I have a few non-bondage pictures on Flickr and have noticed something funny lately. I seem to get emails about once a month from guys, usually in other parts of the world, who write and say they’ve fallen in love with me and have to see me and who compare me to the sun and the stars and the beauty of the dawn. A few of them have seemed almost desperate even though we’re usually thousands of miles away. This is all very flattering (I think), but it’s also a bit crazy. The internet is all about fantasy and there’s no way that love is even remotely involved. Lust, yes, of course – lots of it. Love, no. Clearly these guys are just projecting their fantasies onto my image and are probably terribly lonely. I can relate to that but, hey, let’s not get carried away. I wonder too if some of this might be a cultural thing, as many of these guys live in countries far away where poetic expression might be more the norm in matters of the heart. Who knows? At least I hope that’s all it is.
The crazy thing is that so much of my tranny life is about illusion. Most of the time I live my life as a guy and I have the same ol’ daily drudgery to deal with as every else. It’s not all sexy clothes and bondage day in and day out. I’ve always had that transgender itch and yearning, wishing I’d been born female, but alas, I’m a guy and always will be. Even my transgendered feelings are primarily fueled by my own lust and sexual urges. We’ve all heard those horror stories of crossdressers who become obsessive and decide to go under the knife and then find that without all that testerone in their systems it just isn’t as much fun anymore.
I also have favorite internet models myself whom I have crushes on but I realize that it’s all just physical attraction. The models I admire are never going to be with me and the illusion I see is just that, an illusion. It doesn’t mean I still don’t enjoy looking at them and might be really thrilled if I meet one of them at a convention. But it’s not love and never could be. Though, of course, if one of these guys writing me really is a kidnapper, then maybe it could be love ;-) Okay, bad joke. I really don’t want a real-life stalker, though it would probably provide some good stories for the website.
When I worked in a neighborhood bar in Cambridge, MA, that was founded my my grandfather, an Irish immigrant, my aunt would always use her fake Irish brogue to chat with the real Irish and of course on Saint Patrick’s Day, which ironically is a holiday in the Boston area, called Evacuation Day, because that was the day the Americans chased the British out of Boston, would get drunk on green beer eat a lot of corned beef sandwiches, and sing Irish songs with the most awful voices and fake accents you ever heard.
My uncle who for the most part was an idiot used to laugh and say, “The further away you move from Ireland the more Irish you seem to get.” Which is still true, since the Irish leave their country to get out of poverty, find good jobs and live the drream life Americans have.
So my guess the further away the dream girl or guy is, the safer it is to lust for her or him. It is so odd that we can never quite find our perfect partner on the web that lives close by. I haven’t anyway especially that gorgeous woman that wants to spend the day bound and gagged in sexy outfits….
I have been know to crossdress in the past and from very young as well, but unfortunatly very little these days, I think that you represent what a lot of us would like to be but arent able to.
I am not gay but I do love the thought of a man being under that clothing, who knows why, maybe its because I know how you feel and love the DID mode as much as you.
Maybe the guys who just see you on flicker, also admire your look, it is incredibily sexy, so keep up the good work Sandra, there is no one else like you………
Aw shucks, thanks so much, Carol, you’ll make me blush :-) I appreciate your kind words…And I certainly know what you mean about the excitement of the “man being under that clothing.” There is indeed a certain extra tension and excitement about a male being made up to look just like a woman (or as close as we can get to the ideal)…
Its true Sandra, you have evolved over the years, I love the slighty larger tits and the nipples…………..
Wish I was nearer to you in the world, I have lots of wicked ways of making a girl suffer……………….Still I can dream darling…..
Ooo, you’re going to pique my interest with a comment like that – “lots of wicked ways of making a girl suffer” ;-)
Thanks so much, dear, for your nice words…