“The Great Depresh”

This is another non-kinky post and I’ll be back to the bondage soon (I hope), but in the meantime last night I was alone at the house for a change, and I was dressed up, so I took it easy and watched Gary Gulman’s comedy special, “The Great Depresh,” about his lifelong struggles with depression. It’s really not a depressing show even though it sounds like it is. He’s an extremely likeable guy and very funny. I was only a little familiar with him before watching his special and really enjoyed it.

He’s struggled with the kind of debilitating “treatment-resistant” depression, as they call it, where he couldn’t even function – sleeping eighteen hours a day and completely mired in despair. We’ve all had bad days or periods in our lives, but this is an altogether different beast. I’ve talked about my own struggles with mood here in this blog, but by comparison my issues are mild. I’m basically (still) a garden-variety melancholic with good days and bad, but I function pretty well overall, and I typically never have problems getting up in the morning. I even had an ex-girlfriend years ago who was almost annoyed that I could wake up and be almost completely clear headed in about two minutes without any coffee.

Hearing more about Gary Gulman’s story it really makes me wonder, what is going on inside a person who experiences such deep depression? It really is a mystery, especially with someone who appears to be a sweet and charming man, with a good life and no apparent major traumas in his past beyond the typical disappointments of simply being alive. I’ve read a lot of books on depression in hopes of “fixing” my own mood disorder, and the thing that strikes me is that there’s always a paragraph where the author, usually a therapist or psychiatrist, will finally admit, “Well, we don’t really know what causes depression.” It’s kind of stunning in this day and age. There are loads of suspicions and tons of research about brain chemistry, social pressures, trauma, learned helplessness, PTSD, isolation, and stress, but in the final analysis there’s still this huge mystery as to why some people struggle repeatedly with low moods and despair and others don’t, or at least not in any persistent manner. The persistence is the thing that’s brutal.

In any case, this does sound like a heavy post but “The Great Depresh” is actually very entertaining and enjoyable, and Gary Gulman has such a light and engaging manner about him that it’s just like listening to a series of interesting life stories. Worth catching if you have access to HBO.

Go-To Videos

We all have our own favorite go-to videos, the ones that turn us on every time…or at least until we’ve seen them fifty times in a row! And even then they can still be pretty hot.

I’ve joined a good number of paysites over the years and what I find is that there are usually only a handful of scenes that really turn my crank, so to speak. What turns us on is just such a personal and individual thing, and can be so specific, about a certain gag or a certain outfit or a favorite color of hose. I’ve had people write me about scenes that I’ve thought of retiring from my website and they surprised me by saying it was one of their favorites! I’d say if I find ten percent of the scenes to be hot on a given websites then that’s pretty good. And I’m sure it’s probably the same for everyone who visits my website too (and whose support I always appreciate!) I wish every update could be super hot for everyone but again it’s all personal taste and preference.

One of my favorite videos on my site is a short struggle video with Silvia Snow tied cross-legged and gagged with smooth duct tape. There’s no storyline but she pleads and plays the damsel very well and the scene suggests that she maybe got robbed and left that way or abandoned by some unscrupulous bondage partner earlier that night. This was a scene that we shot right at the end of the night, just a “quickie” scene before we called it quits, and it exceeded expectations. Silvia was just so cute and I find the video really hot.

Another scene that I really like – well, actually the still photos in this one – is the first scene I ever shot with Ashley Washington. I just love the woman’s business suit she was wearing and the sexy platform heels she had on. She just looks so cute and pretty, like a helpless young TS office lady in a bind – definitely a favorite.

It’s funny that with both of these models, Silvia and Ashley, I only got to shoot with each of them once or twice. Sometimes distance gets in the way, or people move on, or time just passes. There are many other scenes that I enjoy on my site, and so many sexy and attractive girls that I’ve worked with. I find though that I rarely ever get turned on by looking at myself in bondage, though I know some models love to see themselves bound. Somehow though it rarely ever clicks for me seeing myself tied up, although the recent video with the Irish Eights cuffs came pretty close.

I hope everyone who reads this blog has some favorite videos or scenes that also stand out on T’s in Trouble. If you’d like to share, do let me know what your favorites are and what you particularly like to see – I’m always looking for inspiration!

Didn’t Always Love the Bee Gees But Do now

As I mentioned on Twitter I heard the Bee Gee’s song, “Nights on Broadway” two days ago on Pandora and it’s still stuck in my head! It’s funny, but growing up in the “Disco Sucks!” era I was completely dismissive of them. Music of course is such a personal preference, and a song or band either grabs you or it doesn’t. It took me a while but I’d have to say they’re now one of my favorite groups.

An online friend sent me a link to the same song being performed live and it’s pretty darn good. I especially enjoy the look of relaxed concentration in Robin Gibb’s face when he comes in with his lines. And Maurice Gibb doing his falsetto at the end just makes me smile! The only sad thing is how Barry Gibb is the only one left, his brothers all long gone. They defined an era, of which I was mostly oblivious as a kid but I appreciate them so much more now that I’m old(er).

New Search Box for Videos!

Having a search box on the video page is something I’ve wanted for a few years now, so I was thrilled when I was able to hire a PHP programmer a couple of weeks ago who finished the job in about two days! I’m decent with basic HTML and CSS but actual programming with PHP is way beyond my abilities. I find that getting special projects crossed off my to-do list seems to take forever (as is probably the case with most people), but it’s such a thrill when something new gets done beyond the weekly updates.

I need to go through the individual picture galleries now and clean up some of the video links on individual pages, as I know a lot of those are a mess (and again that will take a while.) But at least everything on the video page itself is working great! Thankfully I’ve been pretty good at entering keywords for the videos, probably for at least the last ten years, so it should make finding specific videos a lot easier. And finding your favorite models should be a breeze.

Of course now I need to remove a lot of the old ones and produce a bunch of new ones to take their place! No rest for the wicked ;-)

Looking to the Fall

We’re still only at the end of February but I find myself wondering where we’ll be with the Covid pandemic at the end of 2021. The numbers have dropped significantly since the holiday surge (though at this point they’re still at about the same level as they were back in July, when it was bad.) But with the vaccine rollout you can sense that life may just get back to something kinda like what it used to be. For many the feeling is already that this thing is over!

At the same time I have the kind of personality that’s always thinking, “What could go wrong?” If you’re shooting bondage pictures that’s not a bad trait to have, what with the risk of a bondagette starting to become panicky or stressed, which does happen from time to time. But I also know my caution can make me seem like a total Debbie Downer. I find myself thinking, what are we not seeing that will screw up the pandemic and cause it to drag out for another year or two? Or will the virus simply trick us and mutate around our best defenses? It’s not inconceivable.

Last week I learned an uncle in Indiana died from Covid. It was a typical case: in the hospital for three weeks, difficulty breathing, never on a ventilator but close to it, and finally reaching a crisis point and dying a few days later. I hadn’t seen this uncle in over forty years, so while the news was sad it didn’t hit me the way it did my mother, his younger sister. She took the news as well as she could but I know it shook her up bad, of course. There was a nice zoom memorial service but I couldn’t stop wondering about his time in the hospital – how aware was he, how badly did he suffer, and what was his mental state at the end?

Many of us at this point have lost family members or friends, or have known people who have gotten very sick (I was emailing with one possible model on the east coast who said it took her three months to fully recover – Yikes!) One risk that some experts worry about is the possibility of another surge being brought on by the Covid variants. Apparently the UK variant (B.117) is spreading the fastest of any of them, doubling in number of cases every ten days. And the other day I was reminded that there’s also a California variant that may have been involved in the big surge we just came through over the holidays.

None of this is meant to be political, of course (and it’s still so crazy that this pandemic has become a political issue), but just some thoughts on my mind. I do find myself thinking of a time in the future when the models and I no longer get Covid tests before meeting up for a photoshoot – maybe at the end of the summer? Whenever that happens I’ll know it’s basically over. Of course then I’ll be going out dressed every weekend for the next three months – and probably half of you reading this will do the same! I still wonder though about the future and about any possible surprises that may, or may not, lie in wait for us. But let’s hope that all the Debbie Downers like me are completely wrong. Doing the TEASE Party again or hanging out at Hamburger Mary’s and hugging friends as we meet for dinner would be sweet indeed. Handshakes, though? No, I’ll never do that again.

Heading Into 2021

I hope everyone had a nice time over Christmas and Hanukkah. Christmas was quiet for me but still a pleasant day. I did a zoom call with my family earlier in the afternoon (before dressing!) There are only four of us now, and while I love my family very much, they are, well, family, and can sometimes drive me crazy. I find with zoom calls I often tend to shut down emotionally and mentally edit what I share with them, which brings me down. So this time I tried to make a point of talking more about what was really on my mind, without being a jerk about it.

At one point my sister in law suggested we all have another zoom call on New Year’s Eve. In the past I might have just reluctantly gone along with it, but this time I basically told them, “Well, I’m going to be dressing up and wearing makeup so maybe we should do it another time.” My brother and sister in law just laughed, and I have no idea what my Mom thought, as she didn’t say anything at all, but at least I spoke up. Sometimes it’s best to just tell the truth and be done with it – and if I did that all the time I’d probably be a lot happier – but it sure ain’t easy!

In any case I’m feeling a bit uncertain about what the new year will bring. I always wonder at the end of the year if I’ll still be regularly shooting new material for Trannies In Trouble this time next year. Most likely I will be, but with this year we’ve just lived through anything is possible. In any case it’s coming up fast. I hope you all have a fun and relaxing time Thursday night – Happy New Year!

Pornhub’s Reckoning

For years I’ve wondered how Pornhub can keep doing business year after year without being sued into oblivion. My complaint has always been about the widespread piracy and unauthorized posting on the site. They’ve been an ongoing frustration for me for years, with lots of my videos uploaded without my permission, for which I don’t earn a dime. And while I can get them removed, they make producers jump through hoops, requiring me to give them my personal and business information and to click off a bunch of boxes swearing under threat of perjury that I’m the copyright holder. And this is for my own videos! Wildly frustrating.

This week though things changed dramatically. I’d heard that something was going on but didn’t look into it in much detail till an online friend wrote me. A recent article in the NY Times outlined numerous cases on the site of child porn, revenge porn, and non-consensual sex videos, plus illicit bathroom and shower cam videos. Some of the accounts of the consequences suffered by victims are truly horrifying. A few days later Visa and Mastercard dropped Pornhub and Mindgeek, their parent company which owns numerous other “tube sites” as well as porn production companies such as Reality Kings and Brazzers. Pornhub has since deleted about eighty percent of their videos and is now only allowing uploads from verified accounts, a change that many have asked for for years.

Not surprisingly, there’s been lots of talk on social media, some from people way more informed on the subject than I am (a particularly good thread here). While no one is downplaying the horrible reality of how prevalent child sex abuse material (CSAM) is online, some online voices question the wider anti-porn motives of some anti-trafficking groups, as well as the impact of Visa’s and Mastercard’s actions on legit performers and models who use Pornhub to make a living (selling videos and camming and so on). Obviously those avenues for earning an income are gone for now.

There’s also the question of how much the credit card companies will now start scrutinizing other websites. Certainly other tube sites such as xHamster (where some of my videos are also reposted without my permission) must be sweating bullets right about now.

There’s also legislation being considered in Congress to clamp down on online porn in general, banning downloads, for example, and other measures which could have a devastating impact on the business. At this point I doubt that these actions will end in numerous sites (such as mine) going offline but I’ve always known it’s possible the tide could turn against adult websites. If billing companies such as CCBill were to lose the use of Visa / Mastercard that would be it. And that’s basically what happened to the old Insex website, where Homeland Security allegedly talked to the billing companies, claiming that Insex was laundering money for terrorists – an absurd charge. Once Insex lost the use of credit cards though it was all over.

The thing about Pornhub is that they’ve brought all this on themselves due to their lazy approach to moderation and self-policing. Their approach has always been, “Hey, we’re not the producers – we’re just offering a platform.” All the checks that Pornhub uses to vet their content come after the fact, whereas anyone can make an account and immediately start uploading. A well-written article from the Oxford University student paper points out that while “pre-publication checks…are integral to ensuring the platform is abuse-free, they are incompatible with the business model upon which Pornhub has built its success.”

Obviously I have no affection for Pornhub. It will be interesting to see where all this goes. I suspect Pornhub / Mindgeek will weather this and hopefully clean up their act and adjust their business model to be more ethical, though I’m not holding my breath. What the wider effects will be on the porn / fetish industry, we shall see. More to come, I’m sure.

Seventies Movies: Klute

First off, let me acknowledge that Jane Fonda is controversial. A lot of people hate her for her politics and past activism. I get it. But regardless of what you may think of her as a person, as an actor she’s always had that indefinable spark of a movie star, someone who’s interesting to watch even in a bad movie, stunningly attractive, and with a unique energy and an immediately recognizable voice.

The other night I watched her and Donald Sutherland in “Klute,” where she plays a semi-high-class call girl who gets involved in a murder plot. One online critic said it’s a thriller without any thrills, which is kind of true as they give away the identity of the killer in the first forty-five minutes.

But for a crossdresser like myself watching Jane Fonda in this movie is hypnotic. The movie itself is really dated now, made in 1971, and the pacing is of the time, that is to say, very slow. There are also the kinds of scenes that were probably edgy at the time and now just seem funny. The party scenes especially are a bit squirm-inducing, as they were probably intended to be wild and shocking but by today’s standards they just seem kind of silly. There’s also that tendency for overacting which is so common in 70s movies. I remember as a kid watching movies back then and a character would get really angry over something that didn’t seem to me like that big a deal, as though the script just demanded, “Be angry now!” Jane Fonda does this a couple times, letting out with a loud “Damn You!” I just had to laugh. It’s like, why is she getting so angry?

At the same time, I did like the movie, as silly as it is in spots. And the real draw is just how beautiful Jane Fonda is and her style and energy, and especially that iconic shag haircut that she made famous – if I could make my own hair look like that as Sandra I could die fulfilled. The metallic dress with the long sleeves that she wears is pretty terrific too. So all in all, an interesting, if flawed, movie that saw Jane Fonda at her peak, and for which she also won the Oscar.

This Strange Year That Went by So Fast

Like many I’ve had a lot on my mind and too much solitary time to think about this strange and awful year that we’ve been living through; some of what I’m writing here may be overly reflective, so if you prefer to just check out the bondage pics below and skip the text that follows I won’t be offended.

I just read an interesting article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune online asking, is 2020 the worst year ever? They point out that 1918 was pretty bad with the devastating flu pandemic of the day, and that 1968 was a bad one with the assassinations and riots, and – one I’d never even heard of! – that 536 was maybe the worst of all, “the year a volcano erupted in Iceland and the sun dimmed for a year and a half, leading to a catastrophic global cold spell.” But still 2020’s been pretty bad.

I’ve been pretty lucky and haven’t really had too many major changes to deal with, aside from the lack of parties and events to go to, and a break from shooting with other models that I took in the spring and early summer. For someone like me though who often deals with low moods, in a weird way this year has had moments that have been almost reassuring, as though the world now reflects back to me how I often feel (and by no means do I mean to diminish the loss and suffering of others by saying this.) But it is something I’ve noticed. I’m always half-expecting things to fall apart, and in some ways this year they did.

There is of course the tendency for some to say, “Hey, this pandemic is overblown and it’s not that bad.” I would answer that there are plenty of people whose lived experience would argue otherwise, and that the tendency to minimize is a normal, if self-deluding, impulse for dealing with tragedy. There have been so many stories reported, and one of the best I’ve read was in Time Magazine last May, describing the efforts in New York City to bury the dead. It’s very sobering but if you enjoy good writing it’s worth the time.

Conspiracies – I mentioned earlier too my Mom’s love of conspiracy theories. The events of this year have made it harder to talk about things with her, as there’s always some story to explain the pandemic and the political situation here in the States – 5G, background radiation, the Satanists and pedophiles, the Reptilian overlords, the hollowed-out space-station moon, the deeply offensive “theory” that Michelle Obama is really a man, and so on. It’s exhausting. So we often limit our phone calls to small talk and to the weather, which is kind of sad but you take what you can with family.

I have been shooting again with other models lately, though the number of shoots has been limited compared to last year. I’ve shot a couple times recently with Star Nine, who’s SO good at playing the devious femme fatale (in fact she’s about the only one who’s tied me up since March – not that I’m complaining!)  I’ve also seen my friend Milf Jeanne a number of times and have shot some really fun and sexy scenes with her, including an outdoor one coming up in the next few months.

I have been dressing up more often this year too, just because I like to even if there is no place to go! And when I check in to hotels for photoshoots I usually dress up in my “casual” Sandra mode. There’s something about showing up at the hotel already dressed that I prefer – it just feels more honest – and with everyone wearing a mask it actually makes it very easy and no big deal at all. Being a germ phobe even before the pandemic I’ll probably be one of the last people to stop wearing a mask, especially when checking into a hotel – can never be too safe! ;-) Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if another pandemic were to hit within five years of the end of this one – I fear it could become our new normal. And I also suspect that getting back to normal is going to take a lot longer than many expect. I’m bracing for it to be a long haul still. Then again, who knows? I’ll be perfectly happy if I’m totally wrong on all this.

Elliot Page – One interesting bit of news was seeing Elliot Page (formerly Ellen Page) come out as trans and non-binary. It’s totally cool that they’re expressing themselves and being who they are. But I’ll admit – and I kind of feel like a jerk for saying this – but when I heard the news I was also a little saddened by it. When Elliot was Ellen they were so cool and cute and adorable that a part of me thinks, “Please don’t take the male hormones and totally change your looks!” Of course it’s none of my business, but as a crossdresser who has had yearnings and desires to be a woman for decades now part of me can’t help but think, “Oh no, what a waste!” Of course this is totally my own reaction filtered through my own “stuff.” But still. I do wish them the best though with whatever path they take.

In any case, just last week I saw Star Nine again in Anaheim and shot four new videos with her, both of us getting tested for Covid beforehand. I knew the stay-at-home order in California was coming soon, and after Star left I stayed over at the hotel, my legs sore and shaky in a good way from the afternoon’s bondage. The next morning I got up wondering why the room smelled slightly smoky and why my throat felt tight. I didn’t think much of it so I did my makeup, dressed in my casual Sandra mode, and finished packing. As I went outside to load up the car I realized that there had been more wildfires nearby overnight and there was now a huge orange cloud over the city of Anaheim. It seemed almost fitting pulling out onto the freeway and heading home, the orange glow overhead and the fires in the hills receding behind me as I drove away. Let’s hope things are a little better next year.

Thanksgiving 2020

Well, it was a quiet Thanksgiving for me here in Southern California but it was perfectly fine. I usually don’t see my family anyway till New Year’s so I often spend Thanksgiving on my own, and this year it was pretty inevitable with the Covid situation (since my roommate was out). I did talk to a friend recently and she told me she had just hopped on a plane and was now hanging out with friends in another state. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a mild germ phobe, so going to an airport and standing in line among a bunch of strangers is about the last thing I’d want to do. Being in the plane is maybe less worrisome due to the good air filters they apparently use but it’s all that coming and going before and after that would freak me out. But I didn’t give my friend a hard time; it’s her decision and she felt perfectly safe.

I did do a zoom call with my family (of course I arranged for that to happen early before getting into Sandra mode!) and then later after dressing I made a small meal and caught up on some movies. I saw “Midsommar” on Amazon Prime, which turned out to be so creepy and disturbing that I’m not sure it was the best choice, though it is good if you like horror. The same director also made “Hereditary” with Toni Collette, and you can really see the similarities, especially that feeling of slowly growing dread – fun stuff for the holidays! ;-)

An online friend also sent me a copy of “The Girl in the Spider’s Web,” which has a nice scene with the lead, Claire Foy, sealed up by her sister in a full-body latex sleepsack – the scene is maybe not played up to the same degree that fetishists and bondage fans like ourselves would like to see but it’s still pretty hot. By that point I’d had one too many glasses of wine so I was getting a little foggy on the plot anyway. All in all though it was not a bad way to spend the day, dressing and relaxing, and I’ve done much worse. We’ll see where we’re at next year.

So for everyone here in the States I hope you also had a nice Thanksgiving, however you spent it, whether online or face to face. And for everyone, stay safe and be well! Hugs, Sandra

Pre-Covid Halloween

Like so many things this year Halloween has been a lot quieter, though I did get to dress up and watch a good zombie movie with my housemate, “Train to Busan,” which was thoroughly enjoyable.

Let’s hope that next year (maybe next summer or fall?) we’ll be back to going out to West Hollywood again for the big street party. Whenever they do get back to it I’m sure it’ll be the biggest blow-out they’ve ever had. Something to look forward to. In the meantime here are a few pics from last year with my friend Ikaras, plus Victoria Venery and of course Jon Woods and Lorelei from bedroom bondage. Fun night!

Starting to Shoot Again…

Hi Everyone…I’ve been a little quiet on the blog lately, and it’s obviously been a strange and worrisome summer with the coronavirus pandemic going on. As I’ve said earlier, there are a lot of opinions about what’s going on, and lots of politics involved, which I don’t need to comment on, though all the polarization does sometimes make me scratch my head. I’ll just leave it at that!

The last few months though I’ve shot a number of self-bondage videos (probably still five or six of them that I haven’t yet released). And since it appears that the pandemic isn’t going away anytime soon, I’ve also cautiously started to shoot again with other models, taking as many precautions as I can.

Here in L.A. County you can get free Covid testing, though getting the results can sometimes take several days, which makes it much less useful, though it’s something if both the model and me have mostly been staying home. There’s also a lab where the porn stars go which I’ve started to use where they do one- or two-day results. You gotta hand it to the porn stars – if we all took testing (for STDs and now Covid) as seriously as they do, we could bring down the infection rates of this disease considerably in just a couple months.

In any case, I’m trying to be as cautious as I can, getting tested before each shoot and just meeting one on one with the other models. I’ve shot about seven scenes so far, a few with my friend Jeanne and a few with GG Star Nine. And I’ve been reaching out to other models. Everyone has their own comfort level of course and some want to shoot and others want to wait, which I totally understand.

I have been shooting at a slower pace, not surprisingly, and I’ve been posting a lot of the older and “reserve” material that I normally try to keep on hand. So I’ll probably have to slow down my update schedule just a little bit in a month or so, but I’ll post more about that as it gets closer. Trannies in Trouble is continuing on – I’m not going away or shutting down, but I also want to continue to move ahead cautiously, especially with L.A. County still being the Covid hotspot in Southern Californa.

In any case thanks again for everyone’s support and understanding in this strange time. I’ll try to write more news as it comes. In the meantime here are a few recent preview framegrabs from upcoming videos – these were all a blast to shoot! Stay safe and have fun! Hugs, Sandra

Start of the Summer and More Self Bondage…

Hi Everyone! We’re definitely feeling the approaching summer here in L.A. Things are slowly opening up and the traffic is picking up though the modified lockdown in L.A. is still going on, probably sometime into July, though I don’t know for sure. So it’s a strange time.

I did shoot another self-bondage video, though, which I just posted over on the site. It was a warm night so I’m wearing my tight white retro underwear. I strike some poses and then do a quick book review of a Brenda Starr book that a friend recently sent me. Then it’s on to some self-bondage with some big bulge Hitachi action and finishing up chairtied with the Hitachi strapped into my lap till it finishes me all off!

I also have another video coming up in a couple weeks with the “ice and key” trick that I mentioned over in the Fetlife Group. And I shot another one where I panicked after a few minutes, not sure if I’ll post that one or not but we’ll see. It sure reminded me that self-bondage is risky and you want to make sure you have plenty of ways to get out if you really get stuck or start to lose your nerve – which actually happens to me pretty easily with self bondage in spite of all my experience.

In any case I hope you’re all well and dealing with things as we head into the summer – take care!

Slowly Losing It At Home and Navigating the Conspiracy Theories…

Hi Everyone! How are you? Are you staying safe and doing okay? I’m doing fine and I also have days when I think I’m slowly losing it. So in many ways my experience is probably about average. I’m one of those people who has a fairly comfortable living situation and food in the fridge and wine on the counter. And also I’m sometimes fairly stressed. But I’m very aware that I’m much better off than many.

At the same time, though, this is tough for everyone. One thing I’ve been dealing with, like many, is trying to stay in touch on the phone with my family. I don’t talk about my Mom or my family much, but my Mom is heavily into conspiracy theories and it can sometimes be a bit exhausting talking to her on the phone. I try to check in every couple days but some days I have to brace myself. There are loads of conspiracy theories online, so I won’t repeat all of them but due to her influence I’ve become familiar with many of them. I only hope that she doesn’t cavalierly treat Covid 19 as just a big hoax and get sick with it, as she could have a difficult time were she to become ill.

The funny thing about having a family member who’s into conspiracies is that their worldview can slowly make you start to question things, even if you don’t really believe any of the conspiracies yourself. That’s how conspiracy theories work; they get into your mind and make you start to question basic assumptions, and then a few months later you find yourself thinking, “Wait a minute, maybe there really are shape-shifting reptilians below the surface of the earth who are running the government!? I mean, if you can conceive of it it could be possible, right?”

I’ve even read some articles she’s sent me and listened to podcasts where I’ve been worried I might start to believe the latest Covid 19 conspiracies. But the reassuring thing is that so many of these websites make such sweeping and dramatic arguments with only questionable evidence to back them up (the inevitable “One World Government” being a good example). So I generally find there’s little risk of being sucked into their worldview since they just don’t argue their position in a very convincing way – you either buy into it already or you don’t. Plus, a lot of them are just poorly written. If someone keeps messing up “there,” “they’re” and “their” I tend to move on even if they do have some cool artwork about the digitally-produced Matrix that we’re all living inside. The crazy thing is that a lot of these conspiracy websites practically believe that the Wachowski sisters’ movie was a documentary.

Having said all this it’s maybe a little creepy to shift from my Mom to my self-bondage escapades but I’m pretty sure she’ll never read this blog. Here’s a picture from another bit of fun I got into last week, with a very big tapegag that was inspired by a recent custom video that I shot. It’s hard to do something really creative here in my small bedroom but I’m doing my best to come up with something sexy and strict. If you’re doing the same feel free to comment and share your experiences. I don’t know if this blog post makes much sense or if I’ll delete it tomorrow (Oh crap, I can’t talk about my Mom!), but for now here it is. In any case I’m planning to try to do more shenanigans tomorrow! Take care and stay safe!

Self-Bondage in Self-Isolation

Like many of you I’ve been going a little stir crazy with the stay-at-home order that was issued on March 19th here in California. In some ways my life hasn’t dramatically changed, as I’ve always spent a lot of time working from home on the computer, but I sure do miss going out to see friends, going to parties and going to the gym. Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a mild germ phobe so the coronavirus has certainly increased my sense of dread and anxiety, as it has for many. But I’m dealing with it and most of the time I’m feeling fine. I’m also very grateful to be living in a house with a roommate who’s also being careful and taking things seriously.

Last weekend though I decided to get dressed up and see if I could shoot a little self-bondage video. I dressed up in a slutty tranny outfit and tried on some lace-top stay-up hosiery. I’m not sure if I liked the hose that much but they did feel sexy to wear, as the elastic around my thighs was very tight and had sort of a bondage-y feel to them. Here are a few framegrabs from the video. I still need to edit it some more and make sure it’s worth posting, but I’ll probably add it to the site in a couple weeks. I’m already thinking of what I can do next to pass the time!

I hope you’re all doing well out there and staying healthy. Stay safe and let’s get through this separated but together.

Interview for ByTheRope Podcast

(Well, I hate to report but Vimeo canceled Michael’s podcast, so the link no longer works. But it was fun while it lasted! Let’s hope he’s up and running on another platform soon!)

I recently did an interview with Michael over at ByTheRopePodcast which he just posted. It was a lot of fun chatting with him about bondage and the website business. What he’s doing is really cool – interviews with Damsel in Distress Bondage Models and Producers with an added emphasis on shiny pantyhose.

Michael is also over on Twitter, definitely worth the follow. I’m hoping to do more with him in the future, including some upcoming reviews of Trannies In Trouble videos – Great guy!

Another Year, and Decade, Lurch to the Finish Line…

Hi Everyone!  I hope you’ve all had a good year.  It’s been an unusual one for me, with a few friends and people I’ve worked a lot with moving away; which has also led to some new faces on the site, including CD bondage icon Jenny Page, whom I’m thrilled to finally have on T’s in Trouble.  We’ve known each other a long time but have just never gotten together as much as we should have.  However we’re planning to correct that and shoot lots more in 2020 – I’m really looking forward to it!

Photo by LavenderGirlx

Another change is that I finally posted some racy galleries over on the site, including some with fully exposed shots.  I was a little nervous about the reaction but by far it’s been mostly positive.  I even received a couple emails from members saying they didn’t think they’d enjoy seeing any nudity but then were pleasantly surprised when they found it sexy.  Of course with my sensibilities (if that’s the word), I think even if I were ever to attempt full-on porn it would be a lot tamer than what you’d find on the tube sites like Pornhub (Don’t get me started on that one! ;-)

I also took the plunge and finally got a really nice Sony video camera last summer.  I still have a lot of unedited material from the old camera but everything that I shoot going forward should technically be a cut above.  Which leads me to the question: What would people think if Trannies In Trouble eventually emphasized videos more and still pictures a little less?  I’m not sure how that would look at this point – and I still love still pictures, so would never give up on those – but with this killer new video camera I do wonder if I should emphasize the videos a little more.  If you have any thoughts or feedback leave a comment below or write me directly.  Like I say, there won’t be any big changes anytime soon, but just an idea that’s been on my mind.

I also always want to give a big thanks to the paying members and supporters at Trannies In Trouble!  Without each of you it simply would not happen – so thank you all so much!  As I’ve mentioned before the fetish website business in general has taken a very big hit the last five or so years.  So you’re the reason my site it still chugging along after sixteen years and moving along into the next decade.  I’m going to go as long as I can and I value your support.

Finally, I am always looking for new models, new locations to shoot in, and people with the skills to assist – camera skills, riggers, or just all-around helpers who are reliable and sane. You can always write me at my regular email if you think you could help me out with any of those.

I hope everyone who’s celebrating has a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Super Solstice and anything else you may be celebrating.  And I hope you’ll be able to spend time with friends and family.  If you’re alone on the holiday – I’ve been there myself many times – I hope it’s still meaningful and a nice break for you, or overtime pay if you have to work!  Onward and upward…Hugs, Sandra

Photo by LavenderGirlx

Yahoo Groups Shutting Down

A few weeks ago I noticed that Yahoo was soon planning to disable a bunch of the features in Yahoo Groups. Somehow I thought the conversation threads would still be active but not so. So it looks like it’s the end of an era at Yahoo Groups.

I’m sad to see them go away as Yahoo was one of the first places where I saw and posted CD bondage pics all those years ago. It was a good run and the Trannies In Trouble Yahoo Group has been online since March, 2003. I’m happy to say that mine was one of the few Groups that didn’t get overrun by spam even if it wasn’t very active the last few years. I still post over on Fetlife and on Twitter and my website of course isn’t going anywhere but I’m still sorry to see Yahoo go…Onward and upward…Sandra

Steve Villa Gagged the Crap Out of Me!

I had a really fun time getting tied up and gagged recently by Steve Villa. A few weeks ago I posted a new video where I get discovered as the closeted crossdressing son of his girlfriend, and just this last weekend I posted another one where he picks me up for a “date” but has his own ideas for how the evening is going to go.

Steve always ties tight and he’s known for his intense gags. I took some deep breaths and relaxed myself before doing these scenes since I knew I was going to be seriously gagged – which of course I love. I’m happy to say I handled everything just fine and I was in a natural bondage high by the end of the evening. We’re planning to shoot some more scenes in the months ahead, so I’m really looking forward to more intense gagging!

“Faux ASMR” Sandra Does Self Bondage

I shot something a little different the other night. I had a few hours free in a cheap motel so I decided to do some self bondage, something I haven’t done in a long time! And since the walls of the motel were so thin I thought I’d do a “fake” ASMR-style video, whispering to the camera while I discussed what I was about to do. It was a sexy and intense evening and when the Hitachi came out at the end there really wasn’t any acting involved. Here are a few animated gifs to go with it, and here’s the link to the What’s New? page.

Sandra Gibbons talks about what's happening in her world, both bondage related and not