I’ve been in Atlanta for a couple days now visiting my parents for New Year’s Eve. Like I mentioned earlier I always enjoy watching the year in review shows with my Dad and watching the ball drop on TV, so it’s nice to be here again. Although the year of the rabbit had its moments, it was still weak and a bit skittish, but I have a distinct feeling that the year of the dragon is going to be awesome! Here’s to 2012!

Yesterday I dressed in a more “regular” manner (jeans and nothing kinky) and drove the 70 miles down to my old hometown of Colorado Springs for the Transgender Day of Remembrance service held at the local Unitarian Church; I probably haven’t been in that building in over twelve years. The service was quite touching and troubling, of course, hearing the names of trans people around the world who have been murdered in the last year. One speaker wondered if any of them had perhaps attended similar services in years past and now have their own names read aloud and remembered. I’ve only gone to one other service since they began worldwide several years ago but I should make an effort to go every year, as they are very sobering. And going to the service in a town as conservative as Colorado Springs seemed especially fitting.

I also had that sense, though, regarding that very scenic city, that life has moved on in many ways since I used to live there. I do like my hometown but it can give me the willies. Just the 70 mile drive up the road to Denver is a big change from the environment in “The Springs,” as the locals call it (and hey, Denver’s not all that progressive either). All in all, it was a sad event but also an enjoyable and a reflective time, and being dressed and walking around in Colorado Springs again was interesting (some of us went to dinner afterwards). I felt especially nervous though walking alone to my car later that evening, going by the local bus station and up an empty elevator in the parking garage. Getting in the car and hitting the road, it felt like it really was time to go.

This was a tough weekend. As I’ve mentioned here before, I’ve been going to a straight bar here in Denver, the Santa Fe Tavern, that does Friday night karaoke, and several other crossdressers and TG girls have been going too for the last six months or so. I’ve really enjoyed it and almost always had a nice time hanging out with friends. The owner and staff always seemed happy to see us and treated us well. Then Saturday morning I read a message that was forwarded through Facebook informing us that the management felt our presence was scaring off other patrons and that the trans-community was uninvited and asked not to return. Reading it, I felt that emptiness where you don’t feel much at all – just a vague disbelief and surprise, as though certainly it’s all a big misunderstanding. But no, apparently we’re really not welcome anymore.

The news left me rattled pretty bad and is especially bewildering since, like I say, it always seemed that we were accepted. The irony for me is that I found my first year in Denver to be kind of tough, and this bar was the first place I found where I felt like I really clicked and connected. It was like, oh, I’m finally making some progress in this city. So to be turned away is especially disappointing. I’ve had minor hassles before and was followed once leaving a club, but I’ve never been told by an establishment that I’m simply not welcome, so this is a new one for me. There’s not really much to do about it. Legally, I’m pretty sure a bar owner can choose whom she wants to serve, and who wants to go back to a place where you’re not wanted anyway? So I’ll be trying to find someplace new to go. Anyway, I’m heading to L.A. for a visit later this week, so maybe the timing is good for a little break to shoot some new pictures and go to a few L.A. parties, including the Club Fantasy party on November 4th.

I just re-did the links page on the site and uploaded it here. I liked the older design too, which I had up for about three years, where you could submit and add your own link to the page, but over time it attracted more and more spammers and I would have to log on twice a day just to delete the junk links for cialis and penis enlargement. So I finally decided to go back to the old design and scrap the add-your-link feature. If you know of any good links I should add, especially for crossdressing bondage sites, feel free to send me an email or leave a comment here.

I had a really fun time shooting recently with Ohphelia and Cincher and just wanted to post a few frame grabs from the video that we shot a couple weeks ago and that I just posted on the site. I finally come out as a crossdresser to my aunt Ohphelia and she introduces me to bondage as a way to make me more submissive. Of course, if I’d really had an aunt like this back when I was a teenager I would have been in heaven!

My friend Mr. K. just sent me this cute magazine cover from a recent pic. I love stuff like this and remember secretly glancing at those old true crime magazines when I was a kid, though I never had the nerve to actually pick one up. Oh, and yes, my captors really did feel no shame as they felt me up – no shame at all!

I’m planning to shoot some new pictures with Cincher very soon so I’ve been doing some shopping to get a few new outfits. I went out to the mall this morning and got a couple things at Burlington Coat Factory (one of my favorites, especially for jewelry) and then worked up the nerve to go check out Forever 21. Stores like that that cater to “Juniors” (that is, teens and early twenties), I find rather intimidating, since I’m, well, solidly middle-aged and, yeah, a guy. So I always fake it and try to pretend I’m relaxed and belong there and usually it goes well enough. Once I find something that’s promising, the nerves tend to drop considerably and I can focus on the task at hand. The girl in the store who asked if I needed help was very cool, so that helped. I only found one tight banded skirt which I think will work pretty well, and also some jewelry, but it’s always good to shop in places I find a bit scary as it makes next time that much easier. Their clothes are so inexpensive too that even if the stuff didn’t fit I probably wouldn’t even bother returning them, but would just give them away to Goodwill or to a friend. I also checked out DressBarn (a little too frumpy) and a few other places; was going to check out BCBGMaxAzria but – whoa! – they are super expensive.

So anyway, just another morning wandering around the mall. I *kind* of like going there although it can be a little lonely too going from store to store, especially if I’m not finding much. Last week I stopped by a local thrift store and actually did much better, finding a nice tight brown dress with shoulder pads – I thought they might be too much but the look actually worked and I’ll probably wear it when I see Cincher. Ross was also a good recent stop – always a mixed bag with that store but sometimes when it clicks I can get that shopper’s high for an hour or two.

I love karaoke because it’s a rare chance to cut loose from my usual inhibitions. The disappointing thing is that I’m not a particularly good singer, and in fact can be rather piercing and nasally when I’m at my worst. But even so, it can be a lot of fun to just go for it. If anyone’s interested I might post some videos at some point but they are rather wince-inducing for me to watch. Here’s some frame grabs, though, taken by my friend AmberKatt, with me in that favorite greenish-blue blouse from last night at my favorite karaoke place, The Santa Fe Tavern in Denver with super-cool Spaceman Mike! as the DJ. The songs were, in the first picture, “Surrender” by Cheap Trick and in the other two pics, “Lust for Life” by Iggy Pop.