The last few months I’ve noticed a strange thing on Fetlife. I’ve heard from maybe five or six CDs who write to say hi. We might email back and forth casually a few times and then – Poof! – their profile is gone. Maybe they’ve blocked me, though I tend to doubt that. More likely I would guess they’ve maybe had second thoughts about being visible online and have simply disabled their own profile. Of course in either case they’re basically gone and it’s impossible to send them a follow-up email. It’s happened so many times in the last few months that it’s become a recognizable pattern. I don’t take it personally, as I really don’t think it’s about me at all. The way I read it, it’s just that there are so many closeted CDs out there with such mixed feelings about who they are and what we do. It’s similar in that regard to purging. Someone can come online for a while and talk about dressing and really admit to what they like, and then I’m guessing the fear and doubt set in and they pull away. I do get it and I understand the impulse but it is rather depressing to see this happen so often (along with all those faceless chopped-off-head crossdressing pictures). Obviously so many CDs are just so terribly conflicted. Or hey, maybe it’s something altogether different: I don’t know, maybe that Eastern European tranny-kidnapping ring really is preying on Fetlife CDs!

If I were going to give some advice it would be that it doesn’t have to be so hard. But at the same time I remember when I was younger I was probably just as scared and conflicted so I really do understand and sympathize. But after so many years of being out and visible it’s all become, not routine, but just not that big a deal. Yes, I still have my own moments of doubt from time to time, especially when checking into hotels dressed, but nowhere near what they used to be. I wish I could convince other gurls who are just starting out that if you take it easy and take some basic safety precautions when going out and meeting people, you’ll probably be fine. There is always risk in being more visible, sometimes big risk depending on the situation (meeting strangers from Craigslist for hookups, for example), but our own fears hold us back more than anything.

At the same time, like I said in an earlier post about coming out, I know it’s not easy and that everyone has to find find their own comfort level. I just wish these gurls could relax more, as it’s really just the disappearing without a word that’s so baffling. I don’t mean to sound scolding, as that’s not my intent at all, but I do know in the CD and trans community that this is very common behavior, almost a rule. Anyway, I’m not going anywhere so if anyone needs to reach me you know where I’m at (though the email piles up and may take a while!) But hey, if you’re cute and submissive and into being tied up and need to be comforted in your internal conflicts with some tight bondage – sorry, dear, but yes, your Aunt Sandra has to make it tight – well then, you’ll have a very good chance of hearing back from me…

I’m always looking for new and interesting gags to purchase, especially panel gags which are a favorite. I recently wrote to JB Roper to see where he got this terrific gag in the picture below with Summer Peters but unfortunately it came from Autumn’s Sub Shop which is out of business. If anyone has any leads on other good panel gags or head harness gags to purchase online, feel free to post a link here in the comments below or email me directly. I recently bought a few on Ebay but they were mostly cheap junk, only one was worth it but I’m always looking for good new stuff, so do let me know!

There are some friends and nice people whom I occasionally hear from on Facebook but I also get so many weird emails, to the point that I sometimes wonder if I should just cancel my profile. I’d say it’s certainly one of the sketchier social networking sites out there despite its mainstream popularity. And I don’t log on too often because of that and finally turned off the option for anyone to post anything on my “wall,” because it was just too much work to clean up. I’ve probably gotten more marriage proposals on there and emails with long passages of purple prose talking about love and searching for one’s soulmate, all from perfect strangers whom I’ve never talked with before. It’s always a little disconcerting to get those, especially when there’s no mention of crossdressing or bondage or any reference to any common interests. I’m always thinking, “This person certainly knows I’m a CD, right?” I assume they do and maybe they consider it bad manners to address it directly, but hey, no, actually if someone writes and says, “I love crossdressers and bondage” that’s great (well, hopefully they’ll write a little more than just that.) But even then we might actually have a conversation.

Just this evening I also got a request for money from someone who’s going through a tough patch. I’m sorry to hear about that but there are probably other sources of support than a strange tranny with some sissy maid pictures, but I’m just guessing here. Anyway, I’m not really upset or anything, just a little baffled at the level of bizarre. Of course, I’m not going to cancel my account, as it’s great free publicity for sending people over to my own much smaller website. Finally though, if you and I have ever exchanged emails on Facebook, believe me, I like you very much and don’t think you’re strange at all. No, of course not…unless you’re asking for my Paypal account or calling me a sweet flower of the morning who will bring you the joy and love you fervently seeketh in life (but not spelled that well). Good luck!

I had a fun shoot with Kyra Pixie several weeks ago where she’s lounging around in her red leotard and plaid skirt, enjoying a yoga workout when she’s suddenly surprised by intruder Otto Devoid who finds her front door unlocked. She tries to be a clever victim, talking back to her intruder and trying to outsmart him but eventually she’s trapped and helpless, growing more and more worried as she has a scarf shoved in her mouth and duct tape wrapped tightly all around her head and across her pouty lips. The pictures will be on the site later tonight and the twenty-three minutes video will go up in a few days. Hope you enjoy!

I had a great time last year shooting with the lovely and very strict Ms. Jewell Marceau. Jewell’s a very busy lady so it was a real treat when she had the time to do it again last weekend; I definitely didn’t want to miss the chance! We shot a couple scenes, the first with me as her sissy maid and the second as a foolish crossdressing husband whose wife hires a cruel pro domme to punish me for my secret life. We shot with the super-talented Ninja Jon and Jewell put me through the ringer, but it was a blast, with a super-tight chair tie on the second set and leading up to some serious hooding on both of them. Also on Twitter she gave me one of the nicest compliment I’ve ever received. Although I don’t really enjoy pain like a full-blown masochist would, I can take quite a bit and I do really like the challenge and headspace of endurance ;-)

So here’s a small sample of last Saturday’s fun, with the full galleries coming up in the months ahead. I’m hoping we’ll be able to do it again…Enjoy!

I’d never heard of Grayson Perry before but loved this short video interview that he did on a website called “He wears panties,” which I’ll definitely have to check out later in more detail! Perry is an artist and potter in the UK and an unabashed crossdresser and fetishist who when dressing sometimes goes by the name “Claire.” Apparently he also spent time rooming with Boy George years ago when they were both just getting started – doesn’t get much cooler than that! I always love hearing about people who completely embrace their weirdness and live their lives one hundred percent in a less-than-approving world. So glad I heard about him, or her, as the case may be!

About ten years ago a nice web designer from Italy made a small site for me that I posted at the domain Sandra In Trouble. I’ve made a few very minor tweaks to it over the years, but since the design and layout are pretty tricky I never attempted a major change. I’d hate to take it offline though since Enrico did such a nice job on the original site. But time moves on so I finally gave it a new look, adding a list of links where my pictures can be seen and moving the original layout down to the bottom of the page for anyone who hasn’t seen the original site. At least now it won’t seem so static (well, at least until this one is online for a few months ;-)

(Congratulations to Rafter for winning the giveaway and thanks to everyone for all the nice comments and support – you warm my heart! It’s been a lot of fun doing these giveaways and I’m looking forward to the years ahead with lots more to come!)

This is it! At the end of March it’ll be the ten-year anniversary of Trannies In Trouble – in case anyone here has missed the news! ;-) And to celebrate I’m giving away a $75 dollar gift certificate from one of my favorite online bondage stores, Hottbonds. I’ve bought a lot of stuff from them the last few years and it’s always very high-quality – and real nice people too!

So again it’s really easy to enter. If we haven’t worked together before on my website and if you haven’t won anything else here in the last six months, just leave a comment below with your email address. Then around March 23rd I’ll use random.org to select a winner and email you for verification. Once I hear back I’ll email you the gift certificate code and you’re all set to go shopping for some new bondage gear. It’s that easy. Of course, just be sure that the gift certificate is something that you’d actually use and that it’s okay to receive packages at your address. They always arrive discreet and unmarked from Hottbonds.

It’s been a lot of fun doing these giveaways for the upcoming anniversary and I’m already looking ahead to new things on the horizon. Thanks again for all the comments and all your support over the years, and here’s to many more!

I just posted a new video over on the website that I was able to do with a special guest GG (genetic girl) model named Jennifer West at last year’s FetishCon in Tampa. Our friend Jeff Jamm shot the video and we all had a fun time. Jennifer was a real trooper and takes some really tight bondage with her elbows nearly touching and patiently suffers and endures being roughly handled and sarcastically talked down to. I really liked the gagging part especially as Jennifer was very compliant and makes some really nice mmpphing sounds as I buckled it in. I made some technical mistakes on the flash for the still shots unfortunately, so we only have a few stills and I thought I’d just post them here, but the video was the main focus of the shoot anyway. Thanks, Jennifer and Jeff!

My friend AmberKatt sent me this screengrab from the recent Serene Isley set on the website, with a little added commentary…Yeah, that AmberKatt, she’s a real smartaleck! ;-)

(Congratulations to Jenna for winning the gift certificate! Thanks as always for all the nice comments, and I’ll be doing one more big giveaway for a drawing on March 23rd, so check back and leave more comments once that one’s up. It’ll be a very desirable gift for any bondage fan!)

Time for yet another giveaway for the upcoming ten-year-anniversary of Trannies In Trouble in late March. This time I’m giving away a fifty dollar gift certificate to Fashions4Fetish, maker of high-quality maid’s uniforms, dresses and other fetish wear. Their workmanship is top-notch and although you may pay a little more for their maid’s outfits, they are definitely worth it. I got this purple satin maid’s outfit to wear out to Halloween last year and it was perfect and drew lots of attention from passersby!

Once again it’s easy to enter. Just leave a comment below and you’ll have to leave your email address. Then at the end of February I’ll use random.org to select a comment and will email the winner to let them know. It’s that easy! All I ask is that you only leave a comment if the gift certificate is something that you will actually use – I’d hate to see it go to waste. In addition to the maid’s uniforms, that run around $135, they also have other less expensive items, including some spandex mistress dresses for right around $50 dollars. Again, to avoid any appearance of favoritism, I’ll unfortunately have to exclude people who have worked with me before on the Ts in Trouble website. Also you should not have won anything here within the last year, and the winner will have a week to get back to me once I notify them (although there’s no time limit on the gift certificate itself once you receive it from me.)

Thanks again for all the nice comments on the earlier giveaways – there’ll be one more coming up in March! Here are a few pictures of the maid’s uniform, including one out in West Hollywood. Good luck!

(Congratulations to Eryn and Miki and Audrey for winning the hoods! I’m doing another giveaway above for the Fashions4Fetish gift certificate and then a very big and desirable $75 dollar gift certificate in March from a company that any bondage fan would love! I’ll post more updates in the Yahoo Group as things proceed. Thanks again for all the nice comments!)

So for the next giveaway for the upcoming ten-year-anniversary of Trannies In Trouble (in March) there’ll be three brand new never-been-worn hoods from Winter Fetish, maker of high-quality stretch wear (love their stuff!). I originally was only going to give away one of them but the folks at Winter Fetish very generously donated two more when they heard about the giveaway! So for this one there will be three winners at the end of January, each one getting one of the hoods, selected at random from left to right in the picture below, so the odds of winner are even better this go around.

Once again it’s very easy to enter. Just leave a comment below and you’ll have to leave your email address. Then at the end of January I’ll use random.org to select three of the comments and will email the winners to get a mailing address from them and will then mail them off, postage paid. It’s that easy! Again, to avoid any appearance of favoritism, I’ll unfortunately have to exclude people whom I’ve worked with before on the website. And you should not have won anything here within the last year. Also, although the packaging will be discreet, of course be sure you have a mailing address where it’s okay to receive fetish items – don’t want to get anyone in trouble.

I’m really looking forward to these upcoming giveaways and again really appreciate all the nice comments on the last one. Here are a couple pictures below with Paige (from some upcoming photo sets) wearing the same style of full hood with nose holes and also the sweet gwen hood. Good luck!

So the other week I asked on the Trannies Yahoo Group if anyone knew where I’d taken the most recent tagline from on the Trannies In Trouble site (the little phrase in quotations under the main title). At that time it was, “”I shouldn’t have come…I didn’t want to…I wasn’t going to.” Well, I’m sure the suspense has been kiling everyone, so the answer is that it came from the Guido Crepax cartoon, “Valentina in Reflection” from Heavy Metal magazine, December 1980. Yeah, rather obscure but somehow that line got stuck in my head over three decades ago and has never left. (The line “But originally I said no” was another one that seemed weighted with significance and got stuck in my long-term memory.)

I remember getting that magazine in the mail on a late afternoon in Colorado. I recall that before walking back into the house I caught a quick glimpse of the picture below, got immediately turned on and then walked inside to find a friend of my mother’s there in the kitchen visiting. Strangely enough, this was the same woman who on an earlier visit had told me I should have been born a girl, which really threw me into a state of embarrassment and sexual excitement. (For some reason she was alone in the kitchen on that earlier visit and when I walked in she glanced at me – I was very slender and had long hair – and she uttered that startling sentence.) So anyway, here I was again with this same woman (don’t recall if my mother was there too), once again sexually agitated and after a few awkward moments I excused myself and went down to my room to immediately check out the rest of this cartoon (that one page was the best one unfortunately). I don’t recall if I rubbed one out while my mother’s friend was still visiting or whether it was later that evening but I’m sure it happened at some point. Weird the things you remember and the details you don’t.

In any case Guido Crepax is pretty fantastic though I’d always wished he’d done more blatantly bondage oriented stuff. Still his drawings were always very strange and sexy and he was obviously hugely talented. Good stuff.

Tiffany over at Tiffany’s Trapped TV Caps recently sent me some more pictures from Ts in Trouble that she added her cute captions to, doing one of her trademark males-tricked-into-crossdressing-and-forced-to-become-transvestite-brides stories. Her storylines are always cute and sexy and her website is definitely worth checking out. Enjoy!

I’ve been looking at some sexy comics and artwork lately and really like two artists whom I’ve mentioned earlier on Twitter. The first is a terrific comics artist named Bathgate21 who does really nice cartoons featuring crossdressing, bondage and Femdoms, many of them featuring the Archies characters and Bugs Bunny and friends dressed in drag (which are surprisingly sexy!) There are quite a few sample pics on the link above, over on DeviantArt.

The other artist I wanted to mention is the amazingly talented Sardax, who draws very creative Femdom scenarios, including a nice series of drawings for the Humiliatrix.com website mentioned in an earlier post. His work blows me away and once I have more free time (yeah, when’s that gonna happen?) I definitely need to join his site and check him out in more detail.

Rope bondage has always been my favorite kind of bondage, although I have gotten more interested in handcuffs and restraints in the last couple years. One site I check out from time to time is Felix Dartmouth’s Archives BBS which features lots of handcuff bondage and models in ultra-feminine fashions. It’s a good site that I’ve joined a couple times, although maneuvering it can be a little confusing, as it’s laid out in a unique database-style format. There are quite a few free pictures on the link above if you click around on the site.

I really love the picture directly below with the hinged handcuffs, and I’d love to get an elbow binder like that. I’ll have to check out Handcuff Warehouse in more detail when I have time to see if they carry something like that, but if anyone has a link there or at another vendor please post it in the comments section. They have several with just the nylon straps but I really like those steel pieces that slip over the nylon. It looks utterly inescapable, which is one of the advantages and turn-ons of handcuffs and restraints. Again, although rope is my favorite, if I were ever going to try to really keep someone captive for a long time, I’d use duct tape or handcuffs or cable ties. It’s just really tough to make rope truly inescapable unless you don’t care about injuring your captive, and you just cinch it down as tightly as you can – of course, not a good idea to really hurt people! Anyway, I’ll never stop doing rope bondage but I would like to do more handcuff and restraint pictures, as they can be just as sexy when done well.

Self Denial – My three-month orgasm control program was interesting and, technically, a failure. As I wrote earlier, I tend to enjoy my kinks more the fewer orgasms that I have, so it can be exciting to spread them out over a period of time and try to go weeks between them. My plan was to limit releasing myself to only once per month. I was able to do that for the month of July and strangely enough it wasn’t that difficult, though at the end of the month, when I was at Fetishcon, I was starting to climb the walls. August and September though were suddenly much more difficult and I broke down and had two orgasms for both of those months. In September they weren’t even that far apart, about six days, I believe.

So although five orgasms over a three-month period isn’t very many, I simply wasn’t able to control myself as much as I had hoped to. In fact, by the time that September came, I was going a little crazy and am actually surprised that I only had two for the entire month, as I could have easily had many more. So for now, I’m going to take a break from the program and just try to space things out as far as I can, but without any specific numbers in mind. It was an interesting experiment and I would highly recommend trying it for anyone who’s curious about orgasm denial or chastity. When you go a long time without any release it can really add a heightened intensity to those moments when you get turned on, and it can make it just mind-blowing when you do finally give in. If you’re really lucky you can sometimes have the kinds of orgasms that you remember years later, rather than the usual duds (almost like blowing your nose) that I’m so familiar with.

Email and Twitter – My ability to keep up with email is as bad as ever, with a long queue of messages that I may or may not get to. I know when it reaches that overwhelm point, quite often I simply never get around to replying. I really dislike doing that (it really sucks!) but I know there are many people over the years whom I’ve never gotten back to and I hope they don’t resent me for it. Friends and contacts whom I see in real life I try to make an extra effort for, but sometimes I’m bad even with them, especially when my mood is low, which as I’ve mentioned several times on this blog, happens more often than I like to admit.

I also haven’t really had a lot to blog about lately, and feel like I’ve been neglecting things here, but I have lately been fairly active on Twitter. I actually find I like it a lot more than I expected and I kind of wish all emails were limited to 140 characters – I’d be completely caught up if they were! My profile is here and there are a lot of other bondage people on the site too. It’s really easy to post individual pictures on Twitter too, much easier than on the blog, so I’ve been posting some pics there too. I don’t own a smart phone so thankfully I can’t go around all day long texting messages to post, which is for the best. And I’d hate to be one of those fanatics who tweets fifty times a day. Believe me, my life is not THAT interesting. I’m also on Facebook and Fetlife, so if you’re on those sites and would like to send me a friend request, please do. I say yes to most everyone, unless you start sending me political emails!

So that’s my exciting update – not-very-succesful orgasm control, way behind on email and posting random sexy pics and silly cartoons on Twitter – Yes!