TEASE – Just a quick announcement that the next TEASE party in N. Hollywood, California, will be on Saturday, May 30th, 8 PM till 2 AM at the Threshold clubhouse. Thanks to Jessica for the cute new artwork! We’ve been having fantastic turnouts since we switched over to quarterly parties – RSVP page on Fetlife. Hope to see you there!

Tumblr and Blogging – I’ve been thinking that when I get back from BoundCon I’ll probably start up a page over on Tumblr to post new preview pics and some oldies and occasional rambling thoughts like I sometimes do here. I used to blog a lot more on this page, but in general it seems that the “golden age” of blogging, if there ever was one, has pretty much passed. Now there are blog-like things like Twitter (which I kind of like) and Facebook (which I’m on but can’t stand), but actually reading and following specific blogs seems to have fallen out of fashion. I know I don’t follow any blogs anymore, whereas I used to follow quite a few. Even traffic on this page here has fallen off, although again, I don’t blog that often and this blog is basically only seen by visitors to the larger Trannies In Trouble website, and is tucked away on its own little link.

But Tumblr on the other hand seems to be quite popular (heck, it probably had its golden age a few years ago too!) But it appears that it’s much easier to post pictures on Tumblr than it is on WordPress, which is what this page is. It’s actually surprising how much cutting and pasting I have to do here just to post a few photos, which has always been one of the hassles of updating this blog…So anyway, long story short, I’m sure I’ll keep this blog online for another year or so but I’ll probably start to drift over to Tumblr this summer and will of course post a link when I get it started. And of course none of this has any impact on the main Trannies In Trouble site and the ongoing updates there with photos and videos. Thanks again to everyone who does follow the blog here, and those of you who leave comments, I always appreciate it! Without them I’d feel like I’m posting into the void ;-)

I don’t blog as much as I used to but it’s been almost a tradition here every March 23rd to mark the anniversary of Trannies In Trouble, which has now been online for twelve years. I’m amazed that it’s still going strong and as always I plan to keep the show going as long as I can. I always try to stay several months ahead with new material, and things are going well, so we should be here again next year before we know it.

I really appreciate the support of everyone who enjoys the site, though of course I owe a special thank you to all the paying members and especially those of you who have been coming back for years. Without you I’d be a secretary in an office in Pasadena (where I might end up robbed and tied up!) ;-) I never want anyone to feel pressured or like I expect them to join the site, as I know how tight it is out there for so many. But I am truly grateful and humbled by everyone who supports the site at any level. Thank you so much for making it happen and here’s to many more years to come…Hugs, Sandra

It’s funny, over the years I’ve had some really good private bondage scenes, and have had only a handful that went poorly, and usually not that poorly, just a lack of chemistry, which sometimes happens. But there are probably three or four people that I didn’t meet or with whom it just didn’t work out, where I still feel some slight regret. With one of them I just chickened out, another we started to play and it got off to a bad start, and one was with a guy whom I annoyed and who probably just lost interest after that.

The one who still gets to me and whom I sometimes fantasize about, was a guy in Denver who wrote me when I was living there and feeling lonely. He was a male dom and was probably a little too pushy and sure of himself in his emails. I just wasn’t sure about him and I let the opportunity pass, although now I’d probably go through with it. I know that even just five years ago when it happened, my confidence was a little less secure than it is now, not that I’m always sure of myself – far from it! – but now I know more of what I really like and what I’m willing to do in a play scene away from the camera.

The thing is, the emails he wrote me were a real turn-on, but he was still a little too secretive and that’s what made me uneasy, even if that element of the unknown does add to the turn-on. He also made it clear that he would love to get off during play, although he would have been okay with only doing bondage role-playing without anything sexual. I know many people would say, “If you had any doubts or sensed any red flags it’s smart to listen to those signals – you made the right decision.” And I agree…and yet. I know that since that time, he’s played with other people and it appears to have been good for both parties. Maybe I’m just being greedy but yeah, those emails were hot. If I had it to do over again, I’d probably see him.

I had another scene with another guy where we just didn’t communicate enough and when it started to get too intense too quickly, I got rattled and called it off. Looking back, it could have been really good and I just wish I’d handled it better and had communicated better up front. And then there was one other scene that I sometimes think about with a photographer who wanted to shoot pictures of me and play afterwards, this time nothing sexual. But he was maybe a little less forthcoming than I would have liked at first, and in retrospect I admit I over-reacted and called it off and he likely just thought I was a drama queen (rightly so in that case). It was a shame as he’s a good photographer with a great style of bondage. I exchanged a couple more emails with both of these guys but it just felt like the opportunity had passed and I doubt we’ll probably ever meet.

I’ll admit probably part of my not-so-unconscious motivation for writing this is that, hey, maybe one or two of these guys will see this and write back. (Maybe the guy in Denver visits LA!) But I actually suspect they don’t follow this blog, so that’s doubtful. It is inevitable of course that some scenes are going to lack chemistry and some are going to involve miscommunication – they’re not all going to be earth-shattering. But these three in particular are the ones that I find myself looking back on with some regret whenever I think of them. I don’t dwell on the memories, but these things happen, and will certainly happen again.

I know there was a time a few years ago when I was more cautious about meeting people to play with, maybe too cautious. I wasn’t as bad as those profiles you see on Fetlife with long lists of angry do’s and don’ts and a generally aggrieved tone, but I was less sure of myself and as a result very careful. And to be honest, for a few years there I went through a spell where I just wasn’t having that much fun with private play. Now, with more experience behind me, I tend to be more open to possibilities if it feels right and if I seem to be on the same page with someone. Most of the time they’re male doms or guys who are into tying CDs. And most of the time my judgment is good. I don’t do a ton of private play by any means, especially since I don’t have much free time, but I have moved beyond that bad spell these last few years, which is reassuring. But it is funny, although not surprising, of course, how the ones that “got away” tend to stick in the memory.

So last Sunday I went out with my friend Scott, who was the perfect date and a true gentleman, and we attended the Transgender Erotic Awards (or TEA Show) in Hollywood. It’s an awards show for tranny / shemale porn performers, which is not what I do obviously although I have been able to shoot with a couple of very nice models such as Ada Black and Stefani Special who do trans porn and it is an interesting world, just different. This was my first year attending and Trannies In Trouble was actually one of the many sponsors for the night (it wasn’t nearly as expensive as it sounds.) I didn’t have my camera with me unfortunately so we only took a few shaky snapshots with Scott’s phone but we had a really fun time.

Sitting at the same table were a couple of lovely latina ladies, including this cutie next to me who was fascinated by my latex dress and who kept feeling up my latex-clad arm (I really didn’t mind.) Ileana Logan from the east coast was also there, looking very lovely as a blonde (we were able to shoot some new pictures just a couple days beforehand). And although I didn’t get a good shot of her face below I also was finally able to meet Amber Dubois, also from back east, who said some of the nicest things about my dressing and my website – I was really touched. We’ve emailed off and on on Facebook for several years and she was an absolute dear, so I was really glad we just happened to run into each other that evening.

The show was a little late getting started but the presenter, a fabulous drag queen named Jujubee from RuPaul’s Drag Race, was a hoot and kept things going once they did finally start around 10:30 (I could tell it was going to be WAY past my bedtime before we got out of there!) I’ll admit as the show continued I really started to feel like a visitor in a foreign land, since Trannies In Trouble is a completely different thing from shemale porn. That’s totally okay but I really felt, like my friend Kim said, like a related but distant cousin. It was an interesting evening and hopefully I’ll meet some more trans models who are also into bondage but I don’t know if I’ll really need to attend next year. I know a lot of the performers there would just look at fully-clothed bondage photography and ask, so when does the sex start?

One ironic twist is that the awards show used to be called The Tranny Awards but this year they changed it because of complaints from some of the performers who find the word tranny offensive and demeaning. That kind of made me feel like an old dinosaur too, since when I started my site almost twelve years ago (yeah, that long!) no one was saying a thing about the word tranny, or even debating its use. At the same time I do understand the argument since most people agree that the word tranny comes from the word transvestite rather than transsexual, so I can see if you’re a trans person who lives full-time, you may not like it. In any case this is probably all best left to another blog post in the future. But Jujubee, bless her heart, made a point of using the word tranny over and over again and pretend-apologizing for it every time, reminding the crowd that, Oh right, we’re not supposed to use that word anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief at her tongue-in-cheek humor as I was secretly fearing that someone might shove a microphone in my face and demand I explain myself for the name of my website. In reality, I was practically unknown in this crowd so I really had nothing at all to fear. And the obvious answer would just be, hey, I AM a transvestite and crossdresser and a full-on fetishist. If anyone here is a tranny I certainly am!

Finally by the end of the evening I’d had one too many drinks (three is a lot for me…gotta hide those wine glasses from the camera!) but thankfully Scott was perfectly sober as we wandered out onto the sidewalk and made our way back up to the Valley for some sushi in the fridge here and some reflection on the evening. Like I say, I don’t know if I need to race back again next year but I’m glad I got to do it and see more of a subculture that, especially living here in Van Nuys, the porn capital of the world, has always seemed just a couple of degrees away…

I got sick with a bad cold right on Christmas Eve so it’s been a few days here laying around and trying to take care of myself. I don’t watch as many movies as I’d like to, always seem to be short on time, but when you’re sick you’re kind of forced to slow down. So I saw a few on my laptop the last few days. “Under the Skin,” with Scarlett Johansson as an alien driving around Scotland in a van is dark and slow but hard to turn away from – hey, I’d get into her van but, yeah, it certainly wouldn’t turn out pretty. I also loved “Upstream Color,” which is really hard to describe, including pigs, orchids and Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden” among its various plot points. It’s not kinky, although there is a bizarre and interesting abduction sequence early in the film which has a few brief moments, including the use of a breathing mask, that certainly aroused my interest, though no real bondage.

And I also finally saw the French reverse-chronology rape/revenge movie, “Irréversible,” which I avoided for years, fearing it would be too disturbing. The rape scene is indeed awful and goes on and on but overall the movie wasn’t nearly as stomach-churning as I expected, some of the revenge parts in fact being so over-the-top that it becomes a little absurd, especially with the shaky camera for the first forty minutes or so. But it’s dark and nasty and has a bleak message with the nice tagline, “Time Destroys Everything.” The three movies are all pretty artsy, especially the last two which are art films with a capital “A.” And each, especially “Under the Skin,” has a few sexy moments even if that’s not really their main point – C’mon, we’re talking art here! ;-) They’re probably all worth checking out though if you’re into that sort of thing.

Thankfully I’m feeling much better and am finally planning to fly to Atlanta tomorrow to spend a few days with my Mom over new years. I hope everyone has a nice end of the year and has friends or family to spend it with. If all goes as planned I’ll be back in L.A. in a few days and it’s back to work. I’m excited about 2015, have a few shoots already lined up and a couple conventions I’m already thinking about going to. Happy New Year!

I saw this cool image over on Facebook, taken from a French comic book, or “Bande Dessinée,” called The Parrot of Batignolles, which is the neighborhood where the Maison du Travesti tranny club is located in Paris, ironically enough on the Rue des Dames, or loosely, “Ladies Street.”

I sound like such a jet-setter here although it was the first time I’d ever been to Europe, but I have to say I did a double take when I saw it, since it’s the very same club that my friend Krystle and I visited back in May. The illustration actually just shows the street view with the very-pleasant Café Marcel on one corner (where we got more than a little tipsy a couple times), and the club itself right across the street, behind where the guy with the hat is crossing. The artist may not have known the club was actually there, since it’s very discreetly tucked away, but it’s a hoot seeing the location show up in a comic strip. And from my limited French I think the lady is saying something along the lines of, “It’s crazy all the same, you pull on a thread and it all unravels,” which just seems somehow fitting. Now if someone could just make a comic for the Oxwood Inn here in Los Angeles, although yeah, somehow Van Nuys is maybe a little less glamorous than Paris. But hey, you gotta start somewhere – maybe a whole series of comics featuring TG bars throughout the world. That’s so crazy it just might work! ;-)

(Although the holiday season is my favorite time of year – I never get tired of that Christmas music! – the end of the year does always put me in a reflective mood. So I just want to put out a little “melancholy warning” here, feel free to skip this one if you’re not in the mood to bring it down a notch or two, just talking about a friend who died this year and the passage of time…Hey the pictures are amusing! ;-) )

2014 has been a strange year for me, not bad, just very uneven, as many years so often are. There were some amazing high points – the trip to Europe with my friend Krystle for BoundCon, some great photoshoots, some very good parties, especially at TEASE, another great Halloween in West Hollywood, and a great time seeing friends and family in Colorado a few months ago. At the same time of course there were some low points, including some ongoing family issues (I’m fine but most of us eventually have to deal with parents getting older and all that that brings).

And one of the biggest shocks this year was when a woman I knew named Fawna, who was a regular at the TEASE parties and active at the club where it’s held, had a heart attack and suddenly died last summer. Fawna was a terrific person, warm and welcoming, very funny, and someone who always made me smile when she showed up. I wish I could say that she and I were close friends but really we were probably just casual friends, or even “club friends.” There’s nothing wrong with that but now that she’s gone I wish I’d been closer to her. Ironically, almost four years ago when my friend Chainguy (Paul Logan) collapsed and was in the hospital, Fawna was the person I would call and check in with and who kept me up to date on his condition. They were quite close and his death hit her hard. She was only 40 years old this year, and I find it unbelievable that both of them, Paul and now Fawna, are gone and their pictures are now up on the wall at the club where TEASE is held. I just find that more and more I have that feeling of time passing and of the inevitable changes that eventually arrive for all of us as the years pass by.

I don’t want to be a complete downer, though. I am thrilled that the website is still going strong, almost twelve years now, and as always I plan to keep it going for many more. It is interesting, though, how the website business has changed in the last decade, with so many more new sites out there, lots of free “tube” sites reposting content, and an endless string of free images available. So I’m hugely grateful that people seem to enjoy Trannies In Trouble and stick around with me, as there are so many options out there. I know of other bondage producers that haven’t been so lucky these last few years. So if you’re a regular subscriber or have joined even just once or twice, Thank You! I sincerely mean it. The site would be a mere shadow of what it is now without you all. I would still be posting things but it would be more like my profiles on Fetlife or Facebook where something new goes up only every few months. (Speaking of Facebook, I’m running out of space for new friend requests there (they limit the number), so if you try to friend me and I don’t respond just let me know.)

In any case, in spite of my occasionally gloomy and overly-reflective view of things (though usually I think I’m just being realistic about this crazy planet we inhabit), I am aware that I continue to be very lucky. Just to be able to dress up and go out whenever I want to, and rarely ever be hassled, is something I’m aware that many CDs simple can’t do. I don’t think I’ve written before about the CD from Syria who wrote me a while back and said that he stays in the closet to avoid being murdered. The mind boggles to read things like that, to live in a place so hostile that just one’s basic survival would be in doubt. And yes, trans people here in the U.S and throughout the world do get murdered every year and many live challenging and even desperate lives that I can’t imagine. So to be able to live in a relatively progressive place like Los Angeles. – well, things aren’t always perfect here but it’s still pretty darn good.

Anyway, to wrap up, thanks again to everyone who’s been supporting my site and to everyone who reads this blog when I post something (not as often as I’d like!) Have a great time over the holidays coming up, whichever ones you celebrate, and I hope everyone has family or friends to spend time with. All the best in the new year – good luck to us all! ~Hugs, Sandra

And remember, everything is always exciting here! ;-) (Thanks to AmberKatt for the photos.)

It was another fun Halloween in West Hollywood. My friend Kim was feeling a little under the weather so I dressed up and braved the Boulevard on my own but luckily I was able to meet up with two group of friends during the night, including Louann and Mika, who are regulars here on the L.A. scene, Ashley A. who was in town for the weekend from New York (just shot pics with her a few weeks ago – that’s her friend Jodie in the mask with her below), Ileana Logan as a super-cute stewardess, and Capt. Al from AtTomicVisuals.

As usual, it’s a great mix of costumes and weirdos out on the streets with lots of CDs and cute girls. Apparently if you’re a teenage girl it’s required to make gang or peace signs when posing. Much later in the evening it was great to see Lorelei, Jon Woods, and Ikaras Jones again and hang out for a while at the hotel where they were all staying. If I see them a third time it’ll be a tradition!

The strange thing about this year is that there was a little rain off and on, but nothing too bad till about midnight when suddenly it let loose and was a deluge! Thankfully I brought a small umbrella, so I was fine walking back to my car. But a young guy came up shivering and asked, “Can I walk with you under your umbrella? I’m so cold!” I said sure, and after a minute he put his arm around me and came in close. I think he really was just trying to grab some body heat (mostly) but it was pretty funny. What the heck, it’s a party and if he’d been my type maybe I would have had some action. He was very thankful when we finally got back to the parking garage and we parted ways, never to be seen again. All in all, a fun night and crazy as ever…