I’m not very much into having sex with guys (heck, or with girls for that matter), but I’ve always found the fantasy of the male kidnapper to be a real rush – falling into the grasp of some guy who keeps me tied up in his basement and occasionally forces me to do awful things against my will. That’s a strong sexual fantasy for me. I’d say the closest I’ve come to it was when I met a guy a few years ago who went by the name of “Ringgag.” I’ve talked about my times with him quite a bit on the Trannies In Trouble website and had some very memorable scenes with him. I’ve heard from others who thought that he perhaps played at too risky a level of intensity, and he was a bit notorious on the bondage.com message boards, expressing strong opinions and ruffling some feathers. (Yeah, I’ll admit he could be a little bit obnoxious at times.)

Because he was from out of town I only got to play with him a few times, but they were very memorable. Oddly enough, we never actually had sex. But he had a strange and bizarre imagination when it came to bondage and he could create a strong atmosphere of control over another person. I’ve talked before about the scene we did where he tied me up and then folded me up inside a sofa sleeper that had had the mattress removed. Once inside it, he replaced the cushions and from the outside you would never know someone was in there. I stayed that way for over two hours and had no clue when I’d be let out or what he was up to.

Then one day he seemed to disappear. My emails went unanswered and that was it. A year or so later I learned from a mutual friend that he had passed away, though I never knew the details of how he died or much about his life beyond the kinky times that we had shared. I had mixed feelings when I heard the news. On the one hand, I still miss him a little. He was really talented. On the other hand, there was a part of me that always felt a little twinge of fear about getting together with him – that feeling of getting in over my head – which of course made it that much hotter. So a part of me thought (not that I wanted him to die), “Well, maybe it’s for the best that it ends with only good memories.” I still think about him though from time to time. He was very mysterious and I can’t say I ever figured out what he was all about.

It’s quickly nearing that time – the next Club Fantasy is coming up in a couple weeks, October 20th from 8 till 12:00 AM (though it usually runs later). Last month we had our biggest turnout yet with lots of girls tied up in the front room. Several people from outside of the immediate L.A. area even came out and braved the freeways. Mark your calendar!

Club Fantasy in North Hollywood, CA

It was another busy weekend. Saturday afternoon I went to the Threshold BBQ / potluck and ate way too much. Gotta love those turkey dogs! It was pretty nice just hanging out with people and taking it easy for a couple hours. Later my friends Bettie Cho and Chainguy showed up and we all stayed for the party that evening. I’d just bought a stainless steel nosehook from JT’s Stockroom and surprised Bettie with it once I had her in a tight hogtie. The hogtie’s a perfect position for using the nosehook, adding a thin cord to it to and running it back over the top of her head to pull her back and make her look like a little piggie. It’s truly diabolical. I then added a clothespin to each earlobe and caned her ass pretty well. And, heck, I’m not even into pain – no, really…

Later we did another tie on the big steel suspension cage they have there. Bettie was standing up with one leg tied up in the air so that she had to balance herself on her left foot. It was another excrutiating position for her and again I brought out the cane for her ass and thighs. I think Delilah must have corrupted me. The last time we did the webcam, Delilah caned Bettie so hard that she made her cry. And I have to admit that sick as it sounds, it was pretty neat. So it was a repeat performance and once again Bettie shed a few tears.

The downside of the evening was that the party was empty. There was such a small turnout that the energy level was pretty low. That gave us free reign of the place but I’d rather have it rockin’ and have some spectators to play too.

Then yesterday was the monthly bondage workshop, this time being presented by Miss Susan, who gave a great demo on her pseudo-Japanese style of tying and nerves and pressure points. It was really nice to be in the audience for a change. I’ve got to find more guest speakers for the future.

I haven’t been blogging much lately, but it was a pretty busy weekend. Friday we had the Club Fantasy party and had our best turn-out yet. It usually starts out slow but by ten or eleven it’s usually humming along with quite a bit of play. At one point there were four scenes going on in the big room and later a friend pointed out that every single one of the girls tied up was Asian. I hadn’t even noticed till it was mentioned. I guess if you’re Asian and you go to Club Fantasy, you’re getting your ass tied up!

Then Saturday night at the last minute I ended up once again going out to the Lodge with my friend Kim for the very last night before the club shut down for good. The weekend before we’d done the same and saw many of the same people. This Saturday though seemed like just about any other and by 12:30 or so we’d had enough.

Then Sunday I shot some pictures with Delilah for her site and had a lot of fun. We again did some outdoor public bondage. Delilah modeled and I shot the pictures. Whenever we do that I always have a feeling of dread and fear before we start and then once we’re doing it I forget all about my anxieties and just click away. Afterwards it’s such a feeling of relief and we’re usually laughing our heads off.

So this Friday, it’ll be the next Club Fantasy TG Bondage Party. I’m looking forward to it and have some ideas in mind for some bondage I want to try out. Or if I’m really lucky I’ll just get my own ass tied up. It’ll be from 8:00 PM till 12:00 AM (though it often runs late) at the usual spot in N. Hollywood. $10 at the door.

Here’s the info. page with details and the directions and so on. If you’re in the area, come on out!

Last night my good friend Kim and I went up to the Lodge for one of their final TG nights. They’ve apparently lost their lease and are set to close for good next weekend, so we wanted to see it one more time. I saw a lot of friends there, including “notorious” Bettie Cho and Beverly, who showed up with a friend just as we were heading out. It was a fun night and our friend Angie got pretty drunk and flashed her tits all over the place.

Kim and I took a few pictures before heading out.

I had a fun photoshoot today with my friend Paul (aka Chainguy) up in the beautiful San Fernando Valley. We spent the better part of the day shooting at the Sanctuary Dungeon, owned by Mistress Cyan, who’s the nicest person you could meet (just don’t let anyone know or it could ruin her rep.) It was great to shoot in a brand new location and mix things up a bit. We did some stuff with a cruel pair of wooden stocks and lots of, well, chain (hence, the nickname). It was quite a different look for me and came out really nicely I thought. Here’s one of them with some nice lighting. I’ll put more up on the site in a few weeks.

It was a really busy and fun weekend here. I had agreed to volunteer to work all day at the “Carnal Carnival” event Saturday and I woke up early with a groan, thinking, “What have I done?” but the day really turned out to be pretty fun. I spent most of the day working in the throw-darts-and-break-a-condom room, and really enjoyed hanging out with some fellow Threshold members whom I’m very fond of. Volunteering for the event got me much more involved in it and socializing with people more than I normally would have if I’d just gone on my own. I was beat by the end of the day so called it an early night.

Then this afternoon I had a really great time with the rope bondage workshop. Usually I’m a little nervous at the start, but this time it seemed to flow pretty well, and I think everyone enjoyed seeing cutie Bettie Cho put into numerous strict hogties. I got into it so much that the demo portion went well into the second hour, and I had more stuff we could have done, but needed to let everyone take a break and then enjoy some freeform practice time. The turnout was maybe a little smaller than usual but it was probably the best workshop I’ve had yet. I love when it goes well.

Well, this Sunday I’ll be hosting the next rope bondage workshop in N. Hollywood and I’m planning to demonstrate some tight hogties on a certain victim, er, volunteer (Hmm, who could that be?) I’m looking forward to it, so if you’d like to do some tying or get tied up, come on out this Sunday afternoon:

Rope Bondage Workshop at HollywoodLand Studios

Sunday August 27, 2006
4:00 pm – 6:00 pm

Hollywoodland Studios
11300 Hartland St.
North Hollywood, CA 91605

Map: http://tinyurl.com/fnwd7

Notes:
Open to all interested members of the BDSM Community. Join Sandra to
learn the basics as well as some new tricks! $5 for Threshold
members and affiliates, $10 for non members, proceeds going
to Threshold.

I try to stay active, get exercise, and have projects to work on because otherwise I tend to get depressed more often than I like to admit. These things do help but I still find myself getting depressed sometimes even though life is going really well. I think for some people, depression is a part of their temperament (though some might say it’s just a habit.) I know that there have been medical studies indicating that the more depressive episodes one experiences during one’s life, the more prone that individual is to have further episodes in the future. Sort of a discouraging thing to hear for someone who’s been depressed many times since adolescence.

One of the crappy things about depression is that I’ll feel bad about feeling bad, like I “shouldn’t” be feeling down. I’ll tell myself, “What do you have to feel bad about? Life is good, you just started co-sponsoring a bondage party, and are running the bondage workshop, and taking lots of pictures for your website. You have your health and friends and family who love you and an active life – What the hell are you feeling down for?” And it’s like, “Yeah, that’s all true – isn’t it ironic that I feel depressed?” So telling myself that I should be feeling something different is about as useful as someone saying, “Cheer up” or “Snap out of it,” or my favorite, “Smile!” (And what’s really annoying is that sometimes when you do force yourself to smile, it really can give your mood a little boost.)

Current mood: A bit dark (but it’ll pass).

The first evening of our newly re-vamped Club Fantasy – now being presented as a TG Bondage event – went pretty well last night. The evenings always start out slow but by ten o’clock it was humming along pretty well and I saw a lot of bondage going on. I started off by putting my friend Bettie Cho in a couple super-tight hogties (she always has such a dull time at these things), and then attaching my friend Sharon Porter to the St. Andrews Cross for an endurance wearing some painfully tight high heels. Later I met a couple nice girls I’d been corresponding with off and on for a long time – Missy and Miki (Oh, and tied them up too). And I also got to tie up the lovely Louann from CD Bondage, whom I hadn’t seen in a really long time and who was wearing a beautiful long blue gown.

I hope I can continue to build up attendance at the parties. They’ll be once a month, every third Friday of the month in North Hollywood, CA. And if you’d like to be added to the email list just send me an email or just leave a comment with your addy (I’ll delete it once I get it.)

The next bondage party is Friday, September 15th.