I just had a really enjoyable shoot this afternoon with my friend Al from Popshot Pictures. If you’re a tranny (or anyone for that matter) and you need a photographer in the S. California area, Al’s your man! I always enjoy shooting with him. Here are a few shots with this sexy pvc dress that my friend Barbara gave me at the Club Fantasy party. She was amazingly generous, cleaning out her closet and bringing all kinds of great fetish wear and heels to share with everyone. I knew this one would be good for a photo shoot. It’s funny, sometimes when I’m shooting bondage pictures we’re so focused on the tying and posing and photography that it’s almost like real work. But on this set I totally zoned out and went off into the Bondage Zone. I wish I could have had Al just leave me there for a few hours and come back later to check on me, perhaps with his tranny-tormenting friend in tow – Oops, my fantasies are kicking in ;-) Anyway, I’ll probably post the full set of pictures in about two weeks on the Trannies site.

Vegas: By the way, it’s more end of the year travel here. I’m meeting my best friend K. from Colorado tomorrow for a couple days at a friend’s timeshare in Las Vegas. So my email will be even more spotty than normal (and it can be pretty spotty at best). I’m not much of a gambler, might just blow twenty dollars at the nickel slots or something like that. But I always love going to Vegas for just a day or two. Any longer and the city’s charms start to quickly wear thin. Alas, there’ll be no bondage or crossdressing but it’ll still be fun.

Lately while editing pictures for the website I’ve been listening to the podcast from Dan Savage, who does the hilarious “Savage Love” sex advice column. There are links to his podcast here, or you can subscribe from Itunes, and it’s free! I love how he talks so freely about this stuff and throws out all these words with not a hint of hesitation – fuck, shit, piss, come, and on and on. I’ve already learned all kinds of crazy things, like having sex with dolphins.

I took a long weekend off and went to Atlanta to visit with my parents for a few days. They’re divorced but it was a friendly one and they both live here, so it’s convenient for visiting. And like I’ve mentioned before they’re getting old so I try to see them a few times a year. I flew on AirTran again on a 737 and had the best seat in the plane – 31F, which is way down on the last row, but because of the configuration of the plane there’s lots of extra room and room next to the seat for a good size carry on bag. It was the easiest flight I’ve been on in a long time and I slept like a baby. There was a little turbulance coming in and I always imagine the side of the plane ripping open and the seats being sucked out for a terrifying free fall to death. But I still enjoy air travel and it’s way safer than driving on the freeway any day of the week in Los Angeles.

Well, not much blogging this last week, but hey, some new pictures! A cute TG girl named Rachel whom I met at FetishCon last August just sent me a few new pictures she had taken, where I’m getting worked over by the beautiful and sexy Rubberdoll at her “Wheel of Pain.” I’m smitten!

Just a quick note that the next Club Fantasy TG Bondage Party / Social is this Friday, September 21st in North Hollywood, CA.

There’s also a new schedule for the monthly Rope Bondage Workshop online at the Threshold website. This Sunday from 4 to 6 PM we’ll do some decorative bondage. Also in N. Hollywood, CA.

Come check out the next Syren! party Saturday night in West Hollywood, with fabulous TV Fetish Model Nicci Tristan! It should be a fun one. I’ll be there for sure, bringing some rope. Hope to see you there!

Yesterday I went to the bimonthly “Insight” presentation at the Lair de Sade in North Hollywood and saw a great presentation by Patrick on “The Art And Functionality Of The Western Diamond Hitch Knot,” which sounds way more esoteric than it really is. Patrick gave an excellent demo, showing some useful and simple ways to do that rope harness with the diamond-shaped pattern that you so often see. I don’t get over to the Lair de Sade too often but it’s a really nice dungeon and everyone was really nice. The Insight afternoons are held twice a month and are open to non-members with an email invite. They’re only ten dollars and they give excellent presentations and also have a few vendors of kinky things on hand. It’s a great way to get out and meet people and learn new things. I also ran into John from Taboo Leather, whom I always enjoy chatting with. A thoroughly pleasant and fun afternoon.

So along the same lines as the last post, I do like to try to be open about my life and not hide things if possible – not always an easy chore when you’re a bondage-loving transvestite with a fetish website. I’ve been really lucky this summer in that I’ve been able to share a lot more of what I’m really up to in life with my parents, especially with my mother, and it’s taken a big load off my shoulders.

My mother and I always had a decent relationship but there was some distance because, although she knew I was a crossdresser and knew I ran some sort of website that had something to do with crossdressing, she didn’t know the full story and I always felt like I was shading the truth and hiding things from her whenever we talked on the phone. Not that I have any desire to tell her the juicy details of what I do, but I still felt a weight from always being overly cautious with her. I find it’s just a pain in the ass to live that way. In many ways she was the person I feared the most in the world, not a great way to have a decent relationship with one’s mother. And both of my parents are getting older and both have health problems so they’re not going to be here forever.

So anyway, I was able to have a good talk with her a while ago and, damn, she knows the full story now. I even told her about the rope bondage class that I teach. It wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds since, yeah, she already knew about 65% of the story, but I’m straight with her now and that’s a nice feeling. Again, I’m not going to tell her what I do when I go out to that party in the Valley or meet up with so and so, but it’s good and very freeing just to be known for who you really are, especially if who you are is a little on the weird side.

My Dad on the other hand, has always been such a free spirit and so open minded that I literally could talk to him about ANYTHING, which is also pretty weird. He’s known about my “lifestyle” and work for quite a while and has always been incredibly supportive. I think he imagines that my life is actually way wilder and crazier than it really is, which is kind of funny. Many Saturday nights I’m just at home like everyone else.

Anyway, I’m really lucky to have such great parents. I know that for many other tvs and tgs out there that being this open about one’s secrets isn’t even in the realm of possibility. Although I have to admit, at one time I thought the same thing about my own mother, that it would kill her if she knew about my life. So far her heart’s still ticking away.

I’ve talked here before about how I’ve been taking prozac and other anti-depressants for years and how it’s really helped me with my tendency towards depression. Sometimes when someone would ask me why I was depressed it just seemed like the answer was, “Because that’s what I do.” When I’m upset or otherwise unhappy I tend to get depressed. That’s where the pressure and negativity show up.

I started taking the pills back in the nineties but within the last year or so I’ve wondered what life would be like without them. I’m way better off in all respects and much stronger than I was back then, so with my doctor’s supervision I’ve been weaning off them and am now just on a tiny amount each week and will probably be off the drugs completely in a month or two. It’s generally been going pretty well, though I have my occasional bad days still. In fact, even when I was taking prozac I would have many days where I was still depressed, which is something I need to remember. Because now that I’m heading off them, whenever I have a bad day emotionally I make myself kind of crazy thinking, “Is this because I’m no longer on the Good Stuff?” I’ve got a huge talent for self torment when I’m in that mood.

It’s funny, I’ve had friends make different comments. Some have said, if you’re feeling good and the drugs work, why go off them? It’s not like it’s bad to take them, which I agree. I’m very thankful that the medication is available. Others have said, just go cold turkey and be done with it! My main desire is that I just want to see how life is without them. Plus they do have some minor side-effects like dampening my libido, and I’d rather be un-dampened if possible. And it’s just been a really really long time that I’ve been taking this stuff. I wonder about the long-term effects. Of course, if in six months I find that I just don’t function that well without anti-depressants, I think I would be open to reconsidering it if I felt I needed to. There’s obviously still stigma attached to mental illness, which is one reason I try not to hide my experiences. With my website I have a tiny bit of exposure on the internet (in a very specific niche) and I hope that maybe by being open about my own struggles with depression that it might help someone else to get help if they need it. It really sucks to be miserable and isolated.

So yesterday I presented the monthly rope bondage workshop at Threshold in North Hollywood. It went really well. The turnout was a bit small, about eight people, but everyone seemed engaged and I was feeling relaxed and completely in the zone during the presentation. I’ve been doing it now for about a year and a half and basically have about seven or eight different presentations that have developed over that time, and I’m going to be working on writing up a full schedule to post fairly soon on the Threshold website so everyone will be able to know what’s coming up next. I’m also always looking for special guest presenters, so if you’re a good rigger or know one who might like to give a demo, please let me know. You can leave a comment here or send an email from my trannies website.

The next workshop will be Sunday, September 23rd, from 4 till 6 PM in North Hollywood, CA.

Another highlight from FetishCon was the insane Reverend B. Dangerous freak show performance at the Sunday night party. He’s a crazy guy who puts scorpions in his mouth and electric drills up his nose. I love this kind of sick stuff. Here’s some pictures from the 2006 FetishCon but it was essentially the same show.

FetishCon was a huge success! I had an awesome time and will definitely be going back next year. I’ve been up for 24 hours from Sunday till Monday, got a little rest on the plane, but am really beat and badly need a nap. One highlight I can mention is getting stocked and violet-wanded by Rubberdoll at her “wheel of pain.” I’ll post a full report with lots of fetish name dropping in the next day or so ;-)

I’ll be away from the computer for a few days while in Tampa at FetishCon. I’m really looking forward to it and hopefully I’ll have a lot of new pictures to share when I get back.

This week’s update I’ll probably post early on Wednesday since I have to travel on Thursday. As always, if anyone has password problems or anything, you can get help on the CCBill help page. For other billing companies there are links on my Help Page. I’ll probably get online a few times but my email access will be spotty at best.

One of the things I try to do is be open to other people, especially people I don’t know and run into during everyday activities. I often fall short but it’s something to aim for. I do a fair amount of walking and hiking in my guy mode life and when I’m out and about I like to make eye contact with people and say hi or good morning if they seem at all open to it – nothing more than that, just trying to acknowledge the other person. If someone has their ear glued to a cell phone or is intently studying the ground, of course, I won’t say anything. But so often, maybe especially in a big city, it seems people generally go around avoiding each other, refusing to make eye contact or even smiling. I don’t think it has to be this way, though maybe I’m being a bit of an idealist.

So this morning when I was out walking, I was in an area with a lot of homeless and “interesting” people and this guy with only a few teeth was approaching, maybe listening to an iPod, I couldn’t tell for sure. He was looking right at me, so I smiled and nodded and said, “Hey,” and as he’s going by I hear him saying, “You better watch you’re f**cking mouth.” It was actually kind of funny. I didn’t feel in danger or anything, since I think he was talking to his own inner demons as much as me. But it was like an illustration of exactly the kind of thing I would often tell myself, that I have to “watch it” or “be careful.” And I’m not sure that being careful has really served me that well over the years. I know I’ve shut myself down and told myself I couldn’t do something or wasn’t good enough many times, all in the name of being careful. Of course, there’s reasonable caution, such as not walking down a dark street in the city in full drag with six inch heels. But there are many areas in life where taking some risks can really pay off.

Okay, I know this is probably sounding pretty New-Agey but that’s what’s on my mind. Maybe I’ve been in Southern California a little too long.