pass this around to anyone who might be interested!

Thank you,

Raven Kaldera www.ravenkaldera.org www.pagansbdsm.org

life in general

More Blonde Sandra

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I’ll be posting another “white and peach” update late tonight with a set I did a few weeks ago at a friend’s house. I do like the all white and blond look though it can be tough to photograph if you’re not careful. All those highlights can burn out really easily. But my friend Chainguy did a nice job and cuffed me to a heavy fireplace stand and then brought out a tight black ballgag. Here are a few preview shots with me looking surprised.


life in general

New Ball Gag

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Here’s a shot from a recent shoot with this new ball gag I got from Hottbonds, while hanging out at Bizarre Bazaar a few weeks ago. This thing is about 2 1/2 inches in diameter and I can just barely get it in my mouth. I like how it looks but it’s pushing even my level of strenuous so I’m not sure how much I’ll shoot with it. It was a fun shoot though, using some new leather straps with Gromets, and the full set will go up sometime in the new year.

computers, life in general

F11 on IE

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All right, a total geek post today. I admit my favorite browser is still Internet Explorer, even though I know how much grief Microsoft gets, and much of it warranted, though I’ve never been a big hater on them – I like having relatively inexpensive computers that work, uh, pretty well, uh, most of the time (how’s that for an endorsement ;-) And I sometimes use Firefox and even Opera but I always come back to IE, and of course always download the security patches for it and have the latest version, as its security issues are well known. Still I like it.

A couple neat tricks on IE: If you hit the F11 key it makes all the borders and stuff disappear on your browser so all you see is the webpage you’re on. Try it if you haven’t – it’s pretty neat, and is great if your looking at a full size image that’s just slightly too big for your browser window. Hit F11 and you can see it all, and hit it again to go back to normal. Another nice trick is using the Backspace key, which acts just like the “back” button up on top. Hit “Shift-Backspace” and it acts like the forward arrow to go forward to a page you’ve already visited. Sounds confusing but do some back and forth and then use the shortcuts and it’ll make sense.

life in general, television

Curb

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A friend recently sent me the last couple seasons of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and I’m really enjoying it! I’d seen bits of the show before and don’t normally get to see much TV, and I’m always totally out of the loop on what’s current, but this one’s really hilarious. Larry David just makes you cringe. If you liked Seinfeld, it’s more of the same. In fact, they’ve been doing a Seinfeld reunion show this season, which I’m looking forward to seeing. There’s some clips on the link above if you haven’t seen it before, or don’t have HBO, like me.

life in general, los angeles

The Decade Winds Down

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I was reading an email where someone asked what have you accomplished in the last decade and how many more decades do you expect to have ahead of you? The latter is a particularly sobering question. I just talked to my Dad on the phone for his birthday, and although he’s doing okay, he’s old and I know that eventually I’ll get that inevitable phone call one of these days. For myself there are probably three, maybe four, decades left at best, though if I keep hiking and staying in shape I might be able to drag it out a bit longer. Of course, I won’t be modeling forever but do hope to keep taking bondage pictures of other girls for years to come. And as for what I’ve accomplished, probably the best thing I’ve done in my life so far is to start Trannies In Trouble back in 2003. I haven’t figured things out by any stretch, but it’s certainly the most successful thing I’ve done up to now and I’m very grateful for it and for the fans and customers who enjoy my pictures and videos.

For most of my life I’ve felt as if I’ve just been drifting along often lost and unsure, and I definitely still have those moments, but things have been more focused this decade than they ever were before. One thing that I’m still ambivalent about, though, is Los Angeles. I moved here in 2001 and may not have ever started my website if I hadn’t come here, so it was probably the right move. But on the other hand, L.A. can be such a grind to live in. It’s congested and dirty and there are so many people who are frustrated and angry and just getting by, so it can be a very tense and unpleasant place. Of course, if you were making a six figure income things could be a lot more comfortable, but at this point that ain’t me. I’ve been making contacts and spending more time in Denver this past year, though, and I suspect that I might be spending a lot more time there in the not too distant future. When I was there this summer, just the ease of driving and finding a parking space, having an apartment with some space to turn around in, and having smog-free skies with big puffy clouds was just wonderful, and I found a surprisingly active scene and some really nice clubs and a couple new models to shoot with in a relatively short time. After that I found myself asking what am I doing putting up with Southern California’s grind.

So all in all, the 00’s (what do they call this decade?) have been pretty good for me. I’ve had my lonely times and moments of doubt but compared to earlier decades this one has been pretty good. And I’m hopeful about the next one and where it will lead. We shall see.

life in general

Bizarre Bazaar 2009

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I had a really nice time at Bizarre Bazaar last Sunday and just got a picture from Gerry, the official photographer (aka Fuckin’ Gerry). I love that guy, with his huge camera (it’s really huge!) He’s at all the Fetish events and doesn’t have even an ounce of inhibition (wish you could bottle and package that trait!) My feet were sore so I was just hanging out for a breather at the Threshold table. I also bought a couple of huge ballgags from Hottbonds. They’re so big they make my jaw ache, but I’ll have to try to shoot with them soon and not give myself even worse TMJ ;-) The venue, Bar Sinister, was a cool place too and I got to see a lot of friends and people whom I only seem to see about once a year. A fun afternoon.

life in general

Hogtie Video on Ts in Trouble

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I recently posted a new hogtie video on Trannies In Trouble and have already gotten some really good feedback from it. It has a lot of gagtalk and an especially strict hogtie at the very end. Probably what makes it good is that I was really suffering when we made it and I think it shows. In fact I was even thinking of signaling to the cameraman to call it a day, but it’s probably good that I pushed on and endured ;-) At one point I’m kind of stuck between the couch and wall (the second pic below) and I’m actually pretty annoyed while I try to get into a better position. I was trying to talk to the camera man but he had no idea. After a few tries I was able to dislodge myself and get onto the floor, which was only somewhat better. Then at the very end we modified the hogtie so that each wrist was tied directly to each ankle – ouch, that was a tough one! I was really struggling by this point and again tried to communicate, but with the layers of medical tape over my lips and the big wad in my mouth I wasn’t doing too well. All in all, it was a really stringent and difficult tie and made for a nice six minute video. We all have to suffer for our art!





life in general

Favorite Red Wig

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Recently we shot some more pictures in this nice secretary outfit with my favorite red wig. Like I mentioned before there were some technical problems on the bondage pics we did a while back in this same outfit, though I’ll probably post some of them as a small future update. Here are a few extra non-bondage shots, though, from the recent shoot, and I’ll post the entire set, with some more tight elbow bondage and a strict modified hogtie, for Friday’s update. Enjoy!


life in general, los angeles, music

Ian Anderson Acoustic Concert

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The other night my friend Kim and I went to hear Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull in an acoustic concert here in L.A. Way back in my high school days I was a big Jethro Tull fan, back when they were in their prime (yeah, I’m that old), and I saw them a couple times in Denver in the late 70s, when they were awesome. Friday night’s concert was very good, though also a little bittersweet to see the inevitable passage of time. Ian Anderson’s voice is just a shadow of what it used to be, but he can still really rock out on the flute and acoustic guitar. There were about six other backup musician with him – not the usual Tull lineup, though their drummer did sit in on the bongos for a few tunes. The set list included some surprisingly obscure tunes. I’m not a “super fan,” like some of the people at the show who were just in heaven, but I’m pretty familiar with a lot of their stuff, so it was surprising to hear some “B” tracks that never even made it onto an album. They also played some compositions from some of the backup musicians, including a young woman on viola who was really amazing and quite cute too.

Kim and I didn’t dress for the concert, but ironically enough there were two crossdressers in the seats directly in front of us, so maybe we should have. It could have been the tranny corner. In any case, it was a fun show and definitely colored with nostalgia for me and reminders of one’s mortality and the relentless march of time. One thing that didn’t change, though, is they finished up with interesting and energetic acoustic versions of “Aqualung” and “Locomotive Breath,” which are the tunes they almost always wind up their shows with. And for a 62 year old guy they really rocked.

life in general, movies

Paranormal Activity

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I love horror movies and Paranormal Activity is one of the better ones I’ve seen, in the “less is more” camp and quite effective. It’s about a young couple who start to hear weird noises at night in their house and reluctantly begin to suspect that they’re being haunted. It’s amazing that it was shot for all of twenty thousand dollars with a video camera and actors who appeared to just be playing themselves. The couple can be a little annoying at times, but you get a real sense of their composure unravelling as things escalate. The comparison to The Blair Witch Project is inevitable, though I enjoyed this one much better than Blair Witch and there’s less shaky-cam in this one (though still quite a bit). If you’re going to see this, it’s best to see it in a crowded theater to get the audience reaction and also best not to watch the trailer beforehand. I watched it and wish I hadn’t, as there were scenes shown that I found myself waiting for. I think going in less prepared would probably heighten the tension. Definitely recommended.

life in general

Nitrous Oxide

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I was at the dentist the other day, getting a filling replaced. The sound of the drill always makes me anxious, so in addition to a good shot of lidocaine, they also gave me some nitrous oxide, through a breathing device over my nose. Man, that stuff is weird and not particularly pleasant! Within moments of inhaling, I was experiencing tunnel vision, spots before my eyes and a feeling of slipping away from reality. After about five or ten minutes, I found it so unpleasant that I had to wave to the dentist and let him know that we could continue without the gas. I know a lot of people find it very relaxing and feel giddy with it, but it was making me even more anxious from the sense of loss of control (I don’t miss the irony too that I’m into bondage but have this deep sense of anxiety over losing control). I’d forgotten how strange nitrous is, but I do remember taking it once as a child, and the dentist’s face looked like it was three feet high, and I had a sensation of falling backwards into the dental chair, which was expanding like a big marshmallow to swallow me up. As a child, I didn’t have the confidence to say that’s enough, so at the time I just endured the weirdness.

I’ve always been very sensitive to drugs, which often made it hard for me to enjoy smoking pot when I would occasionally do it years ago. Sometimes it would be pleasant, but more often than not, I would get anxious and paranoid. Or I would have this experience where all my worst judgmental thoughts about others and my own deep doubts about myself would come to the forefront, as though they were hanging right there in front of my forehead and I couldn’t look away. Not a pleasant experience, so I never did pot that often, and haven’t done anything like that in quite a few years now.