A couple days ago I got dressed in my more casual daytime look and drove down to West Hollywood for the Transgender Day of Remembrance memorial service. This was the third one I’ve been to and obviously they’re always sad and rather depressing, honoring and reading the names of trans people who were killed over the course of the year. It was a nice service with some really talented musical performers and I saw quite a few people whom I know, but it did go on a bit long. I hate to sound negative, but I found myself inevitably comparing it to the service I heard last year in Colorado Springs (my old hometown), which seemed to hit all the right notes in just under an hour. I’m glad I went though and showed my support for the community.

I also wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here in the States who celebrated today. The memorial earlier in the week is always very sobering but I do try to remind myself just how good I have it, especially to have friends and family who care for me, and all the many members and great people I’ve worked with over the years who support my website. I’m sure I’ll write more later but I’ll admit it’s been a pretty good year. Of course I have the kind of personality that’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop but I do remind myself to be grateful. I know so many people for whom things are so much worse, especially some of the crossdressers who sometimes write, feeling very alone with their gender feelings and their kinks and lifestyle. I can relate to a lot of what I’ve heard over the years, of course, and wish peace of mind and lots of fun to everyone out there. It can be tough but sometimes it can also be pretty darn fabulous!

So last Saturday my friends Ronda and Krystle and I went to this crazy haunted house in downtown L.A. called Blackout. Delilah had told me about it earlier but had to attend the week before and refused to comment about it afterwards, which was for the best as it only increased my anxiety level. In fact, if you’re in NYC or L.A. and ever want to go, you probably should skip this post as it is best to go in with as little input as possible. It was a lot of fun although the build up and anticipation were probably 60 percent of the experience. It’s billed as an “extreme” haunted house, where you walk through alone, sign a waiver beforehand, and have the option of using a safeword if you get too freaked out. All this, along with the creepy waiting area beforehand where horrible white noise is cranked out at an unnerving volume left me feeling very unsure about the whole thing as we nervously waited in line.

Ronda and I both dressed in our schoolgirl outfits (sorry, no good pictures to show) and we were warned by the serious guy greeting us that our outfits might be trashed by the end of it. But there was no turning back so we continued on. Once inside it was quite disorienting and creepy, with minutes left standing in pitch dark (very effective) and getting dragged along from room to room by unseen hands. There was a lot of physical contact, nakedness and touching (though I was really hoping to be seriously groped!) and there’s definitely a sexual undercurrent to much of it, including some bondage and a couple girls with tape over their mouths (loved those rooms!) Also for any straight guys who have insecurities about their sexuality this is definitely NOT for them! I had a great time and felt so relaxed and giggly when it was over after the release of all that tension. My biggest fear was that I might safeword out of it but once I was in for the ride I knew that I’d make it through okay regardless of what happened. Actually they could have ramped up the intensity a few more notches and I would have gladly paid even more. It was a fun night, and with the West Hollywood street party just a few days beforehand it turned out to be a great Halloween!

My friend Kim and I had a great time the other night at the super-gay West Hollywood Halloween party. This is the second time that I’ve gone and getting there early is really the way to do it, as things only get more packed and crazy the later it goes. They estimated about 400,000 people this year on Santa Monica Blvd. It’s good fun just walking around and checking out the show, and although wearing low heels is not as sexy, it really is a must. Last year I made the mistake of wearing four inch heels (yeah, I know four inches ain’t that high, but try walking on pavement for three hours in them and you’ll be in real agony).

There were lots of lovely ladies out too – it seems almost all commercially made women’s costumes are required to be prefixed with the word “sexy.” And I got lots of lingering eye contact from many guys as I strolled along in my sissy maid’s outfit. (I have no idea what was possibly going through their minds.) One guy came up with a friend and wanted to take a picture and I found myself suddenly in an intimate full-body hug. It was one of those, “Wow, I’m Really being hugged” moments. Oh, also the guys with the Aztec themed costume below do an amazing job. Last year they did the L.A. County Morgue set-up. Definitely worth a visit if you’re in SoCal this time of year.

Well, it’s been a busy one here and this next week is going to ramp things up even more. I’ll be heading down to Long Beach for a concert tomorrow with my friend Kim, and although I’ll just be in boy mode for that hopefully I’ll have time to write a little more about it later. Then there will be a couple more photoshoots including the one I mentioned earlier with Sissy Paige with whom I’ve emailed off and on the last year or so. (Just had a great time seeing Sybil last weekend!) And then it’s off to the Kinky Kollege convention to help my friend Ms. Diana who’s been asked to speak there. I’ve never been to that convention before but have some new outfits I’m really looking forward to wearing, and I’ll be slipping away one afternoon to see Ohphelia and Cincher again. I hope Ohphelia catches me dressing again and berates me – she’s very good at it!

Sometimes when I talk about how busy things are, I worry that it sounds like I’m showing off, which isn’t my intention. I actually really prefer when things are kind of slow and spread out, but sometimes everything piles up and you just have to do it while it’s there. I tend to get stressed when it’s one thing after the other, so I try to plan things out in as much detail as I can beforehand and then ride through it. But hey, I know I am going to get tied up at least once (and probably more) so how stressful can it be?

So the shoot yesterday was a lot of fun, shooting with a pretty young model named Nikki; I’ll probably be posting the full set of her pics here later next week where she plays a pro domme with a strong submissive side who ends up bound and cleave gagged with a pair of panties shoved in her mouth to quiet her.

Checking into the hotel went great too! I showed up already dressed and was a few minutes before the 3:00 PM check in time. Since they were still cleaning the rooms the nice lady at the counter gave me a free upgrade to one of their penthouse rooms, something I wasn’t expecting at all. So we were in the lap of luxury and later after Nikki left I hung out for a while watching a rerun of “House” (I seem to only watch TV regularly when I’m in hotels for some reason) and then got to sleep in the super-comfortable king-size bed. Not so bad for earlier feeling nervous about the whole thing; nice when things work out.

So I’ve been planning some hotel shoots with some new models for the website, shooting in the next couple months. One of my least favorite things to do is to show up dressed (in a more “regular” everyday kind of outfit) at a hotel and walk up to the frontdesk to check in. I’ve only done it a few times and have never had any trouble but it’s always one of those “take a deep breath and let’s do this” kind of moments. People always say, “Oh, but you pass so well.” But believe me, I don’t. If there is any doubt, it certainly vanishes the minute I open my mouth. Or when I pull out my drivers license. But some things have to be done so you do them. And usually there’s a great feeling of relaxation once I’m safely in the room and realize that no rioting ensued ;-)

Things like that always make me nervous though, similar to how I’ll often consider what I would do if I were stopped by the police while driving around dressed (just be respectful and as honest as possible and pray not to be arrested) and how I almost always carry back-up male clothes and makeup remover in the trunk when I go out, just in case. Only once did my car ever break down and ironically enough it was on Halloween, so when the AAA guy showed up it was no big deal at all. And I was wearing sort of a domme outfit, so he just looked at me and got to work changing the tire. Anyway, just the average worries of being an out and about crossdresser.

My friend Kim and I went out to the Oxwood Inn last night for their weekly Club Shine tranny night. I’ve said this numerous times here on the blog but nights out at bars are weird. We had a pretty good time, but for me it was better earlier in the evening. As the night goes on there’s more alcohol in people and things get louder and more unpleasant. A guy I’ve known for years also got annoyed at me as I declined his offer to buy me a drink and then later confronted me as I went back a few minutes later to get my own drink (just OJ, as I was the designated driver). Maybe I should have waited a little longer but I didn’t realize I was being watched. To be honest, I’m not thrilled when guys offer to buy me drinks, and I almost always say no, unless they’re friends whom I know don’t have any ulterior motives. With this guy, he’s fine, but yeah, there’s always that sense when he’s talking to me that he wants more, and I’m not interested; it’s just a little bit uncomfortable.

Later, when we finally left at 12:30 the bar area was packed and you could only get out by taking a few steps here, a few there, till you finally got to the door. One guy was intent on getting through and literally pushed people ahead of him as he muscled his way across the room. By that point I’d had way more than enough. Although Saturday night is the happen’ night at “the Ox,” I much prefer the Thursday karaoke night, which is more laid back, with far less aggression and sexual tension in the air, and hey, singing! So although this post sounds like the evening was a total bummer, really it was okay and good hanging out with my friend and getting to talk earlier in the evening. Still, it’ll probably be six months before I go back on a Saturday ;-)

Here I am smiling but not totally comfortable…

Well, I was really stretching on that last blog post, so let’s post a picture! This is from the second scene that Jewell Marceau and I shot a couple months ago and it was incredible being tied up, gagged, and bossed around by her. Later she turns me towards that mirror to practice my dildo cock-sucking, since our relationship will be taking a turn now that she finds herself stuck with a husband who’s a secret submissive crossdresser (if only!) The full set of pictures should be going up this Friday and there’ll be another long video going up a few days later.

Wow, not much blogging lately. I’ve just been really busy as usual with that ol’ familiar feeling of but-what-am-I-getting-done? There are some more photoshoots coming up, and last week I was able to get away with friends to the Oxwood Inn again for karaoke – it had been a while. My friends did great but when I got up to do The Beatles’ “I Am the Walrus,” (me staring at the monitor below) I immediately realized the key was just a little higher than I would have liked, so I really had to push to get through it, not much fun, and strangely I’ve had a much easier time with that song in the past. Still, it’s always fun to hang out, and some of the singers there are really good.

We also had a nice turnout at the last Club Fantasy party, where there was a lot of play going on and another birthday celebration. There will probably be some good changes coming up, with a likely name change and some theme parties at the end of the summer, so I’m looking forward to that…All in all, things are still very good here in L.A. and I’ve been having way more fun that I usually did in Denver, though of course I still miss my friends and some of the good times and places back there. I’m planning a quick visit in August though so it’ll be good to see the ol’ place. Here’s to a good summer for everyone and lots of new bondage adventures!

I had a great time last weekend at DomCon LA, held at the LAX Hilton. It’s a convention geared towards the pro domme scene, which I find intriguing, although I have to admit I’ve never visited a pro dominatrix. I suppose if I had crazy disposable income I probably would but, well, it’s probably not happening anytime soon. It is a fun event, though, and the kind of thing where you see people whom you might otherwise only see once or twice a year. On Friday night, I got to hang out with both Nina and Delilah and we had a fun time checking out the show floor. Dave from DK3 studios in San Diego took our picture and then later we literally hung out in the “birdcage” over at the Elegant Dungeons booth. Sonny helped us climb into the crazy thing, which was surprisingly relaxing and then he hoisted it up for a nice ride. With some padlocks on the cage you could easily be left there hanging for the night, though probably a ballgag and some handcuffs would be called for too. Later, for Delilah’s turn, Natashka from Las Vegas stopped by for a candid pose – don’t mess with Natashka! Later that night we got to shoot with Nina, who was looking super cute in a pink dress, pink heels, and blonde hair and who got nicely bound and gagged by Delilah, with me posing and looking serious nearby.

Another high point of the weekend was getting to shoot with Dixie Comet. I’ve been trying to get more special guest females on the site and I’m really excited about posting the upcoming scenes we shot with Dixie. She’s a terrific lady who has a lot of experience shooting bondage and has a real knack at improvising scenes for the video camera. She’s super-easy to work with, really cute, and a lot of fun. We shot two scenes with her, first with me convincing her to fake her kidnapping as a way of paying our gambling debts (bad idea, Dixie!) And then later she played a truly scary pro domme who’s nice and understanding and all business until she gets her naive client (me) tied up. Oops, a newbie’s worst nightmare.

As always, there were parties every night of the event and I was able to go to the Saturday one with Delilah. It was pretty good but nothing earth-shattering, which is often the case with these things. Quite often it’s the ol’ S&M party, for “Stand and Model.” There was some spectacular eye candy, though sadly they don’t usually allow cameras in dungeons. Sunday afternoon Delilah was able to get away again and we shot a couple solo scenes and hung out some more, a very productive and fun weekend. The next big event will be in August for FetishCon in Tampa. Better start shopping for some new outfits soon!

I went to Disneyland yesterday with friends and since I didn’t want any extra attention, I just went in boy mode. It’s been decades since my last visit, and to be honest I didn’t really expect much from it but ended up having a great time. The thing that really stands out (no surprise!) are the totally fabulous costumes of the women they hire to portray Alice and Mary Poppins and all the princesses milling about. I couldn’t stop staring, with that mixture of yearning and envy that is the lot of us crossdressers ;-) The tour guide outfits, in an English equestrian theme, are pretty fabulous too (I prefer the blue vest over the white blouse as opposed to the jacket!) Anyway, here are a few pictures that I found online, including one of Ryan Astamendi’s pictures of Disney princesses in real life. Another photographer, Dina Goldstein, has done some pictures of fallen princesses that are pretty hilarious. A fun day at the happiest place on earth!

We had a nice Club Fantasy party last night in North Hollywood and it was my birthday so a couple friends brought a terrific chocolate cake (thanks Jessica and Steve!) Of course I had some birthday spankings so my butt is still a little sore today but all in all a very fun time. Delilah was there in her Domina Delilah mode and she brought a few crops along to dole out the punishment. Fun times, and the next one will be on Friday, June 1st. The next big event here in SoCal will be DomConLA coming up in a couple weeks. I’ll be shooting a few sets of pictures, I’m sure, and it should be a fun time!

Wow, not much blogging lately, but I wanted to post a quick update so it doesn’t look like I’ve totally disappeared. I’ve still been really busy (never enough hours in the day) and am looking forward to shooting some more later this week and next. Last Friday’s Club Fantasy party was another good one, perhaps a little smaller because of the holiday weekend, but it had a nice energy and I was able to do a quick “speed bondage” on Delilah, getting her tied up in just a few minutes. Sometimes the ropes just fall into place and you go, “Hey, that’s working,” and other times it’s all fumbling and nothing seems to work right. So it’s always a fun time when it all comes together effortlessly. There were a lot of regulars at the party and we did another fun raffle for a couple makeovers at Transformations by Gina (special thanks to our generous friend who’s made it all happen!)

The last few days I’ve just been at the computer a lot but I’m hoping to get away to the Oxwood Inn again on Thursday for karaoke night. So I apologize for the long break here, but things are still good in L.A. and I’m hoping I’ll have another update later next week with maybe a couple new sample pictures to share…

Things have continued to be busy here but it’s all good (as the young people used to say). Over the weekend I was at Threshold’s FemDom party, which was a lot of fun and had a real nice energy. I usually don’t do a lot of playing in public but I “let” a good friend do some flogging and paddling on me and found it quite relaxing. I’m really not into heavy pain – obviously, bondage and the damsel in distress fantasy are my major interests – but when it’s done by someone who knows what they’re doing, being spanked and beaten a little can actually be quite nice and not nearly as painful as people imagine it to be – at least it doesn’t have to be painful and can really alter one’s mood in a good way. So it was a fun break for the weekend.

Since then I’ve mostly been doing the usual picture and video editing and have been trying to set up some more photoshoots, which can actually take a lot of time. I’m hoping to work with some more interesting models in the months ahead, both CDs and females. And I’ll also be attending DomCon LA in May and plan to do some shooting there during the days. Let me know if you’re going to be there so we can say hi.

So it’s just been the usual busy with that feeling of always wishing I had a few more days to get caught up. I’ve fallen pretty behind on email too and am trying to answer a few every day but the queue’s again getting pretty long. Hopefully I can have a quiet Sunday fairly soon and get more caught up again.

Yesterday I had the amazing experience of getting to work with the gorgeous Jewell Marceau, a really wonderful lady whom I’d met a couple times before and had the chance to photograph a few years ago for a mutual friend. But being tied up and gagged by her, bossed around, suffocated a little, and generally dominated was definitely an afternoon to remember. I really owe one to CD Cindy who helped arrange the shoot and who’s good friends with Jewell. Jewell and I are sharing these pictures so it might be a while before these sets go up on Ts in Trouble but I’m really looking forward to it. She’s a very busy lady but I’m hoping we’ll have the chance to shoot again sometime. Thanks so much, Jewell!

Wow, things have really picked up since being back in L.A. I’ve been having one of those weeks where you keep looking at the clock and figuring out how many hours you have left till the next thing on the schedule. Had three shoots over the weekend, another one coming up tonight in downtown L.A. and maybe another one this weekend. So along with all the day-to-day picture editing and updating and running around, things have been crazy! Hopefully tomorrow night I can relax and get away to hang out at the Oxwood Inn with friends and maybe belt out “Mother’s Little Helper” at karaoke (love that song!) I keep saying it, but it is great to be back in SoCal. I never had weeks like this in Denver!

It’s been a couple fun days here with more Thursday karaoke at The Oxwood Inn, where my friends Annie and Beth showed up (Annie sang a great “Hot Legs” by Rod Stewart). Always a nice time hanging out there. And then last night’s Club Fantasy party was terrific, with a nice group with great energy. Later around midnight we had a fun raffle, giving away two makeovers from Transformations by Gina, and two very nice girls won – Mz. TigerLilly and Nina Allison. I’m sure they’ll both look fantastic when they get all made up. We’re doing another raffle next month for more makeovers with Gina, so if you live in the area come on out Friday, April 6th, and hang out with us in the very-nice Threshold dungeon and enter to win a makeover. Love that party!

I had a blast at Thursday night karaoke at the Oxwood Inn, inflicting some ACDC on the crowd (“Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”). The Ox’ is a terrific neighborhood lesbian bar that also has a lot of trans girls, especially on Saturday nights. But every Thursday it’s karaoke with a really nice group of regulars and a very receptive and enthusiastic crowd, which always helps a lot. Even if you suck you usually get a nice response. I almost always enjoy going there and thankfully it’s not that far away so there’s no freeway driving. A great place and worth a visit! And here’s a picture from another night a couple weeks ago. The nice thing about still pictures of karaoke is that it looks like you can really sing!