Last month I mentioned that I recently bought this stretchy size zero skirt that strangely enough fits me really well, and I know I’m no size zero! Well, I finally got to shoot some pictures with it and just wanted to post a few samples. I really love this skirt and am heading out in a moment wearing it to a party. As for these pics, I’ll post the full set of them for next week’s update, with some cool medical restraints.

(Update: thanks so much to everyone who’s written! The Secrets in Lace site is really amazing and has many more outstanding pictures like the ones below. I just might have to do some shopping there!)

I saw these amazing pictures the other day of this attractive lady in a stunning outfit and a fabulous girdle and I was wondering if anyone knows where these pictures come from? Are they on a paysite or someplace? I think I’ve seen other shots photographed in the same location but have no idea where they came from. If anyone knows, feel free to post the link as a comment, or you can email me directly from the “Email” link on my website. Thanks so much!

Last week I also went out to a bdsm club called The Denver Sanctuary and had a pretty good time. They were having a prom-themed party, so I dug out an old wine-colored dress that I brought for the occasion. They had a good photographer on hand named Tom Wilson who took some “prom” pictures, and I met some nice people. I’m hoping to get back out to the club on the 27th for their Gateway party, which is supposed to be well-attended.

Last Saturday I got dressed and went out to BJ’s Carousel here in Denver. It’s a nice little gay bar that has drag performers on the weekends and is apparently one of the local weekend TG hangouts. I’ve heard about the place for years but always put off going, since I hate to go out alone, but I actually had a really nice time. The place was friendly and relaxed and I met some nice girls, enjoyed the performers, and got heavily hit on by an older guy. He was nice and was kind enough to buy me a drink. We chatted and flirted for a while but I had to be honest with him and make it clear up front that I wasn’t going home with him, which he seemed okay with.

What was really interesting about the club is that in addition to lots of gay men it was primarily drag queens, which is a crowd that I generally don’t get to hang out with. The bar that I usually go to in L.A. is mostly crossdressers and TS girls, with only a few drag queens. Most of the queens were pretty flamboyant and some were really beautiful – and actually everyone I talked to was pretty nice and quite friendly. I hope I can get back there a few times before I leave, as I really enjoyed it.

On the way out, though, there was a disturbing incident. I was parked on the street and as I got into my car I noticed a car drive by just at that moment and then stop and pull into a lot a little ways ahead. I figured that maybe they were just waiting for my spot and would come back to get it after I left, but no, after I pulled out, they pulled in right behind me and started following me. This sort of thing is great for abduction fantasies but in real life it’s very disconcerting. I’ve only been followed a couple times in L.A. and it always shakes me up. So this time I just slowed way down and crept along, hoping that they would just give up. I never actually saw the guy (or guys), but he slowed down too and then as I fell way behind, he pulled off to the side and waited for me to pull up. Sure enough, as I passed, he pulled out again and started following. So this time I got into the left lane and just crept along at about 15 miles per hour. I was probably pissing everyone off behind me, but it seemed like drastic measures were called for. I just kept creeping along, and finally he passed and after a few more blocks turned off and left. I’m guessing that since I didn’t yell at him or try to engage him in any way he probably just lost interest – whatever he was up to. I breathed a little easier and headed back home. The really scary thing is that someone like this might be looking to beat up a tranny (or worse), or they may just be getting some cheap thrills by being a jerk. I didn’t want to find out and was glad to get home okay.

My friend Michael Keye recently sent me some terrific pictures that were in the LA Times – apparently in the Sunday magazine! These are really sexy and fetishy and one wonders how many impressionable young boys (or girls for that matter) are on their way to being full-blown fetishists after seeing these. I know I would have really noticed them when I was a kid. I guess it’s okay that they’re in the Sunday paper, but you do wonder. They could just as easily be on a rubber paysite. Oh well, very nice stuff in any case.

Vena and I have run into each other many times over the years and we finally had a chance to do a shoot at this year’s DomCon 09. We had a really fun time and I had a great time tying her up in her office manager outfit. Vena’s a terrific model and has done a lot of print work and runway shows, and she has her own site here. Here are a few samples from our shoot, and there are a few more on the Ts in Trouble What’s New? page – Enjoy!

I was in the bank the other morning waiting in line and up ahead I noticed a woman who immediately drove me mad. Overall, many guys would probably say she was nothing special – she was probably in her late thirties and had some curves on her frame and wasn’t that tall – but I found myself insanely attracted to her. She had on a full black skirt, almost pleated but not really, that fell around her hips and down to the back of her calves. The skirt had just a hint of shininess to it, and she wore pantyhose, and on her feet were a pair of black pumps that had to be at least four inches tall, maybe five. She was obviously used to wearing them, as she maneuvered around in them just fine. She had on a blue top that fit quite snugly, accentuating the little curves at her waist, and the sleeves were puffy at the shoulders. She had straight dark shoulder-length hair with bangs and glasses. I tried not to stare but my eyes just kept drifting back to her.

It’s funny but I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten a bit older that I find myself more attracted to women who have some curves on their figures – not actually fat, but just some extra meat to accentuate their form. I never was attracted to that type when I was young but for some reason I often find myself noticing women like that now, especially if they’re wearing office wear. A perfect example of that type among fetish models is JJ Plush, who’s really terrific and has done some excellent bondage pictures. Here she is in some girdle pictures.

As for the woman in the bank, if I was a bold kind of guy I would have actually talked to her and said something like, “Hi, I don’t normally do this and I’m not a psycho – in fact I’m on my way to meet a friend for lunch – but I just find you really cute and was wondering if I could have your phone number?” But, well, I’ve never been that kind of guy – if only! Of course, then there would be the inevitable conversation about wanting to tie her up, and then the old, “Oh, and I’m a crossdresser and like to be tied up too. That’s not a problem, is it?” Of course, it often IS a problem, but if you’re ever in that conversation it’s usually best to act like it’s no big deal. So I didn’t talk to her but she certainly showed up later in my daydreams. I’ll probably remember that moment trying not to stare at her for the rest of my life – another one of those mysterious women who gets burned into my memory.

Well, here I am in Denver. I made pretty good time and had a really nice drive through Utah, where they have all those amazing buttes and formations along I-70. The mountain passes in Colorado make me a little nervous, as my little four cylinder car just revs its way up them and I’m always afraid I’m going to burn out the engine. But I made it and have gotten settled in pretty well. Hopefully it’ll be a good couple months here with some new shoots and new friends.

Speaking of which, last night I dragged my best friend K. to a local dungeon here for an excellent bondage class. K. isn’t kinky but she’s a good sport and actually enjoyed it quite a bit. We went to a place called The Enclave, which is a beautiful facility and very large, and everyone we met was really friendly and nice. I’m hoping I can get back there a couple more times.

I’ve also heard from a few local t-girls for possible bondage shoots, but I’m always looking for more. There’s contact info. here if you’re in the area and interested.

Wow, not much blogging lately. I’ve been so busy and trying not to get too frazzled getting ready for my upcoming trip to Colorado. It’ll be a working trip, of course, and the website updates will continue on like normal. I’ve heard from a few local women there who want to do some photoshoots, so hopefully I’ll have some interesting sample shots to share before too long. But I’m having a tougher time finding TGs and TVs to shoot with. I know they’re there (since, heck, I used to live just down the road in Colorado Springs!), but the pool of potential models is of course smaller since Denver is much smaller than L.A. But hopefully I’ll hear from some new girls before too long.

In the meantime I’m busy packing and getting ready and trying to figure out which outfits to take. More news soon, I hope.

I’m going to be in Denver for all of June and July, and I’d love to hear from
any bondage riggers / photographers in the area, or attractive CDs/TGs who might be interested in modeling.

As for photographers, I often shoot with friends who are just into photography
but aren’t necessarily pro photographers, and I’ve often given rigging tips to
people who might feel a little shaky about their tying skills (not that I’m the
best by any mean!). So you don’t have to own a $6,000 Nikon and have the
bondage skills of Lew Rubens (but if you do, I’ll love you!)

Sometimes when I shoot I just do content trades, other times there might be money involved, though my budget is limited.

But I’d definitely love to hear from any photographers and potential models in
the area. And I’d also love to hear from anyone going to any of the clubs
there, such as BJ’s Carousel. I’m actually pretty shy and it’s always nice to have
someone to meet.

So feel free to leave a comment here for me to contact you or go to my website, look for the “Email” link and send me an email from there. I’d love to hear from you.

Also, here’s some more information on modeling and photography.

I’m basically going back there for a much-needed change of pace. I’m from Colorado originally and have always missed it. And although there’s a lot I like about L.A., Southern California has felt more and more oppressive the last couple years. So I’ve been thinking for quite a while of trying to arrange a longer stay back in Colorado. It’s going to go really fast and in no time I’ll be back, but I’m hoping it will be a good change and give me a new perspective on things.

Hey, I just tried out the new Google Chrome browser and it seems quite good – very fast and no-nonsense. Looks like they did a good thing there.

Other than that, just getting ready for the Club Fantasy party tonight. Hope to see all the regulars and a few new faces! What to wear?

I was out shopping earlier today and got a terrific new shiny skirt. When I saw it I figured there was no way it was going to fit, since it was a size zero. But it looked like I could maybe squeeze into it, so I tried it and it actually fit fine. Go figure! So now I have skirts from size zero to size 12 and they all fit. It just goes to show that clothing sizes really don’t mean much – they’re just vague guidelines that may or may not have much connection to real bodies. Funny how that works. Anyway, hopefully I’ll have some new pics with the skirt before too long – it’s a hot one ;-)

I’m updating the site a day early this week, with a cute set with Kyra chatting on the phone and then, silly girl, ending up all taped up on the sofa. Here are a couple previews. I’ll be out of town up in the mountains over the weekend – not tied up though ;-) So email will be a little spotty…Enjoy the pics!

I had a really fun shoot the other day and did some shots posing around and then applying my lipstick while cuffed and ballgagged. Here are a couple preview shots. As the set progresses I get tied with hemp rope and then finally have a pantyhose hood added, with electrical tape wrapped around my mouth. It was a very sexy feeling wearing this tight white structured girdle and longline bra and then being strictly bound and gagged. I’ll post the full set for this week’s update.

Well, every couple years the squirrels here eat through the phone lines and the internet goes kaput! So I’m using my neighbor’s laptop to upload this week’s update on the site, but I won’t be able to check email much at all till Monday, most likely. Again, I apologize to everyone whom I already owed an email to – it’s only going to get worse.

But hey, the next Club Fantasy party is coming up in about a week (Friday, April 17th)! I’m looking forward to it. We’ve had some pretty good turnouts the last few months and I’ll be bringing my bag of rope, as usual. Hope to see all the regulars and some new friends too!

I often feel so constrained in my day to day life, and I sometimes wonder what it would be like if somehow in a moment of divine insight everything were revealed – Everything: Is there really a God? How much of the Jesus myth is real? What end will come to my family and friends? Am I even remotely on a correct path, or just adrift? Do I really have any control over what I do, or am I endlessly acting out a behavioral loop set in childhood? Is there any real meaning or is it all random occurrence? And is there an inherent fallacy in even asking if there’s meaning?

But sometimes at two AM it’s hard to sleep, and my mind races, and just being alive can feel like a prison sentence. My gut tells me that it would be a horrible burden to know the answers to the above questions (and it ain’t gonna happen anyway, so there’s no point in worrying about it). But if by some miracle the opportunity came I don’t think I could resist. It would be like the choice between the colored pills in “The Matrix.” I would just want to know so badly. And to know would probably be to regret knowing. Well, it’s been a stressful couple weeks and I probably need a nice glass of wine and a bubble bath (if I had a bathtub).

It’s been a stressful week so I’ve been exercising a lot to keep my mood up. (And I’ve been really crappy at replying to email lately, so my apologies to everyone who’s written lately.) The other day I heard this terrific song from The Airborne Toxic Event called “Sometime Around Midnight” that really got to me.

Apparently it’s been out for a while but it’s very good. It really has that grandiose emotional feel of so many break-up songs, which can be embarrassing but here really works. They really capture the longing, loneliness, and impossibility of relationships. You can stream it on the band’s MySpace page or see the video on YouTube.

I had a fun shoot yesterday with Al from Popshot Pictures. We were able to shoot in a friend’s house and got a nice upscale look on this set. Here are a couple sample shots before the gear came out. I’m going to post the full set this Friday, which will include a tight armbinder and some leather straps and a ballgag. What could all that stuff be for?

I have a few non-bondage pictures on Flickr and have noticed something funny lately. I seem to get emails about once a month from guys, usually in other parts of the world, who write and say they’ve fallen in love with me and have to see me and who compare me to the sun and the stars and the beauty of the dawn. A few of them have seemed almost desperate even though we’re usually thousands of miles away. This is all very flattering (I think), but it’s also a bit crazy. The internet is all about fantasy and there’s no way that love is even remotely involved. Lust, yes, of course – lots of it. Love, no. Clearly these guys are just projecting their fantasies onto my image and are probably terribly lonely. I can relate to that but, hey, let’s not get carried away. I wonder too if some of this might be a cultural thing, as many of these guys live in countries far away where poetic expression might be more the norm in matters of the heart. Who knows? At least I hope that’s all it is.

The crazy thing is that so much of my tranny life is about illusion. Most of the time I live my life as a guy and I have the same ol’ daily drudgery to deal with as every else. It’s not all sexy clothes and bondage day in and day out. I’ve always had that transgender itch and yearning, wishing I’d been born female, but alas, I’m a guy and always will be. Even my transgendered feelings are primarily fueled by my own lust and sexual urges. We’ve all heard those horror stories of crossdressers who become obsessive and decide to go under the knife and then find that without all that testerone in their systems it just isn’t as much fun anymore.

I also have favorite internet models myself whom I have crushes on but I realize that it’s all just physical attraction. The models I admire are never going to be with me and the illusion I see is just that, an illusion. It doesn’t mean I still don’t enjoy looking at them and might be really thrilled if I meet one of them at a convention. But it’s not love and never could be. Though, of course, if one of these guys writing me really is a kidnapper, then maybe it could be love ;-) Okay, bad joke. I really don’t want a real-life stalker, though it would probably provide some good stories for the website.