I try to stay active, get exercise, and have projects to work on because otherwise I tend to get depressed more often than I like to admit. These things do help but I still find myself getting depressed sometimes even though life is going really well. I think for some people, depression is a part of their temperament (though some might say it’s just a habit.) I know that there have been medical studies indicating that the more depressive episodes one experiences during one’s life, the more prone that individual is to have further episodes in the future. Sort of a discouraging thing to hear for someone who’s been depressed many times since adolescence.
One of the crappy things about depression is that I’ll feel bad about feeling bad, like I “shouldn’t” be feeling down. I’ll tell myself, “What do you have to feel bad about? Life is good, you just started co-sponsoring a bondage party, and are running the bondage workshop, and taking lots of pictures for your website. You have your health and friends and family who love you and an active life – What the hell are you feeling down for?” And it’s like, “Yeah, that’s all true – isn’t it ironic that I feel depressed?” So telling myself that I should be feeling something different is about as useful as someone saying, “Cheer up” or “Snap out of it,” or my favorite, “Smile!” (And what’s really annoying is that sometimes when you do force yourself to smile, it really can give your mood a little boost.)
Current mood: A bit dark (but it’ll pass).
