I’m not very much into having sex with guys (heck, or with girls for that matter), but I’ve always found the fantasy of the male kidnapper to be a real rush – falling into the grasp of some guy who keeps me tied up in his basement and occasionally forces me to do awful things against my will. That’s a strong sexual fantasy for me. I’d say the closest I’ve come to it was when I met a guy a few years ago who went by the name of “Ringgag.” I’ve talked about my times with him quite a bit on the Trannies In Trouble website and had some very memorable scenes with him. I’ve heard from others who thought that he perhaps played at too risky a level of intensity, and he was a bit notorious on the bondage.com message boards, expressing strong opinions and ruffling some feathers. (Yeah, I’ll admit he could be a little bit obnoxious at times.)
Because he was from out of town I only got to play with him a few times, but they were very memorable. Oddly enough, we never actually had sex. But he had a strange and bizarre imagination when it came to bondage and he could create a strong atmosphere of control over another person. I’ve talked before about the scene we did where he tied me up and then folded me up inside a sofa sleeper that had had the mattress removed. Once inside it, he replaced the cushions and from the outside you would never know someone was in there. I stayed that way for over two hours and had no clue when I’d be let out or what he was up to.
Then one day he seemed to disappear. My emails went unanswered and that was it. A year or so later I learned from a mutual friend that he had passed away, though I never knew the details of how he died or much about his life beyond the kinky times that we had shared. I had mixed feelings when I heard the news. On the one hand, I still miss him a little. He was really talented. On the other hand, there was a part of me that always felt a little twinge of fear about getting together with him – that feeling of getting in over my head – which of course made it that much hotter. So a part of me thought (not that I wanted him to die), “Well, maybe it’s for the best that it ends with only good memories.” I still think about him though from time to time. He was very mysterious and I can’t say I ever figured out what he was all about.
How did you get to meet him?
I saw some of his stuff on your site and bondage.com. It seemed like, besides bondage, he was into body transformation and other edgy things. I always liked his stuff, but was…maybe frightened/disgusted by it.
I know what you feel about the fascination with and the appeal of the male kidnapper.
Hi Kate, he saw my profile on bondage.com several years ago and sent me an email. We talked some through email and on the phone a few times, and then when he was travelling we finally had the chance to meet and it went from there…I know what you mean about being “frightened/disgusted” by some of the things he did. He played pretty heavy.
I am sorry for your loss Sandra. I was told by a wise woman, “It isn’t the length of life that counts, but the quality.”
Hopefully your friend lived a quality life, and you were made better by having him as a friend.
Besides being frightened and disgusted, I was turned on by what he did to you. In my opinion, you never looked better dressed or in bondage. The wraps, the hogtie on the window sill, the tie to the head board with the ring gag: he brought out the best in you. I think he also did a series of photos in which you changed from a man’s suit to being dressed? I think it was in his bondage.com profile? Very sexy to see the transformation. I can see where your ambivalence about what happened to him may come from. He seemed to have a real strong connection to you. Enough amateur analysis.
I wonder why you decided now was the time to write something about him?
Hi Kate,
It’s funny, I guess Ringgag’s been a bit more on my mind the last few months. Apparently from what I can gather he probably died fairly suddenly a few months after that sofa sleeper scene that we did, I think in early ’05.
He did make a big impression and there was definitely a connection there, even though in many ways he was also a big mystery to me. He kept a lot of his life hidden, which is obviously pretty common for kinky people, and he was not an easy person to read.
For a while I wasn’t sure if I should write anything about him or not, that maybe I’d be revealing too much. But I finally wanted to share some of my thoughts, and obviously I’m not revealing anyone’s real identity, so I figured I’d take a chance.
It’s very rare that you meet someone or play with someone who really can touch you deep down in your kinkiness. It’s also rare to meet someone with such a creative and even bizarre imagination. He was one of a kind.
As you well know, if you know his real name and where he lived, you could probably find out what happened to him. But that might just satisfy your curiousity and resolve nothing.
I did wonder a bit what had happened to ringgag, and this is a real shame.
The pictures of what he did to you have always been some of my favourites, and hit a lot of my hot spots.
As you said, he had a special imagination that’s hard to find.
Ringgag and I emailed back and forth a few times serveral years ago. I think my tastes were a bit too tame for him. I’m sorry to hear that he passed away.
-Vickie
Hi Vickie,
He was apparently a pretty busy guy when he was with us. I always imagined that he had all sort of “slaves” all over the country waiting for his next visit.
OMG,
My search for Ring has come to a sad SAD end. I’ve been looking for
him since I first saw some of his work that he and Mistress Kayla did
to “wendy”. I’ve been unable to find EITHER Ring OR Mistress Kayla.
I guess in the end, I found Ring, but not the way I would have liked to
have found him. Now I guess the search continues for Mistress
Kayla (or RachaelTsus)
With Love,
Hope
Hi all,
I believe I was the ‘mutual friend’ that gave Sandra the news about ringgag.
I had been in correspondence with him and traded emails with Sandra about him as well — more or less checking into him before I met him in person.
He also referred me to a couple more of his girls — they were featured in the multitude of photos he had on his bondage.com profile — and while they both had responded in great depth and enthusiasm, they also stopped responding to me right when ringgag went silent. I’m about 95% certain that he was posing as both of them. I believe Mistress Kayla was largely a fabrication as well.
I knew ringgag’s mailing address so after months of nothing from him, a Google search yielded his identity and more searching led me to an announcement about his memorial service. From everything I could gather, it was likely a suicide.
He had told me that his wife had been killed some time ago and that he didn’t have any children but his obit said he had been married for quite some time with several school-aged kids. While I understand why he’d want to keep his family life a secret, I’ve always wondered how much they learned about his kinky side before or after he was gone.
He traveled a lot on business so it was pretty easy for him to meet up and play with others far from prying eyes. I’m sure his wife had almost no idea what he was up to — can you imagine the shock of finding out after his death?
He was definitely very smart and skilled…. Had a paramedic background which would explain some of the elaborate breath and water play scenes.
I know that a good percentage of the pictures he posted were authentic but it’s clear a decent amount were stolen and/or Photoshop-ed.
After all this time, I have to say I still really wonder about him and his family. I think all of us that aren’t completely out with our kinkiness (including yours truly) have a fear of passing unexpectedly and having our family and friends finding a lot of scary stuff in our respective closets – without the opportunity to explain.
For his family’s sake, I hope they didn’t find out about some of this the hard way.
And since it seems like he did take his own life, you also have to wonder about the circumstances that led to this. Did he end up seriously injuring one of his play partners? Was someone blackmailing him? Did his wife find out and threaten to leave? Or was his extreme kinkiness an outgrowth of some severe, long-standing unhappiness?
We’ll never know. And like Sandra, I miss him but also feel like it was maybe all for the best that he is no longer in my life.
Jennifer
My name is Wendy Winters and I knew him as well. He and a mysterious woman who went by the name Mistress Kayla Hale had a profound impact on my life which was mentioned above by Hope. I lost touch with both of them at the same time and at least now I know what I thought happened is true.